Kentucky Jokes

Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

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 STATE OF KENTUCKY RESIDENCY APPLICATION  Name: ________________  (_) Billy-Bob            (last)        (_) Billy-Joe                          (_) Billy-Ray                          (_) Billy-Sue                          (_) Billy-Mae                          (_) Billy-Jack                          (Check appropriate box)    Age: ____   Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A   Shoe Size ____ Left ____ Right     Occupation:   (_) Farmer   (_) Mechanic   (_) Hair Dresser   (_) Un-employed     Spouse's Name: __________________________    Relationship with spouse:   (_) Sister   (_) Brother   (_) Aunt   (_) Uncle   (_) Cousin   (_) Mother   (_) Father   (_) Son   (_) Daughter   (_) Pet     Number of children living in household: ___  Number that are yours: ___    Mother's Name: _______________________  Father's Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank)     Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)  Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home?  (Check appropriate box)    __ Total number of vehicles you own  __ Number of vehicles that still crank  __ Number of vehicles in front yard  __ Number of vehicles in back yard  __ Number of vehicles on cement blocks     Firearms you own and where you keep them:   ____ truck   ____ bedroom   ____ bathroom   ____ kitchen   ____ shed     Model and year of your pickup: _____________ 194_     Do you have a gun rack?   (_) Yes (_) No; please explain:     Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:   (_) The National Enquirer   (_) The Globe   (_) TV Guide   (_) Soap Opera Digest   (_) Rifle and Shotgun     ___ Number of times you've seen a UFO    ___ Number of times you've seen Elvis    ___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO     How often do you bathe:   (_)Weekly   (_)Monthly   (_)Not Applicable     Color of teeth:   (_)Yellow   (_)Brownish-Yellow   (_)Brown   (_)Black   (_)N/A     Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:   (_)Red-Man     How far is your home from a paved road?   (_)1 mile   (_)2 miles   (_)don't know 

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Dumb Kentucky Laws

Any person who appears on any highway, or upon the street of any city that has no police protection, when clothed only in ordinary bathing garb, shall be fined no less than five dollars nor more than twenty-five dollars." - KRS 436.140 (Passed in 1922; Repealed in 1974)

No person shall sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange, display or possess living baby chicks, ducklings, or other fowl or rabbits which have been dyed or colored; nor dye or color any baby chicks, ducklings or other fowl or rabbits; nor sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange or to give away baby chicks, ducklings or other fowl or rabbits, under two months of age in any quantity less than six, except that any rabbit weighing three pounds or more may be sold at an age of six weeks. Any person who violates this section shall be fined not less than $100 nor more than $500. -KRS 436.600 (Passed 1966 Ky. Acts ch. 215, sec. 5.)

No person owning or controlling a billiard or pool table shall permit, for compensation or reward, any minor under eighteen (18) years of age to play any game on the table, unless such minor shall have first displayed an identification card containing his name, age, photograph, and the signature of his parents or guardian. The minor shall keep such identification card on his person, and it shall be subject to inspection at any time by any peace officer. The person owning or controlling such billiard or pool table shall keep and maintain a registration book in which each minor shall sign. The person owning or controlling such billiard or pool table shall supply a blank identification card to each parent or guardian who makes request for same. Any person who violates this section shall be fined not less than ten ($10) nor more than one hundred dollars ($100) for each offense. -KRS 436.320 (Passed 1893; Amended in 1954, Ky. Acts ch. 232, sec. 1)

Any person who displays, handles or uses any kind of reptile in connection withany religious service or gathering shall be fined not less than fifty dollars ($50) nor more than one hundred dollars ($100). -KRS 437.060 (Passed 1942, from Ky. Stat. sec. 1267a-1.).

It is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow in Kentucky.

It's illegal to fish in the Ohio River in Kentucky without an Indiana Fishing License.

All bees entering Kentucky shall be accompanied by certificates of health, stating that the

apiary from which the bees came was free from contagious or infectious disease. -KRS 252.130 (Passed in 1922; Repealed in 1948)

Lexington

It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.

By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground."

Owensboro

A woman may not buy a hat without her husband's permission.