Step 12 of the 12 steps

As I feel better about myself, I reach out to others who feel stuck.

Original wording (AA & others):
Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to other (alcoholics, codependents, people who feel stuck...); and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

A different outlook on life

In the original wording of the Step, the expression "spiritual awakening" conveys that something very powerful is happening. It implies that, for all intents and purposes, you are asleep until such a time as you have this awakening. When you're asleep, you may not notice what's happening around you. But you certainly notice the alarm clock that's waking you up.

The world outside doesn't change. What changes is the way you experience it. From feeling powerless and victimized, you now feel more at peace with the world. This is a different perspective, a much broader one.

There are still many things you'll feel powerless about. But you'll have less of a tendency to take the things you are powerless about as a personal insult. You'll tend to get less mired into what frustrates you. And you'll direct more of your energy in directions where you have some power to get what you want.

In other words, you feel better about yourself.

Staying on course

Implicit in the idea of feeling better about yourself is the notion that this will motivate you to stay on course.

Let’s say you start a program of physical exercise "to get fit". You won't stay fit unless you keep exercising. And chances are you'll keep exercising if you actually enjoy the exercising itself, as opposed to feeling it's something you have to do only as a means to an end.

This process is not about acquiring anything, other than habits. It's about practicing these habits, one day at a time.

Reaching out

You reach out to others out of altruism... but there is a benefit to yourself as well. Sharing your experience is not about dealing with others from a one-up position ("I know all the answers, and I have to educate others who are less fortunate than I am"). It makes you feel more connected when you to associate with other people who experience similar problems.

12 steps | higher self | stuck | habits | life purpose | life balance | self esteem | serenity | lasting change | links

The Proactive Twelve Steps provide a straightforward description of a path of personal growth that will speak to you regardless whether you are Christian, Jewish, Buddhist... or an atheist... See: Higher Power & Inner Power - Journey - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12