Read with care...content may be triggering and disturbing .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I was awake in fear and reliving the past
the flashbacks keep coming
no sleep tonight
I am so tired
I hate my abusers
I can't cry more tears there are none left
I am so tired of feeling
Let me escape
the eyes that stare at me and the voices that taunt
stop I yell but they laugh right in my face
I met my abuser tonight
it was not who I thought
it shocked me
his voice is ringing in my ears
I hear others in the background
alcohol rich laughter and loud angry voices
then I am at mums and Kevin is there
His eyes are malignant
he reeks of stale smoke and alcohol
his eyes are leering
red puffy and bloodshot
his hands are invading
I inwardly scream
Now I am at school
sitting in a toilet cubicle
stale urine stench
my abusers are there
banging on the door
whore slut mole they call out
fucking dirty slut
the words cut and inwardly I bleed
I feel so much shame
I want to die
I am on the farm
mum and dad are fighting
mum has me in her grip
her nails dig into my skin
my dad is screaming at her to let go
"she's only a kid"
her eyes are cold and full of hate
I crawl into my self
want to hide
crying silent tears
(C) Cara October 2007