seeking to be alone looking to escape

i belong nowhere not here or there

darkness be  my friend where hostile eyes are blind

and vicious tongues are absent

alone time is my friend where I can cease to exit

I live on the fringes of hell

my world is cold and

I have no safe place to be

longing to be free of this life

the streets offer little comfort

effort to breath and to greet the next day

caught in this cycle of pain

the war ground is waiting to swallow me up

the days are a nightmare

no place to run

they stalk me unrelentless in their quest

not comprehending why so hated

i must be a bad girl

punishment derseved

I ask in my prayers...

What did I do that that was so awful and bad

that I should be deserving

to be so hated and scorned

evenings I roam the streets alone

back of hotel or old church yard

now hiding from headlights sitting on stone steps

a packet of cigarettes my only companion

tears cried alone in the dark of the night

my soul crys and wounds are raw

internalised shame

ridicule plays through the taunting of my mind

there is no relief

my tomorrow will be the same as this day

as was my yesterday

(c) Cara  October 2007