Trying to find meaning
I once attempted to end my life
because I was emotionally damaged;
traumatised; wounded and in agony.
My life, its repairs and maintenance
left me poor in spirit and in heart.
Rich in spirit was hard for me.
Giving to charities is nothing unless
thought
is given also.
Somewhere it is written
blessed is he that considereth the poor.
Does this include poverty of mind and spirit;
often more devastating.
But throughout the years, I guess
I got it all wrong, coz I studied
the reflections in mirror images.
No birth before death. The other way around.
But it reminded me of a joy;
how wonderful it was to get off Horse
knee deep in the middle of a lake.
I've always wanted to be
as heavy as that water...flowing-
adapting-shaping across
every obstacle; no hinderances,
just eternal flow as light
strikes my surface,
glancing prisims of shafted sunbeams
in an entangled infinity, casting shadows
upon a mossy bank and
resting in quiet chequers
upon the glittering earth
covered in dream like shadows
splattered by solitary spray.
I suffered from humanity divorces
that surrounded me for years.
I kept saying,
Look at me..I have nothing to offer.
I am not wise.
But do know it won't get simple
until my mind does; just
embrace the great emptiness
and say over and over
I don't do divorces.