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| | (1 recommendation so far) | Message 1 of 5 in Discussion |
| | From: LittleBill (Original Message) | Sent: 4/15/2005 9:08 AM |
Today I have the sun on my back
golden fingers tease and push.
Forwards then, who am I to
dissapoint the fire god ?
At first, I’m slow
looking for momentum
my feet stuck like trees
in the tight dirt of ignorance
and just when it seems impossible
when I think I’ll remain forever statuesque
I wrench myself free
lurching into space
claiming it as my own
as freedom rushes into my face
with a flat cold slap that takes my breath.
I’m moving now, glorious, flowing
no sign of a toddler’s instability
no quaking knees or wild, veering left then right.
I am an arrow, streamlined
sharpened by experiences
of a once shitty life
from which I am escaping.
Flight beguiles me yet I have no target
it’s still too far away, but I have impetus enough.
I could fly like this forever.
©lb05
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| | From:  Zydha | Sent: 4/15/2005 2:43 PM |
I like this, lb, so full of direction (not a pun on arrow, honestly, lol) but moving so positively forward. Super last three lines to end with... Flight beguiles me yet I have no target
it’s still too far away, but I have impetus enough.
I could fly like this forever.
You been at the 'sunshine' flakes for breakfast? lol, Zed |
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Liked the feel of freedom that this poem evoked lb - I agree with Zy, those last lines are great Emma |
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good metaphor, lb, ......tho is it? Isn't an arrow stuck in the path of its linear flight? Are we likewise? Steve |
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that's a bloody good question Steven. I suppose if you believe in fate ( and I do)...then yes we are 'stuck' on our paths. Are we not predestined to move from A to Z....and no matter how many diversions we take to B C D etc...don't we invariably come back to Z ?...Whatever...the poem is more about freedom than fate...and flying, it doesn't matter where to, is far better than sinking into the marshy ground of unsatisfying complacency...or at least that is what I was trying to convey with this...if it's true or not is another thing..lol...thanks for reading and commenting Steve.
Regards
: )lb |
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