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New Poetry Pge 4 : CANDLELIT PASSIONS
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(2 recommendations so far) Message 1 of 7 in Discussion 
From: topboy  (Original Message)Sent: 10/18/2005 8:00 AM

CANDLELIT PASSIONS

 

Two people in a candlelit room,

Shadows danced and flickered around,

The shadows were dancing, as only they can,

One was a woman, one was a man,

 

Soft caresses lead to a kiss,

Shadowed hands entwined like this,

Groping at flesh, and spread out like a fan

One on the woman, one on the man,

 

A drop of a shirt, as it fell to the floor,

Then fell a blouse, would there be more,

Clothes kept on falling, from skin with a tan,

One from the woman, one from the man,

 

A kiss on the cheek, impassioned with lust,

Then a kiss on neck, and it made them feel thus,

Wrapped up in his arms, in his muscular span,

Safe with the woman, safe with the man,

 

With the candlelight burning, as his hand disappeared,

She rolled her head back, their passion now seared,

Deep into the fire, and plucked from the pan,

Heat from the woman, heat from the man,

 

He stroked her skin lightly, and kissed at her chest,

Her hands in his hair, where they then came to rest,

Floated over his features, which they started to scan,

Breath from the woman, breath from the man,

 

The two shadows merged, and they danced on the wall,

This passion not stopping, they were giving it all,

No holds were barred, and followed no plan,

All of the woman, all of the man,

 

Then came the silence, that always ensues,

That comfortable nothing, that hugging includes,

A look of contentment, for the race they just ran,

Smile on the woman, smile on the man.

 



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 Message 2 of 7 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameZydhaSent: 10/19/2005 3:52 AM
Mmnnn, nicely carried through, Topboy, without becoming too explicit (we have to keep the MSN family rating in mind, as they can delete without notice if we cross the line) but you got the moment over well.
 
The last line of each stanza effectivly gives pace to this piece, Zy 

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 Message 3 of 7 in Discussion 
From: topboySent: 10/19/2005 8:06 AM
zy this actually was written as a three line verse, and i added the all the third lines after.
 
if you want to read it how it was intended, then miss out all the third lines
 
topboy

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 Message 4 of 7 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknamecrispleavesSent: 10/31/2005 4:18 PM
An entertaining, flowing read TB

Pip

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 Message 5 of 7 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameBouncing_FluffSent: 10/31/2005 4:31 PM
Woooow! Now that is what I call hot stuff top boy! lol Great read!

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 Message 6 of 7 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameZydhaSent: 10/31/2005 6:27 PM
I have done as you suggested a couple of times since you replied and...
 
In my opinion, the third line is superfluous, Topboy, the three lined stanza had more impact and emphasises the repeated last lines with more purpose of construction.
 
I wonder why you decided to elongate each stanza...but...whichever way you leave it, I like this very much, Zy

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The number of members that recommended this message. 0 recommendations  Message 7 of 7 in Discussion 
Sent: 10/31/2005 10:54 PM
This message has been deleted due to termination of membership.

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