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New Poetry Pge 4 : Drowning Crumbs
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 Message 1 of 5 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameForestFlower5893  (Original Message)Sent: 10/29/2005 5:51 PM
'Drowning Crumbs'

You have a crumb at the corner of your mouth,
it fascinates me, my eyes are mesmerised by this sight.
Isn’t it strange how watching someone eat
can either fill you with lust
or just plain disgust.
As you speak the crumb moves up and down,
I’m irrepressibly drawn to it
it’s caught in that crevice right at the corner of your mouth.
You masticate upon a bread roll
your jaws working inside your cheeks.
A slurp of wine that leaves a purplish stain on your upper lip
and still that crumb blinks at me.
Any minute now, your eyes shall begin to droop
your shoulders sag, then stoop
face down into the minestrone
with perhaps a crouton up your right nostril
just to give that last little edge to death.


Emma


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 Message 2 of 5 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nicknamemikhail34Sent: 10/29/2005 6:29 PM
surprise - - - - - ending - good one Emma - you got me with this one
 
i was going to comment about the infamous spinach left stuck inbetween front teeth during that big toothy grin - but now - i am completely sans comment - agast - knackered - stuffed - drooling into a thousand-yard stare
 
nice work
 
thanks for sharing,
 
m the dumbstruck  

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 Message 3 of 5 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameForestFlower5893Sent: 10/29/2005 10:17 PM
Thanks Mikhail
 
A lesson to all those who don't use a napkin - beware of the minestrone - although to be accurate I should have said a noodle up his nostril and not a crouton - but somehow crouton sounded nicer(?)lol
 
Emma

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 Message 4 of 5 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameZydhaSent: 10/30/2005 12:11 AM
Aahhh...that's the 'french' in you, Emma, lol, but I agree...'noodle up his nostril' just doesn't have the same poetic 'feel' to it.
 
I read this on the beeb, but was trying to keep back from typing for a while longer.
I enjoyed reading very much, but like Mikhail, was not prepared for the last few lines...very nicely constructed, Zy

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 Message 5 of 5 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameForestFlower5893Sent: 10/30/2005 1:13 PM
Thanks Zy,
 
This was a bit of fun, I don't think even I intended the ending, it just sort of happened - funny how the mind twists and weaves.
 
Emma

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