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New Poetry Pge 6 : Compasssion for Self (Revised )
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(1 recommendation so far) Message 1 of 9 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameÃnąm_Ćarą  (Original Message)Sent: 11/3/2007 1:30 AM
Compasssion for Self
 
Completion 
something aspired too
only the real purpose
is the journey travelled.
many lose sight of their role
as a participant
playing out chosen roles
in this realm
And as we begin to notice
our own scripts
self realization
and connections are made
summoning us
to take on challenges
and to meet self
in new ways 
to contemplate and transform
owning our humanity
loving self as we are
new insights bringing blessings
opening new doorways.
 
(c) Cara November 2007


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 Message 2 of 9 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameZydhaSent: 11/3/2007 2:07 AM
I like this layout much better, Cara, there is clearer emphasis
 
when the reader has to take time to enjoy each line,
 
and still love your words, Zy

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 Message 3 of 9 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameCara_inSpiritSent: 11/3/2007 2:17 AM
Thanks Zy for rereading.
I cant believe I posted the first one lol
dont know where my head was.
Cara

Reply
 Message 4 of 9 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknamePoetess-three1Sent: 11/3/2007 2:25 AM
Hi Cara,
 
I like both versions, but I think that the revised one is much better. So much clearer. A great write!
 
Poetess
xx

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 Message 5 of 9 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameCara_inSpiritSent: 11/3/2007 5:18 AM
Poetess you are too kind
Cara

Reply
 Message 6 of 9 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname1oldarmybearSent: 11/4/2007 2:56 AM
I like the rewrite. The poem flows much easier allowing the reader to absorb each line.  Great work... bear

Reply
 Message 7 of 9 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameCara_inSpiritSent: 11/4/2007 9:03 AM
Thanks Bear for re-reading.
Cara

Reply
(1 recommendation so far) Message 8 of 9 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameVocalDixSent: 11/5/2007 2:04 PM
I like the rewrite too Cara for it flows easier to read.  Made me think of the past six years, where I reparented myself from abuse from my father, and I too played roles to be what someone wanted me to be to be loved, and lost myself.  Had to find me and learn to love me.

Reply
 Message 9 of 9 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameCara_inSpiritSent: 11/11/2007 11:55 AM
thanks Dix

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