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So.. I have an update for you all, anyone who wants to know or not, here it is:

I haven't been around due to heavy drama, RL and Online. I have seriously cut out a few members on my mom's side of the family and a few ppl I had met online. I found myself in someplace, I did not like. I was not happy. Once I deleted from my life of all these folks, a huge weight lifted from my chest, mind and heart. I actually am happy about this smart move. A very wise one. But through it all... RL and Online, I couldn't be receptive to anyone. Could not be there. My mind was too distracted and full of so much shit, I finally had to tell a few to back the fuck off. One of the ppl I cut out of my life, I thought was a friend. Instead he was not, but truth be told, if he hadn't gotten to this point he did, I would still be talking to him. He judged me many times, so many I finally told him, I am done with this friendship for good. I wiped him off all my messagers, e-mails and anything else he was able to contact me with. I have a myspace, no big thing, myspace actually sucks. I am about ready to get rid of it. Ok.. so anyhow... this wasn't the only person to get in my face with shit, family members did. I as well have a sister who is comminted due to her metal illness. My folks are so beside themselves, they have forgotten about myself and my brother. They refuse to step up for themselves, as they stay out in space (my brother said that one). I am sick of the bull I have had to deal with. Then on top of it all, I wasn't getting the right support I needed, when it came to my son. His school started their shit, I ended it right away. Though things seem cool right now, they are not. I get alot of fucking grief from my sister. She has breast cancer (the her-2-gene). Means she will reproduce cancer for the rest of her life, no matter what is done, can't be stopped. A medication they had her on after the surgeries and shit, gave her a serious mental breakdown. Well.. come to find out, she was on the verge of it anyhow. Seems simple, all this I am sure.. but it is so not. I have had no erges to RP, write, or chat with anyone online. No calls to friends.. nothing. I don't go out. If I do anything, I am out with my son for a few hours, shopping, movies maybe... out to eat.. sort of. I just needed to clear my mind. I still am far from finished. And really needed support, I am getting it now. I found out who my true friends were. One person I am really glad not to be talking too, was that guy. He was such a negative person, rageful and all. I mean, it wasn't all that bad, till the end when he went too far beyond judging and accusing me of shit he had no right too. I deal with this with family members too... is why I hate drama so much. Drama is definitely not my cup of tea and will never in my life tolerate anything like I did. Is why I made the bitchin' board too in this group. Probably where I should have put this.. nah.... here is ok. Mostly an update.

A long ass one indeed. So.. once I have more time for me.. I will be aorund more. I have alot to catch up on. And some groups to keep up with. And many friends I miss ALOT. so anyone need anything... you how to find me. Anyone can add me to their messengers. I have msn and yahoo as well aol/aim. LadyofDarkness70 (yahoo) PanthraVampyre (yahoo), [email protected] (msn), forget aol/aim.. I never use it. But the darkness name on yahoo, I usually have it up, ghosting all the time. My msn, I hardly use, but add anyhow if you all like. Ok.. I am done rambling.

Love to you all!!

Ok sounds like my life back a few years ago ok here is my bit of advice for you tell Your folks wake the fuck up and smell the coffee, tell Your sister shit girl light up a Joint and definitely in-hale it will help with both problems of her's and now for You, ut-oh LOL now comes the fun Part just try to enjoy Yourself a little hon sounds like You need it bad, take a day off and You and Your Son go play hooky and do something fun.

And if anyone ask's tell them, the Devil made You Do it LOL and in an RP sense You won't be lying LOL.

I did tell them to wake up, as well my sister. I have made big changes, many hate it, I love it. I feel so much better for all I chopped out of my life for good. My son and I are more at ease about everything. I am more positive about myself and son than ever. I just had to air, hoping many in here would respond on their opinions... tha more the merry. I needed such support for a while there, I found it within myself and now am more than ready to move on and start my life anew. So.. thanks!! And please know I enjoy you here. Don't leave, your never getting banned. I only ban the real losers or ones who have done such enough to be banned. Having a voice is great, an opinion is greater, but standing up for yourself is the greatest. So, anyhow.. I miss my rping. I am definitely adding a new charrie. Hope many join in the soon to be SL. There will be more info soon. Just have things IRL to keep on track before I am back on here full time. Anything you ever wish to offer to help with, say so... your voice is loud and blunt, we need that.

hi cass hey sounds like my life only you have done the house cleaning i am yet to do mine but like you i hate when people who are worse off than myself critisize me for shit wespecially when they are not all it them selves as lopng as we do the best we can for our kids and ourselves that is all that matters to me anyways but hey if you ever need someone to talk to your friend lady of death is hear for you i just love to play counceelor it makes me feel needed and it seems to all i do for everyone else yet noone offers it to me that is in my real life but unless it is real help i dont listen as with you i am through with hearing the negative thoughts but my offer of help stands so dont be shy luv LHDxx

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