FROM: David, Admin Supervisor
TO: All Employees
DATE: 19th Novermber 2008
RE: Our GA Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that our traditional Christmas Staff Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Steak House.
There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small local band playing traditional carols...
please feel free to sing along if you know the words, and don't be surprised if the Regional Manager
shows up dressed as Santa Claus! The Christmas tree will be lit at 1.00 pm.
Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over £5.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets in these days of the credit crunch.
This gathering is only for employees! The Branch Manager will make a special announcement at the Party.
Merry Christmas to you and your Family.
David
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: David, Admin Supervisor
TO: All Employees
DATE: 20th November 2008
RE: Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our 3 Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our ' Holiday Party'.
The same policy applies to any other employees who are non Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung.
We will have a CD of Pop music for your enjoyment.
Similarly we do not intend to decorate the office to avoid offence to our non Christians and Jehovah witnesses.
Sorry! I had not realised that Chistmas was considered by some to be a Pagan Festival !
Anyway, we can't have Christmas lights in the office, as Health and Safety have now banned them.
Happy now?
Happy Festival to you and your family.
David
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
FROM; David, Admin Supervisor
TO: All Employees
DATE: 27th November 2008
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table...you didn't sign your name...
I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, 'AA Only', you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!!
How am I supposed to handle this? Any suggestions? Somebody?
Anybody?
Forget about the exchange of presents!
No gifts will be allowed since the Social Club feel that £5.00 is too much money for our lower paid workers and Management believe £5.00 is a little too cheap and will reflect badly on our salary structure.
It has been suggested that the money we spend on cards is immoral and not ecologically friendly - instead we ought to consider giving the equivilant amount of cash to a charity.
A charity box has now been placed in the canteen for such purpose.
The Social committee have therefore decided that any GIVING OF PRESENTS OR CARDS will be frowned upon.
David
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: David Admin Supervisor
TO: All Employees
DATE: 2nd December 2008
RE: Our Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan,
which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours.
So there goes our party!
No! I can't yet tell you to what charity we will be donating our money to ...hopefully to a good cause !
A suggestion box has now been placed next to the Charity box - We welcome any suggestions.
We can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs, perhaps the Steak House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything up for you to take home in a little tinfoil doggy bag.
Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets, Gays are allowed to sit with each other.
However, Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table.
Let me know, in strictest confidence if you've not come out of the closet yet, and intend to do so at the party!
The Admin team will arrange for a creche to look after children of our single Mothers (or Fathers) if you are unable to find a babysitter.
One of us is shortly going on a course in child care and we hope that our Police clearance will arrive on time...
Yes, in answer to an anonamous enquiry - there will be flower arrangements for the gay men's table too.
To the person asking permission to cross dress - no cross dressing allowed.
We will have comfortable cushions to place on the seats for short people.
Low fat food will be available for those on a diet... I'm afraid we can't give you a list on the number of calories each course contains...
We cannot control the salt used in the food and can only suggest those people with hypertension taste the food first.
There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics;
Gluten free food for our Coeliacs and Lactose free Cream for the Plum Pudding, for those intolerents among us...
The restaurant cannot supply 'No Sugar' puddings. Sorry again!
Smokers will be pleased to know that I have arranged a heated area out back by the rubbish bins.
Sorry yet again, I can't arrange overnight accomodation, or transport home for those who intend to imbibe too much...
Have I missed anyone out?
David
............................................................................................
FROM: David - Admin Supervisor
TO: All F***ing Employees
DATE: 14th December 2008
RE: The F****ing Holiday Party.
Bollocks to all you Vegetarians! I've had it with you people !!!
We're going to keep this party at the Steak House whether you like it or not,
You can sit quietly at the table furthest from the 'grill of death', as you so quaintly put it,
You'll get your f***ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes if you so insist...
But you know tomatoes have feelings too!
Just like me!!
They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream.
I'm hearing them scream right NOW!
They keep me awake at night!
I hope you all have a truly rotten holiday, drink yourselves into a stupor!
Drive if you want to..or drink, drive or die in the attempt....
What more do you lot want from me ?
I'm trying my bloody best to keep you all happy !
Fat chance!
David
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
type=text/javascript>
hasEML = false;
</SCRIPT> type=text/javascript>
</SCRIPT> type=text/javascript>
</SCRIPT>
<FORM name=showMessageForm action=showMessage;_ylt=AvFkBcKibs4YCVaxnFCQTGhjk70X?mid=1_579225_AD4lvs4AAYARSRiNnQNUYFkHZ0I&fid=Inbox&sort=date&order=down&startMid=0&.rand=1378450644&da=0 method=post> <INPUT class=inputbutton title="Search the Web" type=submit value="Search the Web"> </FORM>
type=text/javascript>
gLaunchProfile.stop("T5");
</SCRIPT> type=text/javascript>
</SCRIPT> type=text/javascript>
function fallBack() {
var msgBody = document.getElementById("message1378450644");
if (msgBody) {
document.getElementById("top_move_select1378450644").style.visibility = document.getElementById("bottom_move_select1378450644").style.visibility = msgBody.style.overflow = msgBody.style.visibility = "visible";
}
var showFolderForm = document.getElementById("showFolderForm");
if (showFolderForm) {
showFolderForm.className += " show";
}
var composeArea = document.getElementById("composeArea");
if (composeArea) {
composeArea.style.display = document.getElementById("bccid").style.display = "block";
document.getElementById("hideBcc").style.display = "none";
document.getElementById("insert_address").className = "nojs";
}
}
if (typeof YAHOO == "undefined" || typeof YAHOO.mc == "undefined") {
if (window.addEventListener) {
window.addEventListener("load", fallBack, false);
} else if (window.attachEvent) {
window.attachEvent("onload", fallBack);
} else {
window.onload = fallBack;
}
}
</SCRIPT> type=text/javascript>
YAHOO.util.Event.on("flag0", "click", YAHOO.mc.flag.flagMsg);
YAHOO.util.Event.on('encode_select1378450644', "change", function() {
document.changeEncForm1378450644.submit();
});
YAHOO.util.Event.on("domainkeys", "click", function(e) {
YAHOO.util.Event.preventDefault(e);
window.open(YAHOO.util.Event.getTarget(e).href, 'remote', 'width=640,height=480,top=100,left=100,resizable=yes');
});
YAHOO.mc.flagKey = {
FLAG_TITLE : 'Clear flag',
UNFLAG_TITLE : 'Flag this message'
};
var frmWarnMsg = 'Warning! You are about to send information to someone other than Yahoo! If you do not want anyone outside of Yahoo! to have this information, click \"Cancel\" now.';
frmWarnMsg += '\n' + 'Remember: Yahoo! will NEVER ask you for your password in an unsolicited phone call or an unsolicited email.';
var pwdWarnShown = 'false';
var pwdWarnMsg = 'Warning! You are about to enter a password in a form that will not be sent to Yahoo!.';
pwdWarnMsg += '\n' + 'Remember: Yahoo! will NEVER ask you for your password in an unsolicited phone call or an unsolicited email.';
var lnkWarnMsg = 'Warning! It appears that you are about to access a website that has non-standard web address format.';
lnkWarnMsg += ' ' + 'Such sites may contain harmful entities such as viruses.';
lnkWarnMsg += ' ' + 'We recommend you use extreme caution.';
var theMainWindow = {
showFormWarning: function(msgFrm) {
return confirm(frmWarnMsg);
},
showPasswordWarning: function(msgFrm) {
if (pwdWarnShown == 'false') {
pwdWarnShown = 'true';
alert(pwdWarnMsg);
}
},
showLinkWarning: function(msgFrm) {
return confirm(lnkWarnMsg);
}
};
YAHOO.util.Event.on("printIcon", "click", function(e) {
YAHOO.util.Event.preventDefault(e);
var pWin = window.open(YAHOO.util.Event.getTarget(e).href, "Print",
"menubar=1,resizable=1,scrollbars=yes,dependent=yes,width=800,height=600");
pWin.focus();
});
YAHOO.mc.shortcuts.init();
YAHOO.util.Event.on(["forward_top1378450644", "forward_bottom1378450644"], "click", forwardAsAttachment);
function forwardAsAttachment(e) {
if (YAHOO.mc.shortcuts.ctrlKey) {
var elTarget = YAHOO.util.Event.getTarget(e);
createElement("input", "fA", "1", elTarget.form);
}
}
YAHOO.mc.classicScOptions = "http://us.f535.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Preferences?.rand=1378450644#yahoo_shortcuts";
YAHOO.mc.shortcutsUrl = "http://mail.yimg.com/us.js.yimg.com/lib/lw/ysc_csc_ymailm_3.1.5.js";
gLaunchProfile.start("SCRenderTime");
YAHOO.util.Event.on(window, "load", function () {
window.setTimeout(function() {
YAHOO.ShortcutsExt = YAHOO.ShortcutsExt || {};
YAHOO.ShortcutsExt.contentReady = true;
var n = document.createElement('script');
n.src = YAHOO.mc.shortcutsUrl;
document.getElementsByTagName("head")[0].appendChild(n);
}, 0);
});
gLaunchProfile.stop("SCRenderTime");
</SCRIPT>
type=text/javascript>
</SCRIPT>
Free Forum Hosting
Important Announcement
First 
