Karma.
 �?Written; 06.28.07.
 �?Song; "Unforgiven" by Metallica.
 �?Mood; Annoyed and betrayed.

It's one thing, to sit there and assume that someone is a friend. And as you watch three years go by, the closer you get with this person, the more you talk, the better you become friends, thats when it starts to sink in that the two of you have that one thing that no one can tear apart. With me, with trusting, it's hard. I don't trust a lot of people, and if I do happen to trust you, don't take it for granted. That means you're something special -- at least to me. You're someone special -- at least to me. I don't let a lot of people in, I've been betrayed my entire life, it's like second nature. So I put my guard up. I put up a sheild to protect myself. The instant I feel like that guard is slipping, the moment I see that the person I feel I can trust starts to betray that, that's when it ends and I stop. And until they earn my trust back, thats the farthest it'll go.

I've learned the hard way to not trust people. Especially females. A lot of people think I'm tom-boyish or even skanky just because most of my friends are male. It has nothing to do with that. It isn't a sexual based thing at all. It's because I find myself able to trust a guy more then a girl. Guys aren't catty ass, attention seeking, drama-starting, coniving little bitches. They don't like drama. And, no offense to my guy friends out there -- but why do you think a lot of them run when the kid rolls around? Okay, that's just because their punks and not ready to be a father. But once a woman starts showing that she's getting insecure in the relationship, nagging, bitching, crying about everything. Throwing around the accusations and acting like a baby. Bringing all the drama and convinced that every girl her man talks to is the girl he's having an affair with. It's not because they are, it's because females are dramatic. Call it hormones, call it PMS, call it whatever the fuck you want; but even without the rag, it's constant bitching, bickering and cat-fights. It's like bitches have nothing better to do, then run off at the mouth about shit, and once shit hits the fan...where are the bitches at? Yeah, they run. They run like little pussies. I'm done with that shit.

Three years I stuck around and listened as she bitched about everything under the sun. Three years I helped her out. Be it, a character, a poser, an idea, a storyline, a layout, a banner. Whatever. I helped her. When she was upset that she had "gotten screwed over" who did she run to? Me! Who fucking helped her? Me. When she needed help with some new character, storyline or idea, and no one else wanted to give her the time of fucking day, who took time out of her busy schedule to lend a helping hand? Me! And why?! Because I'm a friend and that is what friends do. I didn't bitch about it, I never said "you owe me" and I never said "I will if you do something for me". I never asked for fucking favors in return. Why? Because a real friend doesn't do that. I was a real friend. For three mother-fucking years I stuck it out with this bitch, and she betrays me. Granted, it was once...but once is all it takes. Block me all you want, the fact still remains; at the end of the day...after you chat it up with the people you think are your friends...the people you think will be there for you like I was...the people you run and confide in, when they fuck you over, when they betray you. When they do to you what you fucking did to me, you'll know that it was karma. When you learn how it feels to lose a friend, someone you thought would be there through thick and thin, when you put three years of a friendship like you did with ours, in the garbage, you don't forgive as easily. And when you get in my position, when you get hurt, betrayed and fucking turned on like I was, I won't be there to wipe your tears, to tell you "it'll be okay", to listen to you bitch and cry for days and days. I won't be there, period. And why?! Because you choose to fuck me over. That, that is indeed unforgivable.

You'll learn, though....karma is a fucking bitch, but guess what....SO AM I!