Lola Star : It's time to go shopping bitches..no not just your regular shopping spree. I'm going shopping to get myself some hot new wrestling gear and maybe some new clothes..I just thought that since my opponents were not going to show up for their match..i'd rather enjoy the victory myself and what better to do than some shopping? Someone in the background shouts "But Matlock just did a promo" Lola Star : Oh yeah..Matlock just did a little rattie promo that I thought was so pathetic and weak..he kept stealing my disses..I mean.. C'MON MAN! GET ORIGINAL. That whole Akmed is a fat ass deal..that was mine..Tanika Thomas and her boyfriend..that was my disses..geez..
Lola gets inside a limo just has just arrived for her. Inside the limo is another woman who she payed to help her pick out her clothes. Lola gets into the limo and it drives off. Lola Star : Hello sexy bitch. How are you? Woman : Excuse me. She pushes the woman out of the way and heads towards the driver seat checking her lipstick in the mirror. She then sits back down. Lola Star : Whatever..So..Matt Matlock has decided to show up for this match..it's about time someone did. I was sitting around waiting for atleast one of my opponents to grow a nutsack..or atleast half a nutsack and show up so that I don't have to go into that ring and pick up the victory without a.. Her cell phone rings once more. Lola Star : wuddup homie?..no i'm shopping for goodies..nothing much really just some new wrestling gear..my opponents didn't show yet..oh wait Mattlock did show up..sorry..i just didn't realize that..hmm maybe he's too small of a rat for me to give a fuck..yeah..well not really..so..i'm in the middle of doing a promo..okay..bye. Lola drops the cell phone into her bag. Lola Star : Sorry...now back to what I was saying..Matlock..you got your story all twisted bitch..I'm not porn star..I never was a porn star. Just because I know Jenna Jameson doesn't mean I have to be one of her...So Matt..before you go all bitch on me..make sure you get your facts straight. You really don't know me...when have I ever mentioned anything about being a porn star..or posing naked on the cover of playboy..? I could..and I want to one day..but that doesn't concern what i'm going to do to you in the ring..Matt keep underestimating me all you want..thats exactly what I want you to go..keep your chin up..keep your fucking chin up and walk into that match with all the confidence and all the broken bones you have in your body just so that I can break you like a stick. Matt..I agree with you..porn stars don't really make it into the wrestling business..thats why Mandy Manson never defended her bytch title...but then again Mole rats don't make it either. So Matty poo..you better get back into that little hole you came from..and make sure you stick long skinny little tail between your legs..because i'd rather you don't embarrase yourself in front of a million people. Lola puts one of her legs over the other. Lola Star : Now as far as I know...my other opponents in the match don't plan on showing..hmm..maybe it's because Akmed is too busy fucking that Temptest storm..chick?... Someone in the background shouts "But Temptest Storm is a guy." Lola Star : Oh..then Akmed swings that way...oh god that even more sad than it actually sounded. Well he's too much of a diva to actually show up for his match..maybe he's just trying to show them that.."hey, i'm too good for this type of match..give me one with the pie." Well Akmed..the pie will lick the cream out of you..ooh god that was sick..but moving on..Akmed..keep fucking blaze inferno...and Blaze just don't bring him into my locker room or i'd kill you. Lola takes a deep breath. Lola Star : Last but not least we have Tanika Thomas who's fuckign Chris at the moment..his dick is stuck in her mouth preventing her from talking..which in my opinion is a good thing..the more she shuts her fugly little mouth..the better it is for us..keep up the good work Chris.. The limo stops. Lola is closes her lap top and puts it inside a bag. She had just finished watching the latest Akmed promo..err..the first Akmed promo he made for R & R. She gets out of the limo with the help of her driver. Lola Star: Well well well..what do you know..the fat bastard finally decided to show up. Akmed akmed akmed..just like Flatcock..you've got your whole story twisted..please do me a favour and swab Matlock's cum out of your ears so you can hear me out..I have been in a ring before..duhh..why do you think they'd sign me here if I never was in a ring before..that means Paris Hilton could come into BUD and beat the shit out of you..Akmed..I've been training my ass out..i'm only 21..No I haven't been in a "public" ring before..but I have been in a ring..just that YOU never saw me wrestle in one ever..and thats the best thing about it. You see Akmed..i'mn ot really a threat to you..and i'm pleased about that...think all you want fatty..but soon i'll be tossing you around the ring like you were a baloon. You know..it doesn't come as much of a suprise to me that you consider flatcock as your biggest challenge in this match..ever sicne you and Blaze Inferno hooked up she stole half your brain cells for herself. Now thats a bad little virgin..Akmed..i'm not going to buy wrestling gear..i'm going to buy NEW wrestling gear. This being my first match in BUD I want to look presentable..while you on the other hand NEVER look presentable. Matt Matlock's ICON title win was a fluke..just like your franchise championhip win..guess that puts the two of you in one boat..oh wait..if we ever put you and flatcock in one boat..you'd sink first hand while Matlock will die trying to swim. Hmm..you and Matlock make quiet the couple there, don't you? Too bad Tonika..Tonkia..Tanika..won't be able to make it to the match..she decided not to show up..winnign her first match was too much for her..she didn't want to risk losing this one..or maybe she was just afraid of Matlock's legendary streak.. ( Lola rolls her eyes ) Or maybe Akmed was too hot for her to handle ( Lola laughs ) Akmed..since you think that you and Matlock are most likely to win this match..why don't the two of you go on about how you're going to continue growing your "i'm just about to mature" nutsacks and start focusing on each other instead of me and making yourselves look bad..so maybe I could concentrate on my mega bitch plan I have for all three of ya'll at the end of the match... Woman: C'mon Lola..it's getting late. Lola Star : and oh..I'mn ot really going to buy "wrestling gear"..I was just trying to trick ya'll...instead i'm buying a few items for my big plan at the end..sweet dreams assholes. Lola walks towards the first store. It's a pet store. What? A pet store? Why is she in a pet store? Lola Star : Now you're probably wondering why i'm at a pet store..I mean..what could Lola possibly find at a pet store to shock Matlock and Akmed..there are many things..like a pack of wolfs..now I was actually unable to get real wolfs so I thought what better than a pack of angry little pitbulls to accompany me down to the ring..how many..say about 12? hmm.. I just came over here to get my pitbulls a few accessories..you know..mark them up so that they look different..Not only will those twelve pitbulls accompany me to my match but they will be running aroudn the ring loose so that anyone who falls out of the ring..except for me that is..will be fed to the dogs..or I might just bring a few of them into the ring..you know..for the heck of it..so tell me now..which one of you boys are afraid of dogs? Lola heads towards one of the cages where she sees a little white mouse. She opens the cage and picks the mouse out. Lola Star: I like him! I want him.. She takes the mouse and starts to pet him. Lola Star : Isn't thsi the sweetest thing you've ever seen in your life? I love him so much..aww such a cutie little pie..Does he have a name? Store owner: No he's a newborn and you can give him any name you want. Lola Star : I'd like to name him flatcock..do you know why? Because he partially reminds me of you Matlock..Yes..he's really really cute..something you're definatley not..but then again..he is a little helpless mouse. Now Shawna over here is helping me with my chuwahwah's..oops..I mean pitbulls..to help them go on a little diet so that they don't put on weight after their big feast which will be at the pay-per-view..you see..I just thought it wasn't fair that Seifer and OBM get cool and crazy matches and we get normal matches..so I decided to spice it up a little. Hope you guys don't mind. Anyways..I really need to find a few bits of cheese and a mouse trap..would you happen to have any of those at hand? Lola takes the little package from the owner. She drops it into the bag. Lola Star : We all know what that mouse trap is for sweetie..it's for Matlock..so just incase he gets smart with me I can use one of these to fuck him up. Akmed..you're like the Muhamed Hassan on BUD...I doubt you'd ever shut up..I heard you're last promo and you just proved me right the first time..you just won't stop whinning..Ohh..I'm Akmed..I deserve to be in a title shot match..just like I said before..you think you don't deserve this match..Akmed..you deserve much better than fighting two rookies and a flatcock at the Pay-per-view..you need to be out there fightign Seifer and OBM in the main event..but guess what fucker? You're whinning isn't going to buy you shit in BUD..Akmed..you try to amke yourself seem important in BUD..but to me..you're just a jobber waiting to be crushed..and i'm going to fullfil my will come the pay per view match we have. I have something very evil in mind that I want to do to you..and smashing my head through a brick of concrete will make no difference. I'm sure flatening Matlock by jumping over him won't make a difference because he is already flat..Now Akmed..shit it and do what you normally do in BUD..come to the ring..and get all the beatings you could get..what good is a man if he's dead huh? Lola walks away from the shop. Lola Star : Now next we're going to find something appropriate for my dear Matlock..These mousetraps weren't enough..and they're not for him either..so Matlock..what pleases you? What would you like. A t-shirt maybe? Lola smirks. Lola Star : Which reminds me...I picked up this little shirt for you..actually it's for Akmed..it's more his size than yours..but you guys are a couple so it goes out to the both of you...I have a little picture of Akmed fitting into the shirt..why don't you just take a look at the billboard? The camera's focus on the billboard that has a picture of Akmed in a black t-shirt and the words " Mattlock's pimp" written across it. The cameras then come back to Lola Star who is now walking into the next store which happens to be a condom shop. She stops and turns towards the camera at arriving the shop. Lola Star : So do you like the shirt or what? I made it myself...anyways we're moving on to the next store which apparently is a condom shop..now you know who i'm talking about here don't you? Someone related to the use of condoms..not Matlock..he doesn't use them because he doesn't have nuts..not Akmed..no one will ever bang him..but Tanika who often has unprotected sex with Chris Styles..Over here to the female condoms. Lola picks out a bunch. She holds them up into the camera. Lola Star : Dear..these are for you..use them! we don't want you getting pregnant one day and bringing another Chris Styles into the world..another Mr. Popularity..if you do..we will all kill you..you are going to be the most hated person in the world for doing something as stupid as that..now you're little boyfriend Chris has the oppoturnity to run his mouth as much as he can..he runs it and runs it and runs it all day long...and two have two of them would be too much. So Tanika..use these wisely..at it's not just this..here Lola picks out some pills. Lola Star : These pills..they will also help if you're too shy to reach up your cunt and shove that huge chunk of protection..which I doubt you are..but still..I find it much easier to take the birth conrtol pills. There are many other things if you don't like swallowing things..which you love to do. Well Tanika..thats not all I'm getting for you.. Lola heads over to the male section of the store. She picks up a few male condoms and holds it up, Lola Star : No Tanika these are not for playing around with..these are for Chris..you know..he needs protection too..well..they are strawberry flavoured..and I hope you like strawberries because you're doing to be sucking a lot of those soon..and oh..I made sure to bring xtra xtra small sizes so that it would fit perfectly on Chris.. The condoms are then taken from her towards the counter by Shawna. Lola follows Shawna to the counter. Lola Star : It's so sad that my opponents are too shy to make proper use of all these gifts..so i'm going to send them a few people to ensure they make good use of these gifts..but i'm not really done with shopping dear..i still have to get something for Akmed. Lola and Shawna head towards the next store..a store with a big poster of Dr. Phil plasted at the very front. Lola Star : We have finally arrived at our last and final store..The "I wanna lose weight" store. Now Akmed..people call you to 5845793048593758375000 pound high flyer..but truely..it's impossible for someont to fly like that and not get hurt when landing..so I..Lola Star is going to help you lose weight..I bought you some slim fast..just add milk to the thing..and you're done..you like sugar don't you? Well it's a hundred percent sweet but low in calories and fats..isn't that just great? Also I bought you some laxatives that will help you..you know..some diet coke..and a gaging finger..thats right..it's a little coat of plastic with some kind of salt that will help you gag..so that you can throw up what you eat..and int hat way..you won't eat anything!..and you will lose weight.. Lola puts the items on the counter as Shawna pays for them. Lola Star : Well guys..I hope you all really like your presents..they will be sent to you..AFTER the match so that you guys don't get spoiled. |