The week prior to this saw Rebecca Rancid form a new alliance with two old friends in Jacob Mitchell and Marcus Bain. Jacob went on to completely dominate the chump known as Kevin Sane while Rebecca Rancid and Jade got a pretty easy victory over two nobodies since Zarek Lyle peaced out long before he had to. Sadly, this week, it was pretty much the same for our Bex. But who’s to say she shouldn’t have expected it? This was an indy fed and new “talent�?was stepping in on a daily basis, attempting to make a name for themselves, four of them in a match with her no less. Unfortunately for the aforementioned, Rebecca was going to etch her superiority upon them quite easily and shatter their dreams of ever making it big. Let’s take a look at them, shall we? Scott Addams was the only legit superstar worth looking at as competition but the rest seemed like jokes. The prince of cats? Seriously? Then of course came the filler talent also known as The Krock, Tim Stone and the likes but there was one name that stood out like a green hat with an orange bill - Camille Westwood.
“Camille WESTWOOD?�?/FONT> repeated Rebecca Rancid in complete and utter shock.
The Cause of Death, also known as Omen for you uneducated retards, and The Cause of Fear were locked away in the penthouse suite frequented by Rebecca in New York as they gazed over her laptop. They were looking at the profile of an androgynous woman who was seemingly new to UWWE, the bitch wasn’t even on the roster yet. Clearly not important enough.
“Oh here it is!�?exclaimed Rebecca while scrolling down to read her rather brief biography. “Related to Vivienne Westwood, “related�? no specification because it’s bullshit. I already have my suspicions about her.�?/FONT>
“Who the hell is Vivienne Westwood anyways?�?inquired the perplexed Bain and who’d blame him? Westwood wasn’t as famous as the Versace name. Vivienne Westwood is a British designer who excelled in punk/new wave styles, much like Betsy Johnson. Versace is incomparable to Vivienne Westwood simply because their styles differ to no extent. Versace is renowned for it’s sultry chic look and is a brand name whilst Vivienne Westwood is not. Vivienne Westwood’s designs couldn’t hold a candle to the brilliance that is Christian Dior, while on the contrary, John Galliano’s (designer for Dior) Fall/Winter 2008 collection was blatantly a rip off of Versace’s Versus for Fall/Winter of 2004. But being the nimrod this Camille chick was, she isn’t able to grasp that as SHE wouldn’t know fashion if Anna Wintour slapped her in the face.
“She’s a designer, someone whom this Camille idiot claims to be related to,�?explained Rebecca. “Her son founded Agent Provocateur, the lingerie brand. Christina Aguilera loves that.�?/FONT>
This made Marcus smirk as he was quite familiar with scantily clad women. Rebecca on the other hand, was already picking up her blackberry and calling England, Westwood’s residence specifically. Oh yes, she had briefly met the designer when in London, being a fashion mogul and everything. Nicolas Ghesquiere used her as a muse, not to mention she was the inspiration for Miss Dior Cherie and modeled for Roberto Cavalli. Karl Lagerfeld also LOVED Rebecca Rancid more than Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan.
“Viv!�?she chirped, making sure the phone was on speaker so everyone, including Camille would hear. “How are you?�?/FONT>
“Becky, I’m wonderful. What do you need?�?/FONT>
“Firstly, I LOVED your Anglomania collection, I bought a few outfits for my assistant,�?stated Rebecca, Marcus pretending to be interested in the background. “But what bothered me today was that I found a woman claiming to be related to you. Her name is Camel Toe Westwood.�?/FONT>
“Come again?�?/FONT>
“Camille Westwood,�?repeated Rebecca while rolling her bright blue eyes. “Dark Brown, almost black hair with brown eyes. Basically, she’s a poor man’s Kim Kardashian in clothes that barely fit her and she’s claiming to be a family member of yours. Can you confirm that? I’ve already emailed you a picture of her.�?/FONT>
There is a moment of silence, a rather long moment until Vivienne assure us she hasn’t hung up yet with a simple “Uhh.�?/FONT>
“Well, is she?�?Rebecca prompts.
“Not at all,�?/FONT> replies Vivienne Westwood.
“Are you sure?�?/FONT> asked Rebecca, who was on the verge of laughing her ass off as she and Marcus Bain waited for a response. “Perhaps she married Benjamin and took his name? You know the trolls these days and how they function.�?/FONT>
“I doubt that. Benjamin would never marry someone as ugly as she!�?exclaims Vivienne Westwood from the other end. “She’s got a hook for a nose.�?/FONT>
Already bursting out in laughter, neither Marcus nor Rebecca can answer that. But perhaps the fact that they laughed simply says it all. This newbie was a LIAR who lied about her relations to get ahead in life. From the picture she provided, you could tell that Vivienne Westwood would never suggest something as ugly and unflattering as what she threw on in her sleep that morning.
“Thank you for confirming, Vivienne. I guess now Camel Toe is simply a joke without her last name backing her up,�?said Rebecca, who then conveniently hangs up and continues. “Not that it was THAT famous anyways.�?/FONT>
Tossing the phone aside, for now, Rebecca turns her attention towards her friend Marcus Bain and the main event set for the week.
“What an easy match this is going to be,�?stated Bain, and he was stating a fact here. The current champions beat Kevin Sane and Drew Stevenson, earning them the belts and those two should have never been allowed to set the standard for the champions in the first place. “The world’s biggest Asshole?�?/FONT>
“Syck?�?Rebecca asked sarcastically.
“Probably. How are we supposed to take the two of them seriously? It’s a fact we’re coming out on top this week. Say hello to your new tag champions.�?
“So are you going to meet up with Jake soon?�?asked Rebecca, checking for new messages on her blackberry. “I have an appointment with Donatella.�?/FONT>
“Yes,�?Omen said casually. “I’m sure we’re all going to come out winners again this week, friend.�?/FONT>
They smirk, they laugh, they prove they’re better than you by simply doing that.
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