June24th 2004 [Avril assault: A lesson for the girls] //Britney and her freinds are at a bowling alley. She watches them and keeps quite. She hasn't said a word for a whole hour. People always act like they know her but they don't. She not this outrageous tramp on T.V althought she may dress like one. She's not an annoying chick that makes a fuss. She's not this bubbly teeny bopper as people expect her to be. She's just Britney Spears. She dangles her legs and looks down at her shoes. They are blue nikes. She has a blue jersey on and blue shorts. Her hair is left down. She gets up and walks towards her freind. She stops her for a while and begins to talk.//

//Britney//: Do you think maybe we should have some real fun? I mean this is really boring me? So what do you say? We've got eggs and we've got cars. Lets go get Columbus and shawn and we can go at it. C'mon. I promise it will be fun. Trust me we wont get in trouble. We will just do it and when she comes at the window run away. So you in?

//Kelly//: Britney, thats not nice. Oh god your so evil. What happened to you? You've changed so much. You know what why don't you go back to where you came from. Yes, i'm talking Louisiana. Your mom's such a nice person and your nothing like her Brit. You've changed so much since your career ending. Your music career.

//Britney//: Don't mention that again! I'm not a pop singer anymore. I have a new job and it involves kicking ass. Something I could do to that bitch when I get there. After all she has said about me to ruin my career. She doesn't respect me anymore. Did she ever? No she's just a spoiled ass bitch who comes from a catholic family. She used to sing country music in the choir and now she thinks she's all badass rock. We let me tell you some thing Kelly, that bitch helped in the making of my life miserable and now she's going to pay with her own blood. So c'mon Kelly. If you dn't come the guys will. What she going to do? Sue us? I can manage that. I'm a fucking millionaire.

//Kelly nods and then walks towards the door. Britney smirks. She has just got her freind to do something she wants. She goes and gets the guys. They all take their seats in the car. Britney leans back content. Columbus drives them to this little house. They all get out of the car taking a rotten egg basket in their hand. Wow. What the hell is Britney going to do throw it at the window. Britney takes an egg and immediatley chucks it at the window. It cracks open and stains the glass. After that all of them start throwing eggs as fast as theyc an. Someone starts to scream. The noise ois coming from inside the house. A girl say about 19 comes to the front door. She has blonde hair with black streaks under. The Christina Aguilera ripped off hair style. Se wears this t-shirt that says boys are dumb and these baggy pants with rocker bracelets. Guess who's here? It's Avril Lavigne. She almost gets a heart attack when she sees Britney. Looks like the two of them finally met. The fued between Britney Spears and Avril Lavigne has been going on ever since she started her poser career. Now Avril wants a lot of publicity so she disses Britney saying that she is a hoe and that she walks around the street with a bra. Talk about hipocrite. Avril was seen showing off her bra three times in an interview. She was seen smooching with her butt fucking ugly boyfreind Jessie. Bet they must have screwed a few times more than expected. Avril...Innocent? I don't think so. I don't think she's a virgin. I don't even think she female. I mean have you checked out her crotch it looks like she has stuck a fruit in there to make it look like she has a big one. Her shoulders are really broad and her her nose is big and manly. Who is that girl trying to fool. In a recent interview she flashed her black t-shirt and her black pants and said that she'd look better than Britney if she dressed like a tramp. I guess not after taking a look at her new video don't tell me or this time whatever the fuck its called.  Britney walks up to Avril conering her. Avril is shaking with fear. She slaps Avril really hard. Avril turns around and looks up at her. She has a red hand mark on her face. She holds her cheek and screams. "you bitch!". She pushes Britney down and starts beating on her. Britney throws Avril away. She pulls Avril's hair up and starts hitting her. She kcks her in the face and as she falls down stomps her face. She beats the living hell out of Avril and then picks her up. Her freinds get a rope and tie Avrils hands together. They do the same with her legs and throw her into the back seat of the car. Avrils mother comes rushing out. She runs towards Britney askign for Avril. Britney slaps Avrils mother and pushes her down. She then gets into the back seat with Avril and starts torturing her. Avrils mother gets up and starts running towards the car. Britney takes out her pager and cell phone. She left a tape recorder in Avrils house and she has carried a pager that connects to that. When all fails Mrs. Lavigne goes to the kitchen. She picks up a phone and dials 911.//

//Mrs.Lavigne// (In a cranky voice) Hello 911. My daughter has just been abducted. She was blind folded and taken into a car. It was Britney Spears. Britney stole my baby. Aww help me please please please. I'm so scared right now. I mean Britney could burn her or maybe cut her into pieces while she's still alive. My daughter is very precious. Even the whole world knows that.

//Cop//: And exactly what is your daughters name? (Takes a bite out of his doughnut.)

//Mrs. Lavigne//: Avril...Avril Lavigne. Don't you hear her songs. Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated. Lifes like this you fall and you crawl...Haven't you heard of my daughter?

//Cop//: (To the other cops in the room) Guys check this out. Some phoney is trying to tell us that Britney Spears captured Avril Lavigne and that she is going to cut her into peices while still alive. Isn't that the fucnniest thing you've heard? (They all laugh until tears pour out of their eyes. The cop the lifts the phone up.) I'm sorry Mrs. Lavigne but thats not possible. Now Britney Spears is a very nice young lady and she would never do such a terrible thing to you. Your daughter is just playing tricks on you. Maybe Britney is taking her out for a burger. I mean I would want a burger right now. So don't panic lady Avril will be back soon. ok? (Mrs. Lavigne puts the phone down. The cop looks at the other cops seriously. They then start cracking up loudly adn pasing doughnuts around.)

//In the car Britney laughs her ass off. She pulls Avril hair out and holds it in her face. Avril looks terrified.//

//Britney//: Avril Lavigne. I like your hair. Where did you do it? Oh wait let me guess your slut whore mom did it for you at home because your all poor to go waste money. Well let me tell ya doll. You look just like Christina Aguilera. No! I'm just fucking with you. You'd never look like Christina Aguilera even if the world were upside down. Your a skank Avril lets face it. You try to diss me saying I walk around the street in a bra? Well let me tell you something Avril. You don't and I know why. (Pulls avril's shirt out.) Thats why. Your a surfboard chested whore. Your flat chested girl. Just face it and you don't have to get jealous of me for that. See people may think that I have silicone but who gives a fucking fuck what they think. They can just shove their thoughts up their candy asses because meh...well I really couldn't give a shit less because for one I know that my breats are real and if nobody belives me so what? But when all that shit gets involvoed in my career ruining I get really really pissed off. Avril you are the main obstacle that keeps me from my singing career and you will pay. You said that you don't have respect for me? Well I don't need your fucking respect. Your nothing Avril. Your nothing to me. Your just a peice of dumb shit that lies on the road. Trust me Avril you don't want to mess with me. Oh wait you already did. You fucked me up good Avril and now its my turn. It's an eye for an eye bitch. I burst when my dreams are crushed. Hey look like we are reching UWE. C'mon Avril I thought you were tough? What happened now? Your scared of me? Damn staright you are. I'm older than you avril i'm 22. Your 19. Yeah your playing with the big girls now. Now worry Av Av, I wont hurt you. We just want to give you a makeover and maybe some booboo's but hey. Wounds make you stronger so don't complain. C'mon in.