//Peter shoves penis into the sharpener and starts laughing like the idiot he always is. Lois trys to stop him from acting this stupid. Meg and Bryan are watching T.V and Chris is eating chips. Aww what a cute family! A man who can really take care of this family must be that lucky to have it. Although I must say he looks like he's pregnant with triplets. The scene then continues to a window sill where a baby in yellow and red with a football shaped head sits down and stares at the world before his insolent eyes. Kinda like Arnold from Hey Arnold but the baby is only one years old with little hair on his head. He then walks away from the window and sits on the couch with his dog and sister. They are all watching Jerry Springer. A teenage girl takes her top off and starts flashing into the camera. Then there's this really obnoxious nerdy guy humping the camera man. He jumps up and down saying "Put it in! Put it in!". It seems that a deformed pregnant chick has a big problem with her boyfreind cheating on her. For some reason she keeps showing her left tit to the audience. The guy talks in this 'I'm from alabama' accent. It seems that he cheated on her for the toothless hillbilly chick he was raised with. The audience boo's him over and over again. Finally he gets up and takes all his clothes off. She rips her shirt off and the whole audience does the same. Jerry Springer then comes on T.V and closes the show. Meg puts the T.V off and walks away. She goes up to her room. Bryan hisses under his breath "That bitch". He takes the remote ans turns the T.V set on. He is now watching baywatch. The baby gets up from the couch and walks towards Meg's room. He peeks in and sees her on the computer. She is typing really fast. Nature calls and Meg leaves for the washroom. After she shuts the door the baby walks in. He opens her closet and throws everything out. Tada! he comes out with her diary. He hears footsteps coming from the bathroom. Sweat trembles down his head. He looks around at the mess he just made. He quickly gathers it together and throws it into her closet. In a second he is out of there with the pink book in his hand. Meg gets back in her room and on her computer. She looks suspicious at first but then continues with her work. The baby then walks over to his room. He climbs on the cradle and starts to suck his thumb with one hand on the diary. His grib is preety firm because wheather he is sleeping or not he knows he has to protect the diary. His mother comes in and looks at him. So much love in her eyes. It seems like she would almost give her life for him. She smiles due to the smile on his face. He then starts snoring really loudly. She suddenlt picks him up and with that he drops Meg's diary. He opens his eyes due to such a startled touch. She gives hima nd kiss and he starts spitting. She then laughs and he looks disgusted.//
//Lois//: Who's the little baby I love so much Stewie?
//Stewie//: Shut up Lois! You just desturbed me from my sleep. I was dreaming about world domination where I take over George W. Bush's country, wife and daughters. After that I will also succeed in eating his suck up John cartier! The prime minister of the Canadians. No longer will Canad and america be separtae. No longer will they be called what they are. They shall now be pronouced S.T.E.W. Which stands for Stewie Took Everyone's Wifes. And it all got squished because of your greusome kisses. I'm going to leave now! I'm leaving this Goddamn house because I have nothing but a bitchy four eyed sister, an ugly brother, a dirty mother and a pregnant father! The only thing that's ok is that stupid dog. (Stewie leaves and then comes back) I forgot the book. The book that will help me take over the world again!
//With that said Stewie leaves home. His parents aren't a bit concerned and neither are his siblings. He asks Bryan if he can come with. Stewie calls a cab with his suitcases packed and leaves.//
[//A bum on the street?//]
//Bryan//: It seems today that all you see is violence in movies and sex on Tv.But, Where are those good ol' fashion values ... on which we used to rely?Lucky theres a Family Guy!Lucky theres a man who, positively can do all the thing that make us ...Laugh and cry!He's a Family Guuuuuuuuuuuuy! ..Oh I miss that fucking show ohh. Why did I have to leave with you Stewie?
//Stewie//: Bryan will you shut the fuck up and help me find some food.(a long pause) Its not like I chose to leave the house. Well I did but I was smoking Ganja then I never knew what I was doing and if I go back there Lois will call me big sissy boy.
//Gets back to digging from a trash can. Finds a rotten banana and eats it. Bryan sulks down. He seems to be sitting there like a fat dof just watching poor old stewie dig. Stewie keeps diggin but finds nothing. He then crys for his mother and Bryan consoles him. He wakes up ans goes back to digging for food. Bryan sits there again dull as ever. The breeze is blowing and a newspaper flys and hits Bryans face. He takes it off and his eyes rome throught it. He suddenly widens his eyes when he sees this article.//
//Bryan//: Stewie! Stewie look at this. (Steiw turns and comes running towards him) There is a job vacancy. It says helpers needed at the barber shop.
//Stewie//: So? You think i'm going to work there? and while cleaning up I will get all these hair balls in my mouth. Yuck! No Bryan i'm not looking for those type of jobs. (looks into the paper once more.)
//Bryan//: Well what are you going to do then? Wrestle?
//Stewie//: WRESTLE! that'd be great. Where where. Destructive Wrestling Entertainment! Good. I can now show of my strenght and after i'm not the T.V everyone will come to know of the real Steward Griffin. The STEW! And finally I will take over the world! YEAH! Your smart Bryan. Now lets get out of here. Lets find the goddamn place.(With that Stewie and Bryan run away)
 |
[//DWE Arena//]// A red flashy, shiney car drives into the DWE parking lot. The camera's take a nice veiw of it. It's probably one of the most expensive car in the parking lot right now. Look at it go. Oh oops. I guess the camera had to really zoom into it because it looks irregularly small compared to the cars there. Yes my freinds it little Stewie's toy car. Suddenlt Stewie ans Bryan come running out of nowhere. It seems like they have raided to toy store. Stewie has a toy gun in his hand and Bryan a remote for their toy car. The rest of the stuff is being carried by a fat man with a black mask on. He is a hobo. Stewie and Bryan continue running hoping the fat man will follow them but he takes the other way and runs away with their toys. Stewie trys to run after him but Bryan stops him. They then get into the arena but aren't even caugt by the security guards because unfortunately for them the guards could see the two. Stewie walks around with his dog looking for the owners office. He's sees a name plate stating "Chris Rampage:Owner of DWE" He smailes saying 'Heres the man we are looking for.' Rampage is in his office doing some paper work when suddenly a young boy and his dog push the door open and jump. The boy has a toy gun in his hand and he points it at Rampage.//
//Stewie//: Puts your hands in the air and shake your self so that we can get your loose change!
//Rampage smiles and gets out of his chair. He walks up to Stewie and pets him on the head. He then smiles at the dof sitting next to him. He picks Stewie up and begins to shout in his face.//
//Rampage//: Listen kid! You better get out of here because if one of these monsters find you they are going to crush your boned and make you bread.
//Stewie//: Yeah yeah whatever. I'm just here to tell you that I want a job in this place. And no not a clerk. I mean a professional wrestler. I don't know how to use a computer so I personally came here to give you my resume orally. You may thing "What the hell is this little kid talking about. He is so small" but Mr. Rampage just put me down and i'll show you what I can do. (Rampage puts Stewie down). Thank you. Now watch closely as I demonstraight the Stewie Japanesse Chop.
//Stewie walk over to bryan and starts doing some karate moves. He then bites Bryans finger and spins around with both his hands placed like an airplane. Bryan is chopped like 7 pancakes. He looks at Stewie with his eyes wide open. Rampage has an impressed look on his face. Stewie dusts his hands.//
//Rampage//: Well that was great kid. You got a job here. Now leave my office and go to your room.
//Stewie//: Thank you Mr. Rampage. By the way the names Steward Griffin. Stewie. Bryan you may reassemble yourself in my locker oom.
//Stewie picks up the peices of Bryan and walks out of Chris's office. He walks towards a door and kicks in. There in front of his eyes he sees a candle, a T.V set and a cradle. He screams in exictement. A cradle! Stewie loves cradles///
[//The debut//] //The lights flicker Red and yellow as a coin spinning is heard throughtout the arena. Suddenly "I don't know what you heard about me" hits the public annoucement speakers as "P.I.M.P" by 50 mutha fuckin Cent plays. Pyro's blast in the ring and come rapidly towards the ramp. Suddenly after all the smoke dies down a little kid say about 4'5 inches tall, dressed in yellow and red walks out from behind the curtains. He looks up at the fans in amazement. He then tries to reach their hands by jumping up and down but fails and falls on his ass instead. He gets up holding his ass. He then continues towards the ring and climbs the steps with this hands. He slides under the lowest turnbuckle and stands up strainght. He once again gives a look around the arena. This time he looks down upon the fans. He walks towards the middle of the ring and to the audiences suprise holds up his middle finger. The music starts to die down slowly as Stewie gets a microphone from Lillian Garcia.//
//Stewie//: Ouch! my ass hurts! If any of you self proclaimed "Monsters" back there happened to have some ass-cream. Feel free to bring it to the ring now. Uh hum uh hum. I am Stewie Griffin and this is my first day on the job. I'll tell you how I cam to be but before I just want you all to know that I came here leaving my family behind because I was sick and tired of being related to a bitchy mother whom I tried killing so many times but failed. An ugly brother a dorky sister and you all see my fat pregnant father peta! on T.V. So ladies and Gentlemen I am here now to tell you my whole life story so you won't judge me by my age. One fine day I opened my eyes and saw that I was in a really really dark place. There were a couple of other people who looked like me. They had long tails attachted to their rounded body's with a pointed tip. We were all swiming in this wet moisture around in a sausage shaped house. One fine day there was this really bright light. All of us started to swim towards it. I was a pro at swiming so I reached there first. When I got there the opening closed and it was all dark again. I huffed and puffed like the big bad wolf and swam foward somehow. Never before has anyone gone there. Suddenly all these others started to follow me. I got so annoyed. Why the fuck does everyone have to always do what I do? I mean. I'm like the leader but there are downfalls because I don't get enought time to myself. I swam as fast as I could to get away from them but they kept following me. Suddenly I came to this point where there was a big white dead end in my face. I punch in with my tail and it cracked. Immeadiatley I swam in and it closed. Wow. All these goodies inside. There was choclate, clothes and a...drivers seat! I was in a space ship! I started to drive killing all the things in front of me. I have to find a way home! I can't stay here any longer. I'll die of hunger. All those choclates are over. I just have to get home. And zoom!! here we go. I slide my way towards this very narrow opening and pop i'm out. This dumb stupidified mans hand comes out of nowhere and slaps me hard. I wack him really hard for that.And there I was. The evl monster looked at me. She was smiling. Next to her was the fat man. You know what. Me and the undertaker have something in common. We both have fat ugly pregnant fathers. So that was my story. Now lets look at some people around here.
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