In the Clans of old, the Celtic Priest or Priestess performed a "marriage" ceremony called Handfasting. The name comes from part of the ritual where the Shaman binds the hands of the couple together for the duration of the ritual. Some believe the phrase "giving one's hand in marriage" started during this ceremony.

But here in the days of old, Handfasting was not necessarily made for life. Celtic tradition stated that a couple would remain in the bond for nine years. At which time the couple may chose to renew their vows, but only if they both agree to another nine year commitment.
Although this was the common tradition, there were variations across the many clans of the green isle. A couple may chose to:
Join for three years and renew their vows only if both agree.
Join for six years and renew their commitment only if both agree.
Join for a nine month trial. If after the trial they both agree, the couple bonds for three years. At the end of this time, the couple can decide to renew again, but this time for a life-time commitment.
Join for 1 year and a day trial. At the end of this period the couple can decide to renew for a life-time.
Join for three years trial. At the end of this time, the couple can decide to renew for a life-time commitment.
The variation in time frames had a lot to do with the successful fertility of the couple. The bond was designed for procreation, in addition to caring and love. Sometimes the procreation was all it was designed for. If the couple continued to be childless, one or the other partner had the right to bow out of the union and seek fertility else where.

Handfasting Today
Today these old traditions are not recognized by the "legal" side of our society. Many couples chose to enter into a state of Handfasting, through a ritual conducted by a High Priest or Priestess as an act of spiritual marriage. Going through the trial periods under the eyes of the Divine spirit instead of the eyes of the law. The year and a day is the most common trial period, culminating in an official or legalized marriage ceremony.

Many gay and lesbian couples are seeking Handfasting as an alternative union, since only 1 state in the union recognizes a same sex bond as a legal marriage.

There are pros and cons to both side of this approach, so if this is an idea that you find might meet your desires, think of all sides and talk it out.

 

Handfasting Ritual
Today there is no set pattern or process to a Handfasting ritual. Instead of giving a detailed description of an example ritual, let me change the format for this posting to possible ideas that can be added to a Handfasting ceremony.

Who can conduct or facilitate the ritual?
High Priest/Priestess, Shaman/Shamanka, a Spiritual Leader of any sort.
The Couple themselves
The Parents or Guardians of the couple.

A Handfasting Ritual isn't much different than what you've seen in traditional weddings. Here are some ideas and processes you could incorporate.

   

Candle lighting.

3 candles are used. Two small tappers and one larger pillar candle. This process is done before the exchange of rings. The couple individually states their intentions (these are not vows), this is the time to express your love, the reasons you want to join together and be a bonded partnership. After the intention is stated, the person lights his/her candle and places it into a holder on either side of the pillar. After the exchange of rings, the couple picks up their individual taper and together they light the pillar. Showing the bond of their commitment igniting the light of the large soul. The soul/spirit of their union.

Rope binding.

A rope made of natural fibers (cotton, vines, a garland of flowers for instance), measured 3 feet in length. As the couple begins the statement of their promise to each other, their wrists are bound together by the rope. They remain tied during the exchange of rings and the final kiss. They are presented to the gathering as a bonded couple, and then they can be 'freed'.

Exchange Of Rings.

This is more of a modern tradition worked into an old pagan practice. Rings were not always exchanged during a marriage. The cost of such luxuries was better spent on caring for the family. Today it is a common practice and can easily be added into a binding ceremony.

Exchange Of Life.

A more common pagan practice. The exchange of life is an exchange of blood. The couple is ceremoniously cut or pricked and they exchange and intertwine their blood to become one life.

Some couples do this in combination with the Candle lighting. After the main pillar is lit, the blood is drawn from the ring finger of the left hand of both by a prick, usually with the tip of an athame. The blood is then dripped together onto the flame of the pillar. Allowing the union of blood to seep into the wax and become permanently joined. Gods willing, the dripping of blood does not extinguish the flame - which is a sign of good fortune. If it does, it's a sign that this could be a stormy union which will need work from both sides to succeed.

Another method is to fill two small pendant type vials with the blood of your mate. And exchange those pendants to be worn by your partner. Always having a piece of their life with you at all times. Once again the prick or small cut is made with an athame. The vials are chosen by each partner (they are rarely identical). The groom gives his vial, hung on a chain, to his bride who holds it as he fills it with his life force. When complete, the vial is sealed and then he places the chain around her neck. The same process occurs for the bride as she gives the gift of her life to him. (This is one of my favorite rituals to add to a Handfasting, but many couples are squeamish about the exchange of blood. - So it's important to note, these ideas are solely up to you as a couple. Don't feel as though you have to do any of this.)

Then there's the exchange of blood from body to body. Making a small ritualistic cut on the tip of the middle finger (yes middle finger - which symbolizes the sexual union of the couple) on the left hand , again with a ritual athame, and joining those cuts together as an exchange of blood from one partner to the other and vice versa.

Broom jumping.

A ceremonial broom is prepared, typically by the hand maidens. The broom does not have to be a certain length. It can be a traditional broom from any hardware store, a special crafted broom made of natural materials, or even a small broom intended solely as an ornament.
When the couple steps before the Shaman, the broom is ceremoniously placed behind them, setting a symbol for a doorway or wall that separates the couple from the world outside. The bristles are placed behind the groom, the hilt behind the bride. This sets a balance of masculine/feminine energy with the couple. The bristles being feminine, the hilt being masculine.

This is now their spiritual space and no one may cross into it without permission. After the ritual when the couple is ready to be presented to the gathering and world, they turn to the broom and 'hop' over it's wall, walking into public as bonded couple.

Another tradition has the groom raising the broom from the hilt and standing it on the bristles, allowing his bride to walk through the doorway he will not protect. He follows her and once on the other side, gives her the broom as a gift. She accepts the broom as a gesture to care for their home (more than just a physical building, in this case, home is the family, their union and so on).

Staff n Broom

Concept is the same as broom jumping. But instead of just 1 symbol, 2 are used. And once again, the size doesn't matter. The broom for her, as a sign of nurturing for the family, and the staff for him as a sign of guiding the way. Remember these gestures are based on the old days, when a woman's job was in the house and the man's job was guiding the family and providing.

Sword n Broom

This is the one I actually prefer to conduct. And size does matter. Both items must be the same length (which includes the bristles and hilt) and at a minimum at least 3 feet long. The broom is prepared by the grooms family, the sword by the brides. This is an exchange of ideas and energies from one family to the other as a means of blessing the union.

The broom is laid behind the couple just like the broom jumping version. However it is laid at an angle with the bristles pointing toward the gathering. The sword is placed over top of the broom also at an angle. With the point of the blade pointing toward the gathering.

When the couple has been joined, the bride raises the sword and offers it to the groom as a sign of her willingness to protect their union and her new family. The groom accepts the sword as a sign of his willingness to work with her in that protection, leading the fight if needs be.

He then raises the broom from the hilt and presents it to her as a symbol of his willingness to nurture their union and care for their family. She accepts the broom as her willingness to worth with him in that care, taking the lead if needs be.

The exchange is completed by unbinding the wrists during the exchange of rings, and seemlessly moving the rope to bind the broom and sword together to show they are willing to take on both duties and share responsibilities as needed throughout their union. In many cases, I have gone to a couples house after this type of exchange, and seen the ceremonial items hung on the wall in an X pattern, still tied by the ceremonial rope.

 

The History of Handfasting

 

Handfasting at one time was the only way that couples could be engaged and/or get married because the church let the civil government of the period take care of these matters.  In the British Isles, Handfasting was the old pagan ritual of marriage and it remained legal in Scotland all the way up to 1939, even after Lord Harwicke’s Act of 1753 declaring that marriages in England were legal only if performed by a clergyman.  After Lord Harwicke’s Act, the Scottish border town, Gretna Green became a mecca for eloping couples from England who fled there to perform their own Handfastings.  In those times, the couple themselves performed the Handfasting before witnesses.  It was also used in Scotland for the engagement period of a year and a day before a wedding was proved.

The very word handfasting got it's origin in the wedding custom of tying the bride and groom's hands (actually, wrists) together. In some versions, this is only done for as long as the ceremony lasts, but in others, the cord is not untied until the marriage is physically consummated.

Handfasting is the marriage rite used toady by many Heathens, neo-Pagans and Wiccans.  The term itself comes from the custom of shaking hands over a contract.

 It is a custom steeped in old tradition.

In most Pagan traditions today it may mean a  non-state registered wedding or one in which a marriage license is filed.  For some it is a year and a day, renewable "so long as love shall last" and for others a commitment to be together through many lives.

There are probably as many rituals for this as there are people who have joined themselves together.

The hands are generally bound with a cord as part of the ritual.

One custom is that while facing each other, the couple placed their right hands together and then their left hands together to form an infinity symbol while a cord is tied around their hands in a knot.  Another custom is that the man and woman place their right hands only together while a cord is used to tie a knot around their wrists.

The ritual itself might have been led by a respected non-church affiliate such as a Chieftain, Leader, Priest, Priestess, Shaman, or Elder of the community while the couple took turns reciting their vows of promise to be engaged for a year and a day in front of witnesses.  On the last day of “the year and a day promise�?they would then make a promise for infinity repeating their promise to each again.   A cord is tied in a knot around their hand while the ritual takes place.  This is where the term “tie the knot came from�?when referring to getting engaged or married today.

In day of old, records were not kept who got engaged, married, had kids, and died.  Today the Sacraments of the church has the responsibility of taking care of these things.  Before the church took over these duties, these things were overseen by the whole community and therefore were set in law by their witnessing what happened between the couple making the promise.

If a handfasting was performed with the two left hands together without the tying of the knot, as was the custom of rich and influential German nobility, it meant that the woman was a mistress and would not be able to claim the name, inheritance, property, etc. of the real wife and was only in the protection of the man.  But her offspring would be taken care of as legal heirs second in line to the man's legal and first wife.   Having lots of children was once the only form of "Social Security" in one's old age. The previous combinations were all considered legal and binding in an engagement or marriage except for the “left hand ritual.�?/SPAN>

The Handfasting gesture seems to have been derived from one of the ancient Indo-European images of male-female conjunction, the infinity sign, whose twin circles represented the sun (female) and the moon (male) or in some of the southern Mediterranean traditions it was sun (male) and moon (female).

Two-handed Handfasting still constituted a fully legal marriage throughout Europe whether the blessing of the church was sought or not.  Clergymen, of course, recommended that newlyweds attend church as soon as possible after the signing of the contract and the Handfasting.  Marriage is now one the Seven Sacraments that had been ignored by the church for centuries.  Only the very wealthy and affluent could afford church marriages.  Handfastings were under the jurisdiction of common law rather than canon law.  In the 16^th century in Switzerland, if couples were seen in public drinking together they could be considered married.