They Aren't Like Us

An Essay by Justine Turner

Indigos don't respond to guilt tactics common to earlier family and social structures. They don't react well to coercion, "talking down", punishment, "time-outs", "no recess", or any of the normal social norms teachers or families have used as a means of inflicting discipline. They don't respond to the school principal (the big boss) like we did, or even smackings like we did. There are very few measures they don't lash back at and refuse to get in line with. First, they don't get back into line. And second, there is no line!

What Indigos do respond to is respect - respect for who they are as wise individuals and as children, and respect for their problems, which are just as overwhelming to them as they are to us. They respond to respect for their choices and their power. They make good decisions, with help, and they struggle mightily to have their power make a difference and be important. They are important. That alone demands respect from us.

I no longer see teaching as a place for numbers and rules and structure. It's no longer a place where success can be measured solely on test scores or multiplication tables. What's the point? Indigos have tools and resources we never dreamed of (well, some of us did!), and in the future, they will have even more tools that we haven't dreamed of yet. What they need is to experience the joy of learning, exploring; and reading about history, math ecology, and earth and physical sciences so they can create their own dreams.

They need to learn math, absolutely, but they need to learn it in a way that encourages them to play with shapes and patterns and twists and formulas - to use it as a basic knowledge and then leave the checkbook balancing, once they understand it, to the computer. They need to know how to read for the joy of reading and to see things in a different way.

I think teaching can br, now more than ever, a place for raising human beings. There's an opportunity for every teacher, for 183 days a year at most, to make a difference in these children's lives - so we can all create a better world. School is a place where these kids can understand that they won't always have to be squished under adults who do not see them for who they are. Their power must come from the inside. School me be where they fall apart, and school can be a place where someone will care enough to listen, understand, tell stories, laugh, and help put them back together. It's a place where these kids can see that they make a difference not only to others, but also to themselves. This is what they respond to.

These children speak with a great deal of wisdom. They struggle with insecurity, with growing up, with powerlessness, with learned helplessness. They struggle with being different, with being a boy or a girl, with having friends or not, or being good at sports or not. There's nothing that they speak of that we can't understand if we listen. There's nothing their feeling that we haven't felt sometime inour lives. That seems to be what they need and respond to now - the fact that we feel what they feel, which means that they're not alone. It is then that they can learn. It is then that they put forth the effort to see what we have to offer as adults, since we've taken the interest in what they have to offer.

That's the point where we teachers can fit in adjectives and addition, zoology and timezones. We have the profoundly exquisite chance at the juncture to teach subjects such as history in a way that enlightens them about the past, as well as giving them choices for the future. We can teach science that tells them about the workings of the earth and her special places, and we can teach about government and the history of religious differences so these kids can see alternate ways of thinking about things. This may look like teaching for their future, but it's really for ours.

Watch these Indigos with smaller children. Watch how they nurture and touch. Watch how they guide and tell and show. Laugh to yourself when you see your words come out of their mouths. Listen to them whine that the little ones don't follow directions! Smile, and know you're being blessed. Know that they have heard you and have appreciated what you said enough to use it. Pray that you have said it well. Laugh with them when you point out how you feel and how they feel. Hurt when something hurtful comes out, and understand that not everyone in their lives is their in peace. Watch their power as they turn a little brother or sister away from a mistake they made, like being "bad" in school or joining a gang. It's sometimes only through our young people that even younger kids can be supported ans saved. Watch them with other adults. It doesn't matter whether that adult is a construction worker or a firefighter or a principal. What matters is the respect they show to all people. We must teach what respect looks like and feels like. These kids need to know what to do to get it and how to give it.

They know they will take over. They know they will have big choices, and they're scared. To the last of them, they want to do their best, whether they're a baseball star or a scientist. They want to make a difference, to be special, and to be heard. They want to do the right thing - every one of them.

They won't always do the right thing. Some are lost - very lost. Some will have many years of feeling like a misfit before finding themselves. Some have the power right now, and the challenge will be to use it well. Not all will, of course. Some have it so quietly that it's almost a secret. Others will go down in flames. But every one of them should have the chance to be guided by us in a way that encourages them to be their best. This helps them see themselves "making it" so they can continue their own dreams of greatness.

What may look to us like children writing about pipe dreams and fantasies are really young adults trying to find their way and finding their power. When you listen, listen for that. When you talk, talk to them of greatness, and speak with intelligence. When you structure, do so cleanly, honestly, and with boundaries that they understand and that you stick to. That is respect. That they understand. That they will respond to.

*~*Essay was found in the book Indigo Celebration by Lee Carroll & Jan Tober*~*