Charge of the Bunny Goddess
With Ostara, Easter and April Fool's Day all happening in a less than fortnight span, we offer something light hearted from our archives. The following was first presented by Phaedra Bonewits at All Souls Welcoming Congregation in Kernersville, NC in 1996.
Bunny Charge:
Now listen to the words of the Great Mommy, who was of old also called among rabbits Mopsy, Flopsy, Cottontail and a whole bunch of other names. At mine warrens, the kids at Looney Tunes made neat sacrifice!
Whenever ye have need of anything, once in the month, and better it be when the moon is full, then shall ye bunch up and hide, and adore the spirit of me whom am Queen of all Bunnies. There shall ye bunch, ye who are interested in higher education, but haven't yet figured it out; to these will I teach even things I don't know. And ye shall be free from Elmer Fudd, and as a sign ye be really horny, ye shall hop and twitch, eat carrots and fool around, all for me. For mine is big fun, and mine also is even bigger fun, for my law is playtime.
Keep pure your lettuce patch, ever weed it, let slugs and aphids not turn you aside; for mine is the secret door that opens onto Never-Never Land, and the Cauldron of Somebody-or-other, which is even better than chocolate milk. I am the Gracious Bunny, who gives the gift of joy unto the tummy of rabbits. Upon earth, I know all sorts of stuff, and beyond death, you get to play. Nor do I demand sacrifice; for look! I am the Mommy of all living, so I've already got plenty.
Hear ye the words of the Star Bunny, she whose tushy is a cottonball, and whose ears are very long, and whose body is quite cuddly. I am the beauty of the green carrot tops, and the white parsnips among the weeds, and the splashing in the water, and the desire of the nymphomaniac. Call unto thy soul, "Hey, soul! Get up and come here or you don't get any dessert!"
I'm in charge, and before my whiskers, beloved of Big Bunnies and little hares, let thine innermost cute self have lots of good times. Let my worship be within the tummy that grumbles; for look! All acts of love and pleasure are my rituals. Therefore party! party! party! But don't drink and drive. And thou who thinkest to theek me, know thy theeking ith in vain unleth thou knoweth the mythtery: I don't know either. But I'm in charge anyway and don't you forget it. |
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