Hush Little Pagan Baby

Hush little baby don't you squall
Momma's gonna buy you a crystal ball
And if you still can't see beyond
Momma's gonna buy you a magic wand
And if that wand don't change your fate
Momma's gonna teach you to levitate
And if the astral makes you sick,
Momma's gonna buy you an incense stick
And if that patchouli smells rank
Momma's gonna buy you a sensory
deprivation tank
And if that tank don't float your bones
Momma's gonna buy you some some
precious stones
And if those gems don't ease your heart
Momma's gonna buy you a natal chart
And if your planets go berserk
Momma's gonna buy you some bodywork
And if your aura still needs kneading
Momma's gonna buy you a past life reading
And if your destiny stays hid
Momma's gonna buy you a pyramid
And if your chakras still feel stressed
Momma's gonna take you on a vision quest
And if power animals don't come to charm ya
Sorry, kid, it's just your karma.

-- Author Unknown