The Comfort of Ritual
Cerridwen Iris Shea ©2008
Comfort. In the past few years, our definition of the word has changed. "Comfort" used to be most often found on the physical plane--300-thread-count sheets, designer clothes, things, things, things. In the aftermath of 9/11, the tsunami, the London bombings, and Hurricane Katrina, comfort relies far more on emotional solace than physical.
We want and heed to know that we matter. Not just to our immediate circle, but in the larger context of the world. Ritual helps us find that place, that comfort, in ways that can last longer than the actual ritual itself. And in ways that allow us to take the comfort we achieve in ritual and enhance the world around us, thereby increasing the comfort of those around us.
The act of performing a ritual means that one takes specific and familiar steps in a considered sequence to achieve a desired result. Rituals gain meaning through repetition. Rituals that evoke specific emotions or feelings start triggering these feelings as the ritual starts, giving us a sense of security and place in the world. While one does not want the movements and words to ever become simple "muscle memory," the repetition of rites allows them to gain power over a period of time. No matter how many times the ritual is performed, rendering it mindfully is of vital importance to its success. The comfort found in the repetition adds to the mindfulness. The feeling of pleasure, serenity, and familiarity in the rite feeds its power.
Does that mean that you must craft a set of rituals and never deviate? Of course not. Because our lives and our spirits are in constant evolution, our rituals must grow and change along with them. Although that sounds like a contradiction of the previous paragraphs, it's not.
Traditions are set up to support rituals. Rituals fit in with specific paths. Even an eclectic practitioner has specific ways to cast a circle, call in the elements, and perform ritual. Experimenting with different types of ritual will allow you to find what works best for you. In your private, personal ritual work, you don't need to be defined by anyone else's ordinances. Even if you work with a group, you can create specific and personal rituals for your private work that answer to nothing but your own spirit.
In order to find what works for you, you need to read everything you possibly can, and experiment. Finding rituals that give you comfort takes time. There will besome ceremonies you try that won't feel right. They won't give you that inner sense of knowing that means you've found the ritual best matched to your spirit. The knowing starts in your gut, at the solar plexus chakra, and it radiates both up and down, filling you. It's an experience you can read about a hundred times, but it won't make any sense until you experience it.
Once you experience it, you'll want to write out the details of the ritual (hopefully, you've taken notes during all your explorations), so you can create it. Be aware that you will never recreate exactly that first experience. Because rituals are live, each one is unique, even if all the same steps are taken. You will find the rhythm of the right ritual, but nothing ever matches, exactly, the first time a particular ritual touches your soul. But within the context of the familiar, you will continue to make new discoveries. That's yet another comfort of ritual--a safe place in which to explore your spiritual goals.
Creating a book of rituals for esbats, sabbats, and specific needs will help in your growth. It gives you a touchstone, a place of sanctuary, and a foundation for your future work. As the world grows and changes, and as you grow and change, you will create more rituals to meet specific needs.
Creating rituals specific to a tragedy--to encompass humanity, healing, and, most importantly, actions for positive change so this type of aftermath never happens again in the wake of any other disaster--is vital to our survival as a species. The rituals created will continue to grow and evolve and still be relevant by the time the article is published, and beyond. Finding comfort in ritual gives us the strength and courage to continue with our lives. Living in a state of fear and anger after a tragedy will eat you alive. You need to seek respite, to recharge, to step back and mull over creative and positive solutions, to do your part in making sure the tragedy is not repeated. By creating and performing specific rituals and garnering the comfort derived from them, you regain your sense of purpose and your strength. Then and only then can you take the action needed to create positive change.
Ritual gives you the time and place to connect specifically with the spirits that work most closely with you. It's not about kowtowing to them or begging them. It's about interaction, an exchange of energy. You are perfectly within your rights to question the fates, to question the angels, to ask for explanations. Ritual gives you a place of sanctuary to explore the myriad feelings that tangle you up and can trip you up--whether it's a tragedy on a global scale, or a tragedy on a personal one. And the personal pains are just as real and just as relevant as the global ones. Rituals don't need to be elaborate. The way you light a candle,the way you prepare a specific type of tea that you drink before meditation, the way you prepare yourself in the morning to meet the day--all of these actions can be ritualized, and utilized in a way to give you comfort. Comfort, in the spiritual sense, creates strength, and only with humane strength can we save and improve our planet. It is also a place to express gratitude, and give thanks for what does work, and to promote joy and love. The energy flows both ways. It's not about payment to spirit, it's about partnership with spirit.
The firmer your foundation, the more comfort you give; and receive in the ritual process, the more strength you gain, and the more positive impact you can have on the world.
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