Beautifully written moonie,

 

blossom, moonie has hit the nail on the head here. There are people in this world who look for your Achilles' heal, the soft spot in the dam, so they can eat away at it and erode your self confidence, self esteem. They thrive on victimizing others, filling them with self doubt and fear. As moonie said, you are feeling weakened by and I quote, "all this alpha crap." And that is all that is is, crap.

 

I have known these people long enough to have seen them morph from one school of thought to another, from craft to alphas, always having some catch phrase to describe themselves. They destroy all that they touch and trust me on this, these people are insane, they have no clue what this lifestyle is, they do not live it, every word from their mouth, finger tips is a flat out lie.

 

I know my words are harsh here, but I have seen the trail of destruction they have left in their wake. They have hurt countless people with all their bullshit analysis. They talk of writing a book, LOL, trust me it aint' gonna' happen. 

 

 

In the future if someone, anyone, fills you with self doubt, dismiss them and push them to the curb. Surround yourself with only people who fill you with joy,self awareness and excitement for your self and your journey through life. Only people who are hurting will attempt to hurt another. If it feels in any way wrong, politely excuse yourself and go on.

 

Try and put all of this in the past and understand, you are not what any one ever tells you that you are, you are what you tell yourself you are. As the old saying from the 60's states, today is the first day in the rest of my life. Let the past go, and begin a new journey today. Take your next step in your submisison with a open heart. Do not allow self doubt instilled within you by others dictate the next step you take with in your submission. Z