Two quick points.  Part of the high that became a part of every nicotine addict's life was nicotine activating the body's fight or flight defenses, providing us with a shot of  adrenaline.   During recovery if we get angry or pick fights with those around us we can get the missing  adrenaline flowing again.  You've come far and invested much.  Be patient with yourself.  It won't be long before you start falling in love with the deepest sense of mental quiet and calm that you've known since becoming addicted to a central nervous system stimulant.

 

As for pretending to be a non-smoker, go for it.  If you cross a desert or ocean there's always a middle, a no-man's-land where where you don't feel any closer to one side than the other.   A natural part of this amazing journey are those days where you no longer feel like a smoker but don't yet feel like an ex-smoker either.  It's part of the landscape.  Savor it.   

 

Although at times it may seem like the rose bud has stopped opening we promise that it has not.   As Joseph mentioned, whether we're able to sense it or not, with each passing day the thoughts and challenges are getting fewer, shorter in duration and generally less intense.  

 

You're getting closer to home and there's just one rule ... no nicotine just one day at a time, Never Take Another Puff!

 

John  (free & healing since May 15, 1999)