to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb.
Hence we have 'the rule of thumb'
-------------------------------------------<O:P></O:P>
Many
years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It
was ruled 'Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden'...and thus the word GOLF
entered into the English language.<O:P></O:P>
-------------------------------------------<O:P></O:P>
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TVwere
Fred and Wilma Flintstone.<O:P></O:P>
-------------------------------------------<O:P></O:P>
Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury.<O:P></O:P>
-------------------------------------------<O:P></O:P>
Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.<O:P></O:P>
-------------------------------------------<O:P></O:P>
Coca-Cola was originally green.<O:P></O:P>
-------------------------------------------<O:P></O:P>
It is impossible to lick your elbow.<O:P></O:P>
-------------------------------------------<O:P></O:P>
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.<O:P></O:P>
-------------------------------------------------<O:P></O:P>
The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.<O:P></O:P>
-------------------------------------------------<O:P></O:P>
The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.<O:P></O:P>
-------------------------------------------------<O:P></O:P>
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:<O:P></O:P>
Spades - King David<O:P></O:P>
Hearts - Charlemagne<O:P></O:P>
Clubs -Alexander, the Great<O:P></O:P>
Diamonds - Julius Caesar<O:P></O:P>
-------------------------------------------------<O:P></O:P>
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321<O:P></O:P>
-------------------------------------------------<O:P></O:P>
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.<O:P></O:P>
If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.<O:P></O:P>
If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of naturalcauses.<O:P></O:P>
-------------------------------------------------<O:P></O:P>
Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the mostpopular boat name requested?<O:P></O:P>
-------------------------------------------------<O:P></O:P>
Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter 'A'?<O:P></O:P>
A. One thousand<O:P></O:P>
-------------------------------------------------<O:P></O:P>
Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?<O:P></O:P>
A. All were invented by women.<O:P></O:P>
-------------------------------------------------<O:P></O:P>
Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?<O:P></O:P>
-------------------------------------------------<O:P></O:P>
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on.<O:P></O:P>
Hence the phrase......... 'goodnight, sleep tight.'<O:P></O:P>
-------------------------------------------------<O:P></O:P>
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that
for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink.<O:P></O:P>
Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based,<O:P></O:P>
this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.<O:P></O:P>
-------------------------------------------------<O:P></O:P>
In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts...<O:P></O:P>
So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at
them 'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.'<O:P></O:P>
It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'<O:P></O:P>
-------------------------------------------------<O:P></O:P>
At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!<O:P></O:P>
-------------------------------------------------<O:P></O:P>
Now....
Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it.<O:P></O:P>
I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid<O:P></O:P>
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in what
oredr the ltteers in a word are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that
the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a
taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm.<O:P></O:P>
This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but
the word as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?<O:P></O:P>
-------------------------------------------------<O:P></O:P>
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2008 when...<O:P></O:P>
1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.<O:P></O:P>
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.<O:P></O:P>
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.<O:P></O:P>
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.<O:P></O:P>
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail
addresses.<O:P></O:P>
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the
> groceries.<O:P></O:P>
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen<O:P></O:P>
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life,
is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.<O:P></O:P>
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.<O:P></O:P>
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )<O:P></O:P>
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.<O:P></O:P>
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.<O:P></O:P>
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.<O:P></O:P>
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.<O:P></O:P>
~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~
NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.
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