ADVANTAGES OF BEING A WOMAN

 

1. There is never a need to adjust, scratch or rearrange our crotches in public.

2.  We never have to pay full price for any type of service.

3.  We have a better chance of winning the lottery than losing our hair.

4.  Marrying for money, looks, good sex or prestige is pitifully easy.

5.  Getting plastic surgery is cheaper than buying a porsche.

6.  Viagra is never a consideration.

7.  We always know where our keys, socks and wallets are.

8.  Odds are in our favor that we will receive child support rather than ever have to pay.

9.  Any reference to "female troubles" to a male boss and we can have anything we want so long as we won't discuss our ailment with him.

10. Maternity leave with pay.

11. Marrying for money

12. Divorcing for money

13. We'll never starve in a house full of food.

14. We always have clean clothes.

15. We're rarely accused of being a "mama's girl"

16. Cleanliness is a priority.

17. A head cold is a head cold..not an excuse to whine that we think we're dying.

18. High threshold for pain.

19. Low tolerance for alcohol and drugs.

20. Going to the toilet in pairs so you have someone to pass you the paper under the stall.

21. Shopping is a pastime that doesn't require obscene amounts of alcohol to enjoy.

22. Children and animals love us unconditionally.

23. We can have sex with anyone we want.

24. The knowledge that men will do anything  we ask for a piece of ass.

25. There's never any question as to how many children we have or whether or not we really are their mother.

26. Never having to make up stories about our sexual prowess to impress our friends.

27. Never being lost because we're too stupid to ask for directions.

28. A grown person will never knock on our door and accuse us of being his mother.

29. We don't have to lie about the size of our genitalia.

30. We'll never be humiliated by little wads of toilet paper stuck to our face.

31. We can enhance our looks.

32. Pretending we don't know where the oil goes or how to change a flat.

33. Doing it as many times a night as we want.

34. Living longer.

35. The silent treatment works like a charm.

36. Doors on the bathroom stalls in public restrooms.

37. PMS covers a wide range of otherwise inexcusable behavior.

38. Reaching our sexual peak in adulthood.

39. No one will ever accuse us of peeing on the seat...or leaving it up.

40. Using your toothbrush to clean the toilet when you leave us for another.

41. Getting the house, the goods, the better vehicle and the alimony.

42. Stopping unrine in mid stream.

43. Carrying a purse so we are always prepared.

44. Wearing men's clothing without being branded, labeled or laughed at.

45. Better, longer orgasms.

46. Knowing the difference between dish soap, laundry soap and body wash.

47. Never having to spend a fortune on tools that we'll never use and don't need.

48. As we age our breasts get bigger..the same cannot be said for your penis.

49. We get better with age.

50. The world is our oyster and we're the pearls!