ByLandSeaorAir_AllUniformsWelcome

From: Purple_Para (Original Message) Sent: 19/09/2005 09:44

She wanders along the shore line alone --- deep in thaught -- the sun is warm and the gulls give off their lonesome cry like lost souls--- the gentle swish of the Sea over the shingle beach is quite magical -- it is mid Summer.

The explosion when it comes is tremendous! --- the blast knocks her over! --- the beach shakes! --- debris flyes through the air like missiles! -- the gulls scream in fright!

As the last particles of debri falls with a soft patter to earth She picks herself up ,dazed and in shock She find herself looking at a massive smoking hole in the beach -- gingerly she crawls up to it and peers down into the smoking blackness for this looks like the doorway to Hades.

She hears an echoing call --- "Hey!" -- "Hey!" -- "Anyone up there?" -- "MY GOD!" She cries pulling back with fright "Its the DEVIL!"

Plucking up courage she looks in again -- the smoke is clearing,She can see a tiny figure at the bottom of the Devils Pit.

"Hi there" Shouts up the figure -- "Got a ladder?" for this aint the Devil its Para! -- hes been pissing about with whizbangs again!LOL

From: Purple_Para (Original Message) Sent: 19/09/2005 11:20

High up on the stony ridge they stand --A long line of Battle Hardened troops -- they are looking at their Commander,who, like them ,is burnt near black with the sun -- sinuey --- strong -- the heart of their Nation --- Diggers --- Australian.

Their Commander simply says -- "Right Boys -- Lets get at it" --- they pull off their shirts --- grab the picks and shovels and do just that --get at it--- They are split-locking trenches and the ground is as hard as these men -- Iron hard!

All through the day they dig -- never stoping, the enemy is close so their aint mutch time --- not a word is heard -- the only sound is the clink of tools on stones.-- the dust rises high into the burning hot sky.

Astride his Black Stalion the Officer looks through his binoculars at the dust cloud up on the ridge,turns to his Sergeant and says -- "Any idea what that is ?-- Sergeant" -- the Old Sergeant cant stand this Officer -- unlike the others in the Regiment he is pompus,overbearing and rude! --- so he simply says "Australians -- Sir!" --- The Officer snorts "Colonials" and spurs his mount ,heading for the ridge.

He reaches the top of the ridge,mount sweating and snorting in the heat -- his contempt for Horses matches his contempt for men,for he has been taught they are there to be used.--- The Officer leans down ,taps the digger's Commander on the shoulder with his horse whip and says -- " What Colonials are you?" -- the digger just looks up,sees the Bemonicaled figure,says "G'Day Sport" then gets back at it -- The Officer is incensed -- "How DARE you answer like that!" and whacks the Digger across the shoulder with his whip -- the Digger stops working stands and turns -- " Do you not know who I am ? -- what I am?" shouts the Officer --- The Digger replys calmly -- "I dont know who you are -- but I know WHAT you are!"-- "Thats it!" screams the Officer "Name - Rank - Number,NOW!" --- the Digger gives his name in a calm voice -- "44th Woomera Volunteers" he ads--- as for a number and Rank? "Brigadier General and they dont have a number -- Sport!" -- The Officer falls from his mount in a dead faint -- the monical splinters on the hard ground--- the horse looks at his master and starts to loudly whinny ---- the Diggers starts laughing too -- then start digging.---LOL.

From: Purple_Para (Original Message) Sent: 21/09/2005 09:54

The big Ship is tethered to the mooring can --- it just sidled up to it, hooked on and fell back in the stream -- no fuss -- very professional.

All is quiet except for the deep hum of the generator motors down below ,deep inside the hull -- it sounds like bees traped in a tin can.

The Captain is ashore with some of the Officers and the Master-At-Arms on a "Swan Mission",others are on a private "Z Mission",not Para,for he is on a "Special Mission".

From the Galley comes a steady stream of activity related noise and the aroma of cooking rations -- what ever He is the Galley Chief sure runs a good Galley.

"No need to stand up" -- shouts Para cheekily as he steps into the Galley --the duty cooks turn and shout friendly greetings --- over sitting at a woktop is the slow Kid--- He thinks he is Aladin cos he is rubbing away at a large Fanny (the cooking kind)-- it shines like a mirror. --- Para walks over and says " I have come to take you away from all of this -- Your Eminence" sweeping wide with his arms -- one arm connects with a pile of pots and they go crashing to the deck -- the Galley Chief flies into his domain like a Vampire on a wet night -- "What the HELL is going on in here!!" -- he shouts,then spots Para and skids to a halt -- " What the hell do you want -- Chief!-- whatever it is I ain't got it! " -- Para says " Nothing,I want nothing -- except Him" pointing to the slow kid --"Well you cant Have him,he is on defaulters and mine for a Month -- so Piss Off!"-- Para says unruffled " I dont want him for nothing -- I will trade you -- I will give you something you aint had in a long time" -- "Yeh?" Says the Galley Chief eyes starting to glaze over -- "not THAT you letcher -- Fish -- Jucy Fresh Fish" says Para -- "Fish -Eh- OK take him -- but dont cross me Para cos I know you" says the Galley Chief -- "Me? Never" says Para laughingly and walks off with the Kid in tow --- "Side Boy" who is in his favorite spot -- under the starboard stove -- wakes with a start -- he heard it -- the word -- his favorite word in the whole world -- "Fish!" -- shoots out from under and takes off after Para and the Kid at speed -- tail up like a sailboats mast-- "Crazy Cat" shouts a cook as he nearly falls over him -- barly managing to hold on to the rations he is carying.

The three of them head for the afterdeck collecting Paras fishing kit on the way -- "Side Boy" keeps darting ahead excited -- "Fish"-- he cant wait. On the afterdeck lies a Diving Suit,large Gash Can and a rope which is bent to the can handle -- Para had left them there earlier .-- "Side Boy" sits down like a gun dog his tail swishing in anticipation -- Para says to the Kid -- "Lets Fish shall we?" -- Para lights the fuse of his "Fishing tackle" and pops it over the side -- lazily the tackle drifts down into the depths smokey bubles emitting from the fuse --- there is a dull "Thump" -- a few seconds later --"Fish"-- belly up on the surface. -- Ok Kid -- Suit on -- go fetch" -- says Para happily -- as he lowers the large gash can over the side to collect his harvest.

"Side Boy" has a sniff and makes his choice from the Fish that litter the deck -- he drags it off, and in short time looks like he has swalowed a foot ball.-- "Ok Kid,One more time -- Eh? says Para and pops the tackle into the briny --- a gust of wind -- the big Ship starts to swing -- straight over the tackle -- Para hears the thump of the detanation and looks at the Kid.

"Peace at last" thinks the duty Officer as his ass kisses the seat of the Officers Head ( toilet to the land based) . He picks up his special ass wipe roll -- double sheet-- lovely! --- "WHAM"!!!!!!!! the deck below his feet trembles -- "Torpedoed !" He screams

and shoots out of the heads pants at the knees -- he hits the afterdeck at speed and comes face to face with Para --- in an instant He knows the source of the trouble -- "YOU! -- right what have you been doing now -- Chief" calming down --- "Fishing Sir !" for the Officers "Sir!" lying his ass off -- "Fresh Fish in the Wardroom tonight -Sir!-- However,if I may humbly sugest - Sir!" -- "Pull up yor Pants and drop the ass wipe roll FIRST -- Sir!" --LOL.

From: Purple_Para (Original Message) Sent: 21/09/2005 12:01

Everyone who is going ashore is there,except one-- they are wearing brightly coloured shirts-- the Hawian variety,the ones that look completely insane if worn outwith the area that the Sun rules the sky --light pants and sandles -- The liberty boat is being lowered over the side.

The Galley Chief takes one last look in the mirror-- "Perfect -- Just Perfect" he sighs --- he is dressed to kill -- ever since Para mentioned the "Something you aint had in a long time " he has been thinking about -- Dames! -- He heads to join the liberty men.

When the Galley Chief struts out onto the deck,everyone starts to cat call and whistle -- even the Officers join in."Side Boy" takes one look -- hisses with his ears back -- and takes off for the safety of his stove.

Para wasnt fussed about going but the Kid talked him into it,he wants to buy him a beer or two -- more even -- as a thank you for getting him off the defaulters detail and back with his dive buddys -- Para was summond before the Captain for his "Fishing Trip",thank'd for the fresh fish,told off for the method used to catch them then thank'd again for the best laugh he had had in years when told about the Duty Officer,then with great magnanimity he pardoned the Slow Kid and gave him back to Para-- A good result all round.

The Galley Chief walks up to Para puffed up like a Peacock and says -- " You were lucky Chief -- real lucky -- but thanks for the fish" he then adds "Whada ya think?" turning round arms akindo -- "smart eh?" -- "Seen it before " says Para shading his eyes from the glare -- "Was with you when you baught it -- remember? -- "Yeh -- oh yeh-- so you were " -- "The guy made a suit at the same time for you as I recall" Says the Galley Chief -- "Yup" says Para -- and drifts off in rememberance of that night --- Hong Kong -- what a City!

"In here" says the Galley Chief dragging Para behind him --- the chinees tailor glides out from behind the bead curtain -- Sailors! one is Drunk the other looks -- carefull -- "Money to be made here" he thinks "Lota Money" .As soon as Para opens his mouth and speaks the tailor says "Ahh English sailor" --" Nope - Canadian Buddy" says Para -- "You want suit made? your friend want suit made?" asks the tailer --- "How mutch?" says Para -- "200 Dolla--each!-- US Dolla"-- "Piss off!" says Para real friendly -- I will give you " 150 Hong Kong Dolla and a Bottle of real bust your ass Russian Vodka"-- "Ok?" says Para -- the little guy (not Para) being a bit of a piss artist in his spare time agrees -- "What about your friend?" asks the tailer-- Para looks at the Galley Chief who can hardly stand never alone speak says on his behalf, like any friend would "Sure,he will give you 200 Dolla US and no bust your ass Vodka" --"Ok"-- "Ok-Ok- good deal -- I take measurements -- you come back in three hours-- suits ready" -- Para picks out his bolster of cloth,light in weight dark in colour -- looks at the Galley Chief then points to a big bolster on the top --"For him" says Para pointing at the Galley Chief.-- Para hands over the Vodka and says " Deposit only,you get Dolla when I get Suit" -- the tailer points to the Galley Chief -- "Pay the man -- 200 US " says Para,in a drunken stupour the Galley Chief hands over the wad.Out they Go.

Bang on time Para is back for his suit,it is a perfect fit -- he hands over the cash -- the tailor is pissed out of his head on the Vodka

"Other suit not ready -- come back -- one hour" --" Ok " says Para and heads back to the Bar where he left the Galley Chief.-- He picks the suit up one hour later and heads for the Ship.

The suit now stands there -- right in front of him-- emerald green in colour -- like Gumbo on a bad day--inside it somewhere is the Galley Chief,for when the tailor got pissed he started to see double so everything became double even the Galley Chiefs suit sizes.LOL.

From: Purple_Para (Original Message) Sent: 21/09/2005 14:08

The liberty men hit the beach like a squad of Marines --- some went over the side in the rush -- the rest disperse like breaking surf -- heading for the Bars -- It's Shore Time!

Para and the Kid cant shake off the Galley Chief -- he hangs onto them like a bad smell -- so they give up and hit the nearest Bar.

" OK" says Para who has a glow on says to the Bar Keep-- "No more for me --Im on shift later" -- "Im not " snorts the galley chief like a grampus "and neither is HE" gigling like a halfwit in the stocks he points to the Kid who is lying on the bar room floor soaked to the gills -- Pissed!

Para had to look for the Galley Chief -- for a second he could not see him -- he was sitting at a table located in some fake decorative bar foilage -- in his emerald green suit he was perfectly camouflaged -- Para could only see a face -- flushed red with booze.

"Hey - Para Matey" shouts the Chief drunkenly -- "Over here,I want you to meet my fiance" --- Para steps over the Kid and goes to the table -- " Ok Para -- meet Imelda my wife to be " -- Para leans forward to shake hands with Imelda -- out of the foilage "She" imerges -- Para jumps back in horor -- withrawing his hand rapid! --- for there - right there - is the ugliest " Bar Boy" Para has set eyes on .-- " Whats the mata with you -- dont you like my sweet Imelda" the Galley Chief shouts drunkenly as he staggers to his feet drooling,pawing at Imelda -- The "Bar Boy" shufles out of his way -- Para looks and sees the "Bar Boy" only has one leg -- the Galley Chief starts to shout drunkenly "Imelda my sweet one - sit down " -- " come to me" -- "your the ONE!" -- the "Bar Boy" fells the Galley Chief with a hit a Lumberjack would be proud of totaly convinced the Galley Chief was taking the piss about his one leg.LOL.

From: Purple_Para (Original Message) Sent: 21/09/2005 15:27

The Big Ship is ready for sea --- all that is left is to slip the mooring can and head off --- new horizons -- new adventures -- a sailors life.

The Galley Chief -- The Kid --- Para and some others are in the sick bay with the Medico getting patched up after the run ashore.

The Galley Chief nose is brocken allong with his dentures,the Kid needs his guts pumped out and Para wants his jaw sorted cos he poped it laughing that hard at the Galley Chief's pre-matrimonial mishap.

There is a rush off feet allong the passage -- a guy looks in and says "Hey! you just gotta see THIS!" and takes off.-- The contents of the sick bay empty in a flash -- all heading for topsides.

Out of the mists of time it must have come -- heading straight at them --- at speed -- surrouded in fog.

The Captain shouts through the loudhailer in a nervous voice "Ahoy there -- Stand Off-- What Ship Are You -- State your Business".

"The Roger M -- We are coming allongside -- we have a passenger for you" Shouts a voice from the strange Ship which Para can now see as an ancient coal burning coaster streaked with rust -- he looks at it and murmers quietly -- "Holy shit -- a floating Shipwreck"

" Stand off I say -- I will fire on you if I have to" Shouts Back the Captain,turns and gives the Command " Slip the can -- get underway as quickly as possible" -- "Aye Aye - Sir!" comes back the reply.

The old coaster is real close now -- Para can see a figure out on the bow -- right up as far as it can go -- just like in the Movie "Titanic" -- waving and shouting -- Para cant beleive it! -- but it sure is -- Imelda! -- Imelda is here to claim "Her" man.

Para turns to say something smart to the Galley Chief but sees the man is ill -- white faced -- sweating -- worried

The Big ship kicks up a foaming stern wash as it heads at speed away from the mooring can,land,floating shipwreck and Imelda!

Pata turns to his old friend the Galley Chief puts his hand on his shoulder and says -- " Boy ohh boy -- that was close real close! --too close" -- " I knew though that you would have been just fine Chief " -- the Galley Chief looks at his friend and says -- "You did Para? -- why is that? " Para says in a hard to mannage voice --- "Imelda? - legally,"She" never had a leg to stand on!" LOL.

From: Purple_Para (Original Message) Sent: 21/09/2005 20:15

Be prepared -- I have a 24/24 Divers Rest Period!-- YOU have been warned -- so lock up the kids,put the car in the garage,shutter the homestead --- And come out for a beer!LOL.

From: Purple_Para (Original Message) Sent: 21/09/2005 20:32

What is the differance between a Brit - A Canadian - An American ?

From: Purple_Para (Original Message) Sent: 22/09/2005 11:31

I am off for my Breakfast -- see you later.--- Para Special -- Full English -- Yum.

From: Purple_Para (Original Message) Sent: 22/09/2005 14:12

The Eight Bell has been struck --- the sound slowly receeds --- it is so black the night you feel you could touch the stars -- the stern lamp lights up the buriel party-- the voice says - " Do not ask for whoom the bell tolls -- for it tolls for thee " -- in a phosphorescent splash the bundle hits the Ships wake -- the "Spithead Nightingale" makes a final farewell -- the burial at sea is over -- the bundle is on its way to the Ocean floor, miles below, where "Davey Jones" has his locker and mermaids comb their hair.

Para looks at the Galley Chief who is sad faced and says --"Listen -- it was for the best you know that -- we all have to go sometime -- but I think you were a bit hasty thats all " -- they walk off in silence heading for the wake in the Galley.

The Galley Chief has done everyone proud --- there are nibblets,cakes,sandwiches and best of all --- home made Booz !

Everyone who is off shift is there to pay their respects -- it sure is a sombre gathering --- someone asks --"Any idea where we are going" -- everyone looks at Para and says "Well?" ---" the land of the Goblins" says Para who knows all the scuttle -- " Where the hell is that Chief ?" -- says the slow kid --- "Ireland" says Para --- " We could have got a fortune for that suit there -- they love that coulour --- but oh-no -- YOU had to send it down for "Davy Jones" to wear and strut" adds Para pointing at the Galley Chief. --" it reminded me of Imelda " says the Galley Chief lamely.-- " Hey! we could always sell you Para -- trade you off as a leprechaun cos you sure look and behave like one! --- shouts the Galley Chief loudly and starts to belly laugh -- " I hope your guts bust" says Para not amused.LOL.

From: Purple_Para (Original Message) Sent: 22/09/2005 18:47

Everyone has a dream place ---no cheating now!--- no bull shit! --- tell the truth now! OK? ---- where is it -- where does your soul really go in your thaughts? --- Spit it out!

I will start it off ---- I want to go back,I want to change things,if I could I would have a time machine,I miss my MoM and PoP so bad that I wanna find them again. --- Thats my dream place.---- right back with my folks.

From: Purple_Para (Original Message) Sent: 22/09/2005 22:01

The Galley Chief says he will make a Full English in the Morning in honour of all the Brit guys serving.--- hash browns included.LOL

From: Purple_Para (Original Message) Sent: 23/09/2005 18:18

They are all at -- scratch -- scatch --- sounds like a Guy rubbing down a table with glass paper --- scrach --- scratch.

Para pulls up his top and sees them --- scratch -- scratch --- small red blotches -- "What the! " he says alloud then heads for the sick bay.

The place is packed with Guys -- scratch --- scratch --- "Ok Chief -- Strip -- throw you kit on the pile over there and sit down -- I will get to you soon" -- "Next Man"--- says the Medico.

The place looks like a nudist colony -- "Right Chief -- Your turn" says the Medico -- he hands Para a tube of cream and says --"Apply that to each bite -- grab a clean Shirt and Pants -- strip your rack,draw a new matress and take your kit to the Laundry" -- Para looks a the tube of cream -- looks at the Medico and says -- "Bites! What the Hell do you mean Bites!" --- "Fleas " says the Medico " They are Flea Bites "--- "Side Boy" is covered in them ".

It took two hours to catch him -- he faught like a traped Marine -- but there he is,in his metal cage that the Engineering guys made for him -- ears back humming in anger -- "Side Boy"! Fleas in with him heading shoreside to the Vet.

"Hey Para! Matey! Do me a favour will you?" -- "I heard you were on the Vet detail " says the Engineering chief -- "What kind of favour? " says Para warily -- "Nothing hard -- nip into a Bar and get me a Bottle of Whisky " -- "WHAT! -- are you NUTS? says Para -- "You want to get me Brig Time you Bum -- you on the Guzzle?"he adds --- "Negative Matey -- its a birthday present--- for the Galley Chief -- the Captain gave it the Go " --- " He better have -- hand over the cash" says Para.

"Come back in about four hours" says the Vet face scratched and ear bitten after "Side Boys" examination -- "Right Sir" says Para trying hard not to laugh -- "By "Side Boy"-- see you later" says Para tapping the cage -- the cat goes at him like a circus lion and gives him the -- "I'l get you later - Buddy" Look.

"What now Chief?" says the MotorMan to Para-- "Whisky -- then back to the Ship and come back later for "Side Boy".

The doorman sees him -- the little guy in the Sailors suit -- jauntily heading his way -- this guy hates Sailors,ever since his wife ran off with one -- it dont matter none to him that he beat her,gave her a hard time -- she shouldnt have run off! -- so now he hates Sailors and sure likes to beat up on them -- and heres one-- heading his way!

"Hold up there Bud!" he says agressivly to Para placing a big hairy hand on Paras chest -- "You! aint going in there" -- "Now beat it!" and gives Para a push -- it catches Para off ballance and he falls on his ass -- he is up and on his feet in a flash --- "Best not fight" thinks Para he is out on a mission so it might cost him Brig Time -- he looks at the doorman who is as big as the Galley Chief and wearing a stained "T" Shirt, gut hanging over filthy jeans -- " Take it easy buddy -- I only want a Bottle of whisky -- tell you what -- you let me get it and I will bring you a present -- Ok?"-- "What kind of present?" asks the doorman -- "A Navy coat -- must get cold here " says Para

"A Navy Coat -eh -Ok-- get the Whisky but no boozing -- Sailors aint welcome here- but remeber this -- if you dont come back,I will hunt you down and rip your guts outa your ass --Savy! " says the doorman --" Dont you worry Buddy I will be back forsure " says Para timidly -- the doorman feels all powerfull -- "Little runt -- taught him one" he thinks.

As soon as Para hits the Ship he heads for the Laundry --- "Hey - you guys washed the Galley Chiefs coat yet?" asks Para "If not give me it " he adds -- the coat is handed over and Para takes off with it -- the doormans present.

The doorman thinks hes the smartest guy in town -- walking up and down in his new Navy Coat in front of the Bar -- Para is no more than two blocks from him when the doorman starts to scratch.

Para picks up "Side Boy" from the Vet and says to him through the cage --"I got you a nice new bed to sleep on,you didnt like that old coat anyway " and starts pissing himsef laughing. LOL

From: Purple_Para (Original Message) Sent: 23/09/2005 14:44

" Beans- Beans there good for the heart

The more you eat the more you Fart

The more you Fart the better you feel

So best have Beans with every Meal "

Henry John Heinz 1869,as a launch quote for Heinz Beanz.

LOL.

From: Purple_Para (Original Message) Sent: 23/09/2005 21:05

It probably drifted for years --- back and forward --- back and forward --- thousands of miles it must have traveled --- but now its docked --- the journey is over.

The two guys hanging over the port rail aint sure if it is or if it aint -- they discuss it -- they ponder it -- then decide -- it is!And Jump back in fear! Shouting for the Deck Officer.

Para is so excited --- he just gotta touch it -- as soon as he heard he was there like an arrow shot from a bow -- straight to it.

The old Torpedo just bobs there -- playfully it seems -- as it bobs up and down in the waveletts of the Harbour -- covered in green Sea Slime -- heavily encrusted with Barnacles and Sea Muscules --- waiting!

"Ok Chief -- what do YOU think -- can it be moved with safety?"-- "Doubt if it can forsure -Sir!" Says Para to the Deck Officer --"Ok -- I will tell the Captain -- he will notify the Harbour Authority -- in the meantime try and think of something " says the Officer --"Sir!" says Para and looks at HIS Torpedo lovingly -- like a Pop at his Kid.

The compressed air from the clinders that drove the Torpedoes Motor must have escaped into its casing -- keeping it up on the surface --- waiting all these years -- For Para.-- and he sure is glad it did.--- playtime!

"The only way is to detonate it -- stick some PE to the warhead, then Kabooom!" says Para getting excited again -- "I dont think it will go with mutch of a Bang as the warhead is ancient so the HE will be in poor condition - Sir! " he adds -- "Thats what you said about the Mine Chief -- Remember?" says the Officer doubtfully -- "THAT was a one of - Sir! - Trust me" says Para piousley.

Carefully VERY carefully they pass the cable over the Warhead of the Torpedo-- run out what seems like miles of extra -- start the motor in the bum boat and start to tow --- up comes the slack -- they head out of the Harbour for the open Sea --the Torpedo bobs after them like a playfull puppy on a leash.

Para looks back at the Harbour -- the towns houses look tiny -- "Ok Guys -- far enough -- get the PE and the Timer" he says.

The Torpedo is just a dot -- just visible as it bobs up and down -- Para looks at his watch -- anytime --NOW! -- nothing -- zilch!

"Nope Chief --- nooo way! Are we going near it --- get the Catain to fire the deck weapon at it --- we aint going " say the guys in the Bum Boat ---" Bunch of Dames! -- Trust me" says Para -- sticking the Bum Boat into gear he heads for his baby.

Like the Mine,when the Torpedo goes up it shoots Briny hundreds of feet into the Air -- Para and another guy go over the side with the blast -- the Bum Boat is nearly swamped with the wave from the detonation.

The Officer watching through his binoculars starts to chuckle and says " He did it again -- Trust me he said" and starts to laugh .LOL.

From: Purple_Para (Original Message) Sent: 23/09/2005 22:51

The kid hangs about the Harbour all day -- sometimes into the night you could find him there -- just wandering up and down -- nowhere to go --- he watches the Big Ships come and go --- he watches the Sailormen --- he wants to be one of them -- a Sailor.

"Hi Kid" says the Sailor who is with his buddies --- "Whatcha doing here this late on?" -- "You best get home now -- your Mom and Pop will be looking for you -- worried for you "he says. The Kid answers "Aint got either -- no home neither" -- "Hey! Thats a tough break Kid" the Sailor says -- "Tell you what -- you be here tomorrow -- and I will try to help you out?" --"OK?"-- "Ok!" says the Kid "Thanks --Sailor"

The Sailors head back to the Ship -- "Whacha you gonna do Buddy?" a Sailor asks -- "Help him -- just help Him" Says the Sailor who was talking to the Kid.

The next day sure enough the Kid is there --- waiting --- waiting -- no sign of the Sailors. -- then there he is -- right there -- the Sailor he spoke with.

The Sailor takes the Kid back to the Ship -- Feeds Him -- gives him clothes -- then takes the Kid over to the Harbour Master --"This is the Kid I told you about" says the Sailor "Everything ready?" -- "Sure is "says the Harbour Master -- "OK Kid in here" he adds opening a door --- the Policeman stands up --- the Kid trys to run -- the Sailor catches him and says --"Its for the best Kid -- Go with him -- He will see you that you will be looked after" -- the Policeman leaves with the Kid -- a protective arm arround his shoulder -- the Kid looks back but the Sailor is gone.

The Galley Chief is home on leave -- visiting his Brother --- The Kid is running arround blowing the Policemans whistle -- the Galley Chiefs Brothers whistle.

From: Purple_Para (Original Message) Sent: 25/09/2005 20:52

The figure moves allong with elegance --- shadowy --- allong the deck it moves --- stops a while -- then on it goes -- towards the bow --- on the forecastle it stops and looks out to sea --- towards the horizon --- searching --- for what?

The deck watch spot the figure --- even the bridge watch see it -- the bridge calls the top look out --- they can see it --- the Captain is called --- "Unknown intruder on Ship --Sir! -- all hands accounted for --Sir! -- the Captain heads for the bridge.

The figure is standing still-- just looking forward --- always forward -- never turning --- perfectly still.

"Send for the Master-at-Arms -- Now!" says the Captain -- The Master- at -Arms arrives -- "Check that person!" says the Captain pointing to the figure -- "Aye Aye -- Sir" is the reply .

The Master -at -Arms approaches the figure -- arm outstreached -- Pistol in the other hand at "Lock and Load" -- he orders the figure " Stand Fast There!- Do not move or I will Fire!" -- his hand touches the figures shoulder --the figure turns-- he falls back -- the Pistol Fires!

The Master- at -Arms is in the Sick Bay in total shock --- he keeps saying to Para over and over "It WAS him I tell you -- it Was Him !" -- "I looked into his eyes -- He looked into mine!" -- "It was Him!" Para says "I beleive you -- I have seen him before and never said" -- the Master -at Arms says "Please tell the Captain! -- he thinks I am insane!" -- "I will" says Para "Forsure I will" -- and requests to see the Captain.

"Thats it Sir! Without question it was he -- for I knew him well --- I did not wish to say as he seemed --- Happy -Sir!" -says Para.

"Ok Chief -- I beleive you -- for in truth I too have seen him and never said " says the Captain --" please get the Chaplain" --"Sir!" says Para ,does the duty and takes off to find the Chaplain.

The blessing seems to have done it --- in a strange way Para is sad and happy at the same time--- he will not see his friend again on this side -- but he is certain he will on the other side -- allong with all the rest he will be waiting for him -- to welcome him -- Home.

From: Purple_Para (Original Message) Sent: 25/09/2005 19:17

The Bear starts to run so everybody runs! -- its like a bomb burst -- they head in all directions --- the Bear is confused -- who aint!

The Bear latches on to Paras trail --- Para runs like the wind --- so does the Bear!

Para heads for a tree but it is already full of Guys,he swerves and heads for the brush -- legs going like pistons in a motor.-- crashing the brush at speed he starts to take dammage -- thorns rip his flesh and clothes -- the Bear is right there --- right on his ass!

Para trips and falls -- the Bear is on him in a flash! -- Hot breath hits him in the face -- "Ok,Ok -- have it then! You bum!" Shouts Para at the Bear -- the Bear grabs the Bottle of Beer and downs it in one long Guzzle then starts to lick Paras face.

The handler says -- "You should have given it to him in the first place!" says the handler --- "Are you nuts!" Shouts Para back --" it was the last one!" LOL.

From: Purple_Para (Original Message) Sent: 25/09/2005 22:03

The lead section cross open ground towards the first objective -- Para is close behind the lead scout -- suddenly there is a burst of rifle fire which sends mud and tufts of earth of grass hurtling into the air -- Para screams "Take Cover!!"

The Airborne instantly! Respond to the Command,running forward a few steps before throwing themselfs to the ground.He starts to shout Commands and assume control of the Battle.Shots ring out as the targets are engaged-- they close on the first objective --- leap frogging forward by fire and manouver -- a tactic well learned -- this time he must concentrate!

Para takes cover in a muddy ditch --- He peers over the top --- "Shit! I cant see the bunker --- where theHell is it?" He thinks -- He remembers his training -- "If you can't see the target -- change your fire position" -- He might have bluffed his way by firing into empty space during training -- not this time -- not for real -- people are going to die out here!--" Stay Frosty" he thinks ---and changes his position --" now,that's better" he thinks as the low lying bunker wavers in his rifle sights --"Ok,calm down,breath in deeply--- exhale-- steady and Fire!" he tells himself-- double tap!-- great!--- a head explodes in a shower of red--- down--shift position slightly-- confuse the enemy---pop up in another spot--- come back to aim---sqeeze the trigger--- WHAM!---another head dissapears like the first one ---"are you good or what?" thinks Para .

Something makes him look over his shoulder -- He spots the Section Sniper with a grin on his face and a thumb up in the old Brit salute -- He has been covering Para all the time!-- Para thinks "Bastard!" -- but laughs all the same

From: Purple_Para Sent: 25/09/2005 23:20

Para tells the Section -- "Ok- Pack everything away! -- Hurry up!"

They Quickly stow away their Kit.--- Para indicates to one of several Land Rovers parked on the Mud covered Road -- He shouts "All of you,on that vehicle,NOW!-- obediently they pile aboard,all ten men,with weapons and equipment -- quite a sqeeze -- Para slams the tailgate shut -- the motor bursts into life -- moments later they are rolling out ofthe Harbour area towards the AO -(Area of Operation).

20 minutes later they arrive at Area.In training Battle Drills are practiced "Dry"-(Blank) in the REAL life it is Ball,and you need as mutch as you can carry and more!

This is a Company attack,the first objective Pras section has to take is in an open area,and consits of a small enemy detachment who are defending an old grey stone building.

It takes time foreveryone to move into position which starts to irritate the Company Commanderho hisses at Para --" For Christ sake -- cant you get your people mooving! -- thank you" there is no cover for the Company to take advantage of -- however,the actual assault takes very little time,with each gun position quickly dealt with in a concerted series of attacks,which to Paras eyes looks fluid and very professional.

The next objective is in a valley,a short distance away.-- Enemy troops have established themselfs among the rubble of a tin and boulder ruin,with the most likely approach covered by a Heavy Machine Gun.-- as in the previous attack,the position should be taken in the classical style -- quickly and with the minimum fuss--- this Para is about to do,or so he beleives when he is joined by the Company Sergeant who says --"Dont mind me -- I am only here to watch!"-- Para thinks "My Arse!" and how right he is!

The Company Sergeant starts up! -- "YOU - yes YOU!-- there's no point infiring if you cant see the target-- change position NOW!-- let's have some anticipation-- let's start bloody WORKING! -- you must work and work untill you are TOLD! to stop!"

The Company Sergeant is heating up FAST! And is nearly on the boil ---Para is about to order some men forward when the Sergeant grabs him by his fighting order and drags him back-- he shouts into Para face -- "The Section Commander MUST lead by example-- where possible HE will be the one to take out the initial objective" -- then lets him go -- Para starts to shout QBOs (Quick Battle Orders)-- the Sergeant grabs him again-- claps a hand over his mouth and shouts into his ear --"For Christ Sake! iv'e told you before NO QBO's during an attack use SO's (snap orders) be brief !" then lets him go again -- the Sergeant spots the "Gunny" (machine gunner) he is "Plock-Plocking" at the building in a lazy manner -- the Sergeant shoots off like a missile and grabs him -- the "Gunny" turns white -- the Sergeant has a face as red as Mars and starts to shake him-- he shouts "So it's YOU again is it? Ive told you before about your crap shooting -- COVER your people -- the point of fire has to be at a desperate angle!" -- he lets the "Gunny" go who starts to work in the correct manner -- white as a sheet!

As the din of Battle increases to a level that not one spocken word can be heard Para resorts to hand Signals -- the final assault is viscious and short -- Para removes all compassion from his soul-- they hit the enemy hard -- he double taps never single firing -- his Rifle jams -- he drops it and pulls his pistol and keeps double tapping -- fighting his way through with aggression -- they MUST win the firefight!

Para looks over the Battle area and sees part of the Section give the thumbs-up to show they have taken a position -- the fight is over -- Pra and the Section has survived -- he is the Section Commader -- however,in his heart,he knows it was the Sergeant who secured their survival and a place in the next attack---

From: Purple_Para Sent: 26/09/2005 00:30

Para hopes nobody notices his nervousness as he waits at the start line for the action to begin.

Small consolation that there are more section Commanders feeling,no doubt,just like him -- he looks to his right and spots the Company Commander-- he glances at Para with a stony stare --- Para looks over his shoulder and sees the Sergeant who looks at him with the same stony stare as the Company Commander -- he swallows hard and thinks -- "Holy Shit! -- what Now!"

The order comes clear and precise -- " MAKE READY!" -- " FIX ---- BAYONETS!"

The Sergeant comes right up behind Para and says in a plesent voice -- "What formation are you going to use?" --- Para says --- "File -- down the left hand slope" -- his skin feels waxy -- he thinks he is going to get his ring ripped--- not this time,for the Sergeant says in the same strange pleasant voice --- "Ok -- just as long as you know" -- he closes on Para and whispers in his ear -- " This is your Battle now -- This is your War-- when you make your appreciation-- Ok if it's wrong I will tell you -- stay frosty!"

Para gets his men to stand up --- the Sergeant closes on him again and says --"Spacing -- Look!-- Guy on the end -- sort your spacings out!" -- Para follows his adviceand carrys on.

Para arrives at the crest of a gentle slope and the advance slows to a halt-- below is the Battlefield -- a panorama of green and brown--- scarred by muddy tracks and ditches -- barbed -wire tangle foot and entanglements -- bunkers -- here and there the wreckage of vehicles.

Para orders his men forward when the flanking sections move.

The Sergeant shouts over to Para "Slow down you are getting ahead of the main advance!"

There is a burst off fire!--- everyone darts forward a few paces and takes cover -- one Guy is hit in the chest and drops like a sack of coal from a truck --Para shouts -- "Delta! -- Follw on! " his 2ic looks at him and shouts "What?" -- Para thinks --" Bloody Hell! Dont make me look like a prat!" -- as he spots the Company Commander looking at him --- he does it right shouting " FOLLOW ON!" enhansing it with a field hand signal -- they GO!

"Push them forward" Screams the Sergeant " Push forward into the ruins for Christ Sake!"

Para is screaming at his section to get among some rubble and boulders -- people are screaming orders and screaming in pain -- weapons are firing -- he spots one guy standing up,legs astride a mortar bomb which failed to explode,laughing like the demented, firing his weapon -- the Battle din is terrific --a trench mortar adds to the confusion by shrouding a bunker in clouds of dense white smoke -- Paras first objective is dealt with efficiently -- another is indicated.

The Sergeant is screaming at Para at the top of his voice -- " Get them moving again! -- Keep them rolling forward with the rest of the Company!"-- On Paras right flank another Section is fired on -- as they go to ground a white Phospherous grenade explodes in a dazling shower of burning fragments -- out of the Section, two get up and start to advance -- one stands up enveloped in flames then drops.

A whistle starts to blow!-- the "REORG" -- the attack is over-- Para breathes a sigh of relief -- He has survived again -- A long time it seems -- 36 Hours!-- so far -- so good.

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