Dear Deborah....I am so sorry for your loss of your precious daughter, Jessica, and for the pain that you and your husband are going through. The loss of a child is indeed the most profound pain that anyone can have, and sometimes they do blame God for that loss. But, God is not to blame.....God did not give her that terrible condition. And, this does destroy some marriages. I hope that is not the case for you. After my son died, it was my faith that got me through it...It sounds like Jessica went through a lot in her struggle for life. She must have been a very courageous little girl.
I wish I had some magic words that I could give you to make it better. All I can give you is an ear to listen, and I can cry with you. Keep coming here and venting if you need to do so.....sharing does sometimes help.
May God hold you tight and grant you peace and gentle healing.
Love and hugs....Rean