Rean,  I do know what you mean,  I never knew what to say to people who had lost a loved one,  then it seem to happen to me over and over.    I now know just being there and just letting them talk and listening is probably one of the best things you can do.   I know it was a tremendous help to me. 

love and hugs to all  this group has been great,   I am trying to post more.