Hi Rean and Cat,
I find it hard to try and move on because I'm always thinking that Andy should be here with us. On the 14th. of July my daughter-in-law, Anna, put on a little graduation party for my granddaughter Crystal, and she invited both sets of grandparents to come celebrated with them since Crystal was the first of our grandchildren to graduate from high school. The party was held at June's place (Andy's mom) because her washroom is on the main floor and with her mom being so ill and all it was more convenient for everyone. Anyway, during this party I was taking all kinds of pictures of everyone, so I told the kids to come outside so I could take a good one of my grandkids. Everything seemed find until I looked into on the view finder to focus my picture. There stood my three grandchildren with big smiles on their faces, and suddenly my heart just sunk right to the ground. There was definitely someone missing in that picture, Andy should have been there... but he wasn't. My heart suddenly felt like it was swelling, and I instantly began to tear up. Of course I had to pretend that some dust had blown into my eye and caused it to water because I didn't want to put a damper on the party, but it's moments like that when I realize what a precious gift I've lost.
Aside from that I go to the cemetery regularly to visit his grave and talk with him a lot. I've also created a website for him at http://andrew-andy-tessier.memory-of.com/ which keeps me busy, and some of his friends created a group for him on "Facebook" where I am also a member.
I thought my days of crying would have slowed down a lot by now, but they haven't yet. I still think of him on a daily basis, and I miss him terribly. I often feel I am stagnating as well, and I get depressed a lot. I really don't know if my life is moving on or not, but I know that on October 15, 2004 my whole world changed, and it will never be the same again.
Hugs...Shannon