Smile
Happy
What are you so happy about? a woman asked the 98-year-old man.
I broke a mirror he replied.
But that means 7 years of bad luck.
I know, he said, beaming. Isnt it wonderful?
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Lost Phone
My girlfriend called me as she was driving to an
appointment. She arrived, and I could tell from her voice
that she was getting frustrated. Finally she said, "I know I
had my cell phone with me. And now I can't find it!"
I replied, "Aren't you talking on it!?"
There was a solid period of stunned silence as the reality
of the situation sank in - followed by, "You are NOT going
to tell anybody about this!"
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Microsoft Word
I was writing a casual letter to a friend, using Microsoft
Word, when I was called away to do something else.
So I quickly saved the letter but neglected to name it.
In Word, if you don't type anything into the "Save as"
field, it will use the first few words of your text as a title,
with the suffix ".doc." When I returned to my computer,
the letter was stored as "What's up.doc."
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Old Dog, New Trick!
An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard.
I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that
he had a home.
He followed me into the house, down the hall, and
fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the
door, and I let him out.
The next day he was back, resumed his position in
the hall, and slept for an hour. This continued for
several days.
Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: "Every
afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap."
The next day he arrived with a different note
pinned to his collar:
"He lives in a home with ten children --
He's trying to catch up on his sleep.
Can I come with him tomorrow?"
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Application
Recently, our 18-year-old daughter started hunting for her first real
job.
She spent an afternoon filling out applications, leaving them on the
kitchen table to finish later. As I walked by, a section of the
application
on top jumped out at me. Under "Previous Employment" she wrote,
"Baby sitting."
In answer to "Reason for Leaving" she wrote, "Parents came home."
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How to Clean the House
1. Open a new file in your PC.
2. Name it "Housework."
3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN.
4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN.
5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to
delete Housework permanently?"
6. Calmly answer, "Yes," and press the mouse button
firmly.
Feel better?
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