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: Sharing diabetes with a therapist |
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I started therapy about a month ago after having an unexplicable anxiety attack that lasted about 5 days and prevented me from going to work. I did not bring up my diabetes; there were other events more current that were making me anxious. However, tonight, we somehow got on the subject and I found myself a little pissed off at the counselor. Has this been an experience for any of you? When she asked me more pointedly about my diabetes, I told her that it was very personal to me, and very raw. I can write about it here, because I'm writing. If I was with any of you in person, I would probably be able to talk about it as I know you've been there.....but in the past, if I have to discuss it with strangers--especially non diabetics---I usually take the attitude that it's a teaching moment, and there's sometimes an underlying anger...depending on the level of ignorance that I'm dealing with. Tonight, I just felt like my personal space was violated. To me, diabetes is a wound so deep, it goes beyond words. When she tried to make me articulate it, I just felt pissed! I don't really know what I'm trying to say here, or ask, just venting. Thanks. Sarah |
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Pam, I tried paxil and lexapro and both made me feel horribly dizzy, only stayed on each a few days. Then I tried zoloft for a few months, but it really didn't do that much and I was afraid of weight gain on it. I finally went on effexor and stayed on it for about 18 months. I don't know how much it helped, it was just one of those scared to take it and scared not to take it situations. The side effects I had on effexor were constipation, fatigue, sexual side effects, and possible weight gain (or inability to lose). I was also taking ativan as needed at the time, but only stayed on that for a few months. I weaned off the effexor very very slowly and didnt have too much trouble stopping it except for some increased anxiety for a while. Good luck, I hope you find something that can help you without creating other issues. alisa (by the way, Karend was also on effexor) |
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Learning to breathe again: When our breathing gets out of sink (due to illness or life stresses) and we're breathing very shallow, feelings of physical anxiety soon follow. Once you regularly practice breathing deeply/properly you'll be able to notice when you are out of balance with your breathing. When you first start it is easiest to lie on the floor, put a soft pillow under your head if it's more comfortable. The reason for the following is to be able to see and feel if your chest is rising with every breath or your abdomen. If your chest is rising more than your abdomen your breathing is shallow leaving you always on the verge of a panick attack. To start, lay one hand (palm down) on your chest and the other hand (palm down) on your abdomen. Now slowly breath in through your nose filling your lungs until your abdomen pushes out as far as it will go. Hold for a second and then slowly release the breath through slightly parted lips or through your nose. Hold for a second and then start taking in another long slow breath through your nose. Repeat 20 times or more. When you breath in through your mouth it sets off the fight or flight response so you want to avoid that. If you practice this you'll soon realize how "off" your breathing has been. The goal is to breathe this way 24/7, but of course life seems to make that tough, so when you catch yourself breathing shallow and through your mouth you can apply this slow steady breathing technique to get yourself back in line. You can control anxiety and panic attacks with this, lower blood pressure and heart rate. I would love to know if anyone gives this a try and finds it helpful.  Terri |
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Terri, Yes, I do deep breathing exercises on a regular basis, and they do indeed calm me down tremendously. The great thing about them is that once you get good at doing it (a bit of practice needed, but not all that much) you can do them anywhere, anytime. In addition to the simple deep breathing, I do something called Yogic 3-part breath, or Durga (sp) breathing. In this breath you first release all air by breathing out and pulling your tummy in, then breathe in, allowing the breath to fill your lower abdomen first, then bringing the breath into your upper abdomen, then into your chest (you may actually feel the breath heading towards your shoulders). You then breath out, SLOWLY, in reverse direction...from the upper chest, upper abdomen, and finally the lower abdomen. You can also hold the breath for a few seconds (or as long as you wish to) at the top of the breath, before breathing out. This expands your lungs and makes them capable of taking in even more air the next breath. For anyone who wants a guide to learn more breathing techniques, I'd suggest finding a yoga instructor who incorporates these into his/her classes. Best thing I ever did for myself was to start taking yoga lessons about 12 years ago. But you need to find the right instructor...don't go with anyone who teaches "power yoga" which is an oxymoron, lol, or anyone who simply does the same routine over and over again. The Kripalu method is very gentle and takes individual needs into consideration, so you might ask if the instructor is Kripalu-trained. Ruth |
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Good suggestion, Terri. Being a singer, I know the importance of making sure you're breathing correctly, but I forget to do it. My last semester in college I was taking both vocal classes and a karate class (for PE), and in each of them we concentrated on breathing techniques. It's amazing how much of a difference it makes. You can close your eyes and picture your lungs blowing up like balloons, making sure that the "bottom" fills up first. Concentrate on feeling your lungs and diaphragm expanding downward. Thanks for the good reminder..... Kim |
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I was on effexor for 6 years and now being off of it for 7 months, I miss it every day. Effexor helped me so much and the withdrawal symptoms are god awful. I would go back on it in a heartbeat, but the weight gain is what is keeping me from going back on it. I have lost 7 lbs since being off and gained much for than that while I was on it. The anxiety level since being off of it is HUGE and I worry about anything and everything. I think the change of seasons and less sun is not helping either. It all has to do with our serotonin levels. I see the endo on Monday and I know she will tell me to go back on as she does not believe it causes weight gain. I felt so at ease on the Effexor, so I am still in debate mode as to staying off of it. Life is so much more enjoyable being steady emotionally and not in constant anxiety mode and depression. Karen |
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Thanks for sharing Karen, I really, really hope that after I see the endo and find out where everything is and start sleeping normally again (don't know how long that will take or if I ever will like I did prior to that stupid pill I took) that I can wean back off of the Zoloft. My first priority is to get off of the Klonopin then hopefully the Lunesta and then Zoloft. How much weight did you gain on it over the 6 years? Do you feel if made you eat more? I've heard about those withdrawal effects too. Do you sleep ok now? Pam |
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Hi...I also haven't posted here in a looong time! This discussion touches me, because I just started therapy for anxiety/panic too, after refusing effexor from my GP, and I am starting to wonder if there IS a diabetes connection, even just in that we have to worry about our numbers so much, and what we eat and where the next meal is coming from when we're out, and if we have sugar with us, and did we forget our meter....etcetcetc....it is a very anxiety provoking illness to have. I had never considered that maybe it was a vitamin/mineral deficiency, so thanks for mentioning that. I do think it might be important to talk about diabetes in my own therapy sessions, because I do think it is a big part of my underlying anxiety. I have become a control freak, and don't deal well with situations I can't control. It has made me feel better in a way to read I am not the only one feeling this way...maybe we can all figure what to do together, and support each other? I am tired of being afraid all the time. heidi |
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Pam, I gained 20 lbs, but that could be a combo of old age, going on the pump, and the effexor, but why I lost 7 lbs. now is truly being off the effexor. Our whole family has sleeping issues and many of us are on Ambien, which I take every night. I am going to try Kim's suggestions, and try the Vit B and mag and also try to be more religious in my vitamin taking something that is hit or miss right now. Karen |
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Gee, I guess there's a lot of us that just want Santa to bring us relief and good sleep for Christmas! Pam |
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Hi Sarah and others who have posted,
I was really touched by your post and about feeling raw and stressed about sharing about diabetes with your counselor.
I wasn't diagnosed as a child, so I can't speak to that, but Sarah, you have mentioned at various times what a life-changing event it was to get diagnosed, how challenging it's been....Those are real experiences that have shaped who you are.
For me, if I think too hard about having diabetes (& a heart condition with a tiny, tiny risk of being fatal--but stilll....and a genetic pre-disposition to getting blood clots), it is in my face that I have a disease that impacts my quality of life and my life span. I get to confront this reality every meal, every time I exercise, everytime I go to sleep. Everyone who has diabetes gets this wake up call all the time.
It makes all of us careful to balance our lives. I think I can generally say that the diabetics I've met here on Diabetes Living don't take their lives for granted.
But, sometimes it's difficult to live with the reality of diabetes.
People who don't have diabetes or live with someone with diabetes don't get it.
Sarah, I understand how you feel about not wanting to talk about diabetes with the counselor, but I have to think that some of your anxiety may come from dealing with diabetes day in, and day out. It is real. It is a real stress DAILY, and you have been living with it almost all your life. Even if dealing with diabetes isn't causing the anxiety attacks, certainly having a low blood sugar/high blood sugar may contribute to making the anxiety worse.
I guess what I'm saying is that diabetes has taught me that everything is related: it's important to manage emotional health, physical health, what we eat, and what meds we take--I can't ignore one area if I want to have a healthy life.
So, I hope as you build a relationship with your counselor, you can figure out how diabetes fits in with your issues so that ultimately, you can relieve yourself of the anxiety attacks and have a balanced life. Don't push yourself to share more than you're comfortable with, but a good counselor should be able to work with you to get things balanced emotionally.
Thanks for sharing with all of us. You've articulated how I feel sometimes talking to clueless but well-meaning people about diabetes who tell me I'm "brave" to take insulin shots every day. What else are we supposed to do??? I'm not brave--I'm mad but I want to stay alive.
Hang in there, Sarah. How was your Thanksgiving? I hope it was a a peaceful day.
HMBalison |
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Thanks Alison.....you always have just the right way of saying things! Thanksgiving day was peaceful...I cooked and then we went over to friends for dessert and drinks. Yesterday brought me a wonderful surprise, when at one of my jobs, I met a woman who was a drug rep and a mom to a Type 1 adult daughter, who had just had lazer surgery done on her eyes. The woman gave me a new Freestyle meter and a $100 of strips--free! I almost cried. How sweet was that? She also said some other wonderful things that she didn't have to.....just boosting my day in general. As for the therapist, I'm annoyed at her for other reasons too. Of course none of us like to hear any criticsms....or you could call them "observations"...but on one occassion she had said that I needed to motivate myself to move forward. I had complaining that at this stage in my life, I needed to be part of a bigger picture---whether work-wise or parenting--to see a purpose for me being here. I took offense to her saying I needed to motivate myself, when I motivate myself every day to test 8 times a day, correct when I'm high, go find a new job when I know it's time for a new challenge, rather than stay because it's "comfortable"....or take on a second any time that we need extra money, when all of my friends are sitting back in their $450,000 houses, bragging about everything they have......taking classes all the while to learn new things. I'd hardly call myself unmotivated. I'm just depressed. For this reason, I may look for a new therapist. I've given her a LOT of information, and just don't feel as if she's connecting the dots and giving me any useful feedback. I like her personally and worried that leaving would discourage her...she has confronted a lot of age discrimination for only being 27 years old, but I have to do what's going to work for me, right? Hugs! Sarah |
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Sarah,
Trust your instinct and get another therapist. It may have nothing to do with her being 27, but it may have everything to do with this. How much life experience does someone her age have? If nothing else, you're not connecting with her, and that is CRITICAL if she is to help and guide you.
Glad to hear that you enjoyed Thanksgiving.
HMBalison |
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Sarah, I whole heartedly agree with you and Alison and think that connecting with someone, is the only way a therapist can help! I am happy to hear your Thanksgiving was nice! Itsme Wayne |
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Sarah- As far as your original post goes, I can totally relate. I don't enjoy discussing my diabetes with non diabetics and when I do speak of it, I do so in a factual manner giving only the facts as I don't expect to be related to at all. As far as discussing my diabetes with a counselor or any health professional AT ALL..I always surprise myself at how emotional I become. I tend to either become angry or overly emotional and almost crying. I once went to a new general practictioner and my diabetes came up (of course) and before I knew it I was crying..I don't even know why! I also went to a counselor a while back and the entire reason for me being there was my diabetes! Along with marriage counseling and depression and other area's of stress, there are counselors that see those with chronic illnesses. I think I went twice. I was very defensive and emotional and I remember him telling me that I couldn't TRULY love myself unless I learned to love my diabetes. I still can't wrap my head around that concept. I believe I do love myself in spite of having diabetes. I believe you can have a child with a disability and love that child entirely without loving the disability. Anyhow, sorry for the ramble. Keep us posted on what you decide to do. Glad you enjoyed your Thanksgiving. I just got back from Hawaii yesterday (Tuesday) and it was wonderful to wear shorts and a tank top and enjoy warm weather while eating turkey. Christine |
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| | From:  Gayle58 | Sent: 12/4/2008 3:36 PM |
Sarah, it's about you and what you need, and a good therapist will understand that and not take it personally. Whatever you decide, I truly wish you the best. You seem like a good person and you deserve to be happy and to be able to enjoy life! Gayle |
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