Diabetes Living

I've been wanting to post for a long time over some stuff that's going on with me and Sarah's post has given me the courage. So, I explained awhile ago that I had to have my c6/c7 fused because of a severe herniated disc. Everything is going good there but I ended up with a issue that I would have/could have never thought would have happened. My primary dr. gave me something called Lyrica when I overdid it the 4th of July weekend. I already had the whole pinched nerve down the arm feeling but I had a bad few nights where I started getting muscle pain in the arm too and I was barely getting any sleep. I violated my own cardinal rule about researching drugs before taking them. After surgery, I never weaned off of the meds (never knew you had too and my primary doc never said a word about it) and had all the horrible side effects including insomnia, loss of appetite and anxiety. I wasn't even on it for that long or a big dose. I found out I'm not alone. It's been weeks now and I'm not sure if I still have the "withdrawal" issues or if I ended up getting so wound up that I can't calm down so I saw a psychiatrist yesterday (and am going to see a therapist-8 free visits courtesy of my employer) and started on Zoloft again (and the psychiatrist also shook his head when I told him I had taken Lyrica- he even said it is one messy pill) along with a very small dose of anti-anxiety med too that I had and have been taking small quantities throughout the day to keep calm. I'm also popping Lunesta at night and for the last couple of nights I've slept 5 hours straight before waking up, which beats the 2/3 hours I was getting. Again, it could be my brain "rewiring" itself after taking that poison or it could be be me calming down. And to top it off, I noticed that my bg's were higher back when I joined the gym and the whole neck fiasco started and I worked really hard at losing 20lbs before surgery (I mean I was barely eating anything and couldn't figure out how come it was so hard, turns out the number one complaint of Lyrica is weight gain and swelling, so apparently starving myself is the only reason I wasn't gaining weight) After I stopped the Lyrica I dropped another 10 lbs from complete lack of appetite. So you would think with 30 lbs off in 3 months that my numbers would be better? Doesn't look like it. I don't mean they are super bad but eat more than a few carbs and up they go. I don't like/trust my primary anymore, so I made an appointment with my bil's endo (who also acts as a primary too) However, my appointment isn't until 12/22. I'm definately going to be doing a c-peptide test to see if my pancreas is juiced out and maybe if I'm calmer by then my numbers might be better? It's just a lot of stress to carry around. I get paranoid about even eating and then having to check my levels. I'm just wondering if I do find out that my pancreas is tuckered out, should I try Prandin or Starlix or save what I have left or maybe even a small Lantus dose to act as a base? My numbers seem to go higher without much effort in the am and are more steady around dinner time. I'm now on Janumet and Actos. I just feel out of control again (just like almost 7 years ago when I was first diagnosed) and this will sound dumb, but I like the weight I'm at now. I've always joked that anxiety is the only thing that really revs up my metabolism and I could easily lose another 10 lbs without even trying right now. It's all I can do to get 1000 calories in me because I don't want to see my sugar level's hit over 200 and I can't get up and walk 20 minutes every time I eat. I want to eat real food and be able to enjoy it. I'm just scared of taking insulin injections.

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