Venting is a good thing to do sometimes Karen. 

My mil used to call my kids little shits and she didn't mean anything by it except that they were being naughty, and she was usually laughing when she said it.  I would NEVER have taken her aside and corrected her.  I used to tell my kids that I was going to kill them.  Doesn't mean I ever would.  Geez...some people can be so grumpy!  I have a sil that is a jerk too.  Maybe they are cut from the same cloth!  

Better to vent to us than to blow up at the SIL and jeopardize your position with  Sam.

Sam is such a little sweetheart,  I know you would be devastated to have a wedge placed between you and him.

I would be livid if I knew my daughter's  inlaws referred to her a Trailer Park Trash. The nerve!

How did you find out about that?

Anyway, I know how you feel about your SIL. It is really hard to take a back seat and bite your tongue when it is your own daughter.

I have no words of wisdom to offer but I am glad you haven't blown up at him.  You were smart not to lash out.

It might feel good for the moment,  but it wouldn't  do any good in the long run.

 

Hey Karen.......vent vent vent.  Joan is right, better to vent to us than let sil know anything you are feeling.  He'd probably twist it around anyway!

 

and aren't all kids "lil shits"?  I'm sure whatever you said wasn't meant to harm Sam and sil knows that.  He just wants to make you feel/look bad in his eyes.  Well love is in the eye of the beholder and sam loves you so sil can take that handbasket to "hello"!

 

Yenna, I told my kids they would be lucky to see their next birthday!  But they always did!

 It always makes me feel better to vent! It always seem to help to get some input from your friends. Hope things get better.

Sandini

I'll play devil's advocate here.

 

  Were you angry when he didn't eat the banana he begged for? Sometimes we don't realize how what we say sounds to other people; kind of like how hard it is to express humor, or sarcasm or other easily misinterpreted emotion.

 

  Has your SIL done (or said) anything to lead you to believe he loves his son less than your daughter does?

 

Sometimes if I just plain dislike someone, every little thing they do irks me. It's almost like I wait for them to do or say something stupid. What they do may not be so bad if someone else did it, but that fact that they did it makes it worse.

 

Just another point of view.

Sounds like your SIL.....is trying to find his footing..asserting himself......in his newfound role as father....but he's a bit misguided here.....because he has to know in his heart that you adore that child.  I've seen new parents...say and do stupid things they regret later...as they become more experienced...and more secure in their role as parent. 

 

However....for someone who seems ultra-sensitive...to a harmless playful comment....he ought be more sensitive...to such terms as "trailer trash."  Am I wrong when I guess that there's a maturity issue here......as well as some bad habits brought from home.  (what are his parents thinking?  shame on them....)  There's no excuse for that.

 

I'm sorry he hurt your feelings...........I would have been upset too.  But I'm glad Sam has such a wonderful loving gramma  :-)