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My older sister is always starting kaos in the family. I know she has a hard life. (her dh had a heart attack and lost 25 years of memory) But there is no excuse for rudeness or hanging up the phone on our Mom for stupid things! I am so tired of "keeping the peace" and trying to understand her when I am fed up with her antics and jealousy over Moms and my relationship. Now she is mad that Mom is going to be spending two weeks with me. I doubt she will ever grow up. I always find it within me to forgive and forget but am sick of it all. Just venting......................... |
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| Get all that anger out, or else poor Mum will feel bad about having time with you alone. Try and ignore the child like tantrums of your sister. I think in every family there is a peace maker, and maybe that is your role. Hard as it is. |
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Your sister is acting incredibly immature and I doubt that her jealousy over your relationship with your mother is going to go away. In fact, my guess is that she'll nurture it even after your mom is gone. Does she enjoy playing the martyr? I think I would sit down and write her a letter telling her how you feel and how unfair it is to punish your mother, if, in fact her beef is with you. Does she have children? If so, would she want her son or daughter to treat her the way she treats your mom? I have a brother who loves to play the martyr role and has chosen to sever himself from our entire family with the exception of our mother. Once she is gone, I know he is going to regret his actions, but...as my grandfather used to say "you make your bed and you have to sleep in it". Don't let her get to you, Wanda and enjoy your relationship with your mother for as long as you can. |
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Kiwi- Barb She is the eldest of 5 siblings and has always had this tantrum behavior. As she got older it esculated into bigger things. Her jealousy of me has been there forever it seems like. She has no children. I have tried talking to her about how lucky we are to have Mom, perfect health, etc and to treasure each day we have with her. My sister lives 15 minutes from Moms home and never goes to see her. I live about 1600 miles away and try my best to visit as often as I can. I've told her she will regret her actions one day and she just laughs at me.. I will definitely have fun with Mom here. We plan on spoiling her big time. Thanks! |
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She sounds like an emotional mess Angelbear but you can't let her tear you down. She is the only one that can make things better in her life so enjoy your time with mom without worrying about her. Life is too precious ...enjoy, be happy. |
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Enjoy your relationship with your mom while you have her.Older siblings are generally jealous of the others.They think you stole her place in the family.Ignore your sister and live your life.This is my opinion. Heavy Ginger |
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Doesn't she realize how much energy & time she is wasting on being angry. It's too bad some people never grow up. When she starts, tell her you have to hang up the phone. If you don't listen to her complaining she might get it. At least you get along with the rest of the family. |
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She is certainly acting in a childish manner. I am glad you are not letting it poison your relationship with your mother. It must be so frustrating to have such an unreasonably jealous sister. |
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angelbear is this the same sister that has all the money and does not have any kids? She is so unhappy with herself and takes it out on the whole family. I don't feel one bit sorry for her. Can you totally not have anything to do with her? Have you told her she needs to go see a shrink? How does this affect your mom? My older sister and I have serious issuses as well and how I deal with her is I don't have anything to do with her period. She is very difficult to deal with my brother is estranged from her as well. I totally understand your frustration. People like her can cause so much unneccessary pain and anquish. There is no end to it . Limit the time and energy you spend on this woman. Forgive her and then forget her I know it easier said than done don't let her get you down because that is exactly the reaction she wants you hang in there angelbear |
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| | | From: deb | Sent: 10/15/2008 10:43 PM |
i, too, understand your frustration ... hang in there ... and vent here as much as it takes ... great listening ears here ... i know that, too ...  |
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| | | From: lindush | Sent: 10/16/2008 1:37 AM |
Why do you even bother with her?YOU have the power to surround yourself with the people of your choice .Just because she's family doesn't mean you have to endure her bad behavior.Don't deal with her unless she's civil- and tell her so! As was wonderfully said, forgive her and forget her... and don't trouble yourself with her relationship with your mother- you can't change her. Me, I'd laugh in her face at her sad, pathetic self and make it VERY well known her attitude effects NO ONE.I simply wouldn't give her that power any longer. |
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Bandy- I will not distance myself because she is my sister and I am truly all about family. What I will do is pull back, not always answer the phone and if need be tell her I am hanging up when I can't tolerate her. We've had some wonderful conversations and I love that side of her. Yes she is the one who has mega millions and no kids. Lindush- I love your answer. That is exactly what my other sister is doing about it. She has not spoken to her in three years and feels great about it. I am the one who always try to work it out and move forward. I can't tell you how many times I have done this over my adult years. I will reread your post many times and see if I can do this to her. I raised my voice to her for the first time the other night and she hung up. So I guess it could work for me. Thanks everyone! Angelbear |
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