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Member's Poems : The Last Paragraph
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 Message 1 of 6 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameStarlight0162  (Original Message)Sent: 6/6/2002 7:22 PM
From: Granny  (Original Message) Sent: 5/30/2002 11:46 AM
 
Dedicated in Loving Memory of Our Mother
Alma Rachel Gober Tillman
April 23, 1910 - March 29, 1988
 

"The Last Paragraph"

Author Betty Rose Brown© 2-1-02

I’ve had a real hard time writing this story. I guess it is because, subconsciously, I was dreading the last paragraph. It’s, as if writing that paragraph would make it so. Her loss has been difficult to bare. It was like �?if I didn’t write the words, Mother would still be here. Oh, I know she is in heaven, but writing is a form of release, and I was afraid that when I wrote of her death �?I would no longer feel her comforting presence.

The Story is for our family web site. It is finished, hand written in a draft �?which I had no problem with. I had entered the story into my computer, down to the last paragraph. Suddenly, I could feel the anxiety building as I entered the first few words that read; ‘In the late evening hours of March 29, 1988�?�?I could not go on, because the words would say that my Mother, did in fact die.

I began to tremble. My eyes burn as I tried to hold back the tears. My entire body goes weak and shaking with a force, I could not control. Then I saw my Mother’s Bible on the desk. Slowly reaching out, I placed my hand on the Bible. Instantly, I felt the comfort of her presence. It was as if she was standing beside me. I did not look up. From past experiences, I knew she wouldn’t be there. Clutching her Bible to my chest, I whispered ‘Oh Mama,�?letting the flood of grief consume me. Moments later, still clutching the Bible, I crossed the room and stood before her picture. Lifting the frame to kiss her smiling face, I heard her voice softly say, �?I>It’s alright Honey �?It’s alright.�?/P>

Returning to my desk, I set the picture down, while slowly lowering myself to the chair. Carefully turning the tattered black cover, I opened the Bible. The pages are brittle now. The paper is yellow and old. I began to read, and there on the first three pages, is our family records- in her handwriting.

It starts with the date of her first marriage, followed by the names and birth dates of their seven children. One of these only lived six weeks. In the margin is a footnote that reads ‘four miscarriage’s�? (The two oldest one’s are gone now, too. The remaining four is in their late sixties and early seventies). I don’t know what happened to this marriage, she did not tell me and I personally, never asked.

I paused to wipe the tears that blurred my vision-so I could continue to read. I could still feel her here with me. The next entry was the date she married my Father, the names and birth dates of their five children, written below. The first is JD. I couldn’t read for the tears came again. I whispered, "Oh God, I can’t do this." I could feel Mother’s comforting presence, encouraging me to continue reading - "JD born March 28,1942, drawn May 17, 1955." He was two years older than I am. Trying hard not to loose control again, I read the last four names and birth dates.

I lay the Bible down on the desk, still open. Went to the kitchen to get a drink of water, my throat was so dry. I returned to my desk, stood looking down on the page. I studied her hand writing a moment, ‘she had a beautiful penmanship�? I thought to myself, then I turned the page.

I have read her entries many times before �?even taken this Bible with me to church on Mother’s Day. So it was no surprise to see what was on this page. ‘The Holy Bible, Old and New Testaments, in the King James Version. Giant Print Edition, words of Christ in Red.�?All printed in large bold black letters. Also, placed at different angles around those words, are circled 2 or 3 line messages, written to each of her ten remaining children. In closing, a prayer is written underneath these messages. "Dear Father most Holy and Righteous, in the name of our precious Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Lead, guide and direct my children’s foot steps. Keep your arms around them, until they meet you face to face. Ever live in their Hearts, Mind and Soul. Bless all my Grandchildren; help them to grow up to serve you, always. I thank you Lord for all my Children and Grandchildren. They have each been a Blessing untold to me. I pray and ask this all in the name of Jesus. Amen."  (continued in next post-chapter 2)


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From: Granny Sent: 5/30/2002 12:00 PM

"The Last Paragraph"  chapter 2

 

My fingers twitched as I began typing the page needed for the web site:

Alma Rachel Gober Tillman

April 20, 1910 - March 29, 1988

Child of God

Our Mother was an awesome lady of devout faith, tremendous love, and great strength. In her 78 years, Mother would weather the storms of life with great determination and grace. She devoted her life to God and her children. Being a single parent, Mother ‘dared to be different�? and did her parenting the only way she knew how �?and that was "by the Book." She often quoted scriptures of discipline from that ‘Book�? If we misbehaved, she tore our tails up.

Her children would be her happiness, and would be heartache, as some of us were still unsaved. She always said, "God promised, if I live for him, he will save my whole household." I am happy to say that he let her live to see that day. This is her legacy.

Born in Comanche County, Texas �?to Rufus Smith Gober and Minnie Emmaline James Gober. They had three boys and five girls; Alma was their fourth. Mrs. Nettie Mae Gober Lawson, of Brownwood, Texas, is the baby of the family and the soul survivor.

Alma, at age14 and Monroe Vanoy Felts were married from 1924 to 1940. They lived in Texas and had eleven children (four of these were miscarriages).

Alma, at the age of 31, and William Henry Bishop, were married from 1941 to 1952. They lived in Texas and had five children.

Alma, at the age of 59, and Slim Tillman, were married in 1969, in Texas. He died in 1970. They had no children.

Mother lived for her God �?who carried her through troublesome waters and the valley of the shadows of death numerous times. In her lifetime, she would experience the loss of her younger sister, Leta Gober, who died from meningitis at age 9; also, six, of her sixteen children, her parents and her husband Slim Tillman. She would defy death for herself, through cancer and several heart attacks, and for her sixteenth child, who was born 3 months premature. Through it all, she never wavered from the faith instilled in her as a child.

The stories of her childhood were of a close knit �?God fearing �?family. Her favorite stories she told were going to ‘Brush Arbor�?camp meetings in a covered wagon, and how the spirit of God moved. People were healed and souls were saved. She spoke of the family prayer closet. It was a place to pray without being disturbed. She told of hardships during the Great Depression and the Texas droughts. All the stories ended with how God always made a way, through his mercy, and made them all stronger in their faith and in their love for each other.

Mother was a very talented artist and writer. She only finished the 8th grade, however, she continued to educate herself in the arts. Mother could draw or paint anything. She wrote songs, poems, prose, and short stories. Her dream was to someday publish her work �?she would not realize her dream, �?because most of her work was destroyed in a house fire. She passed these talents on to her children and told us, "talent is a gift from God �?and to always give him the glory for your accomplishments." Most evenings we all set on the front porch, playing guitars and singing. The little ones would chase fireflies. Daisies were her favorite flowers. No matter where we lived, she would plant daisies. She loved big shade trees, too.

Mother had a great sense of humor. At times she was down right hilarious, with the come here ‘roll call�? She had a certain sequence of names for each of us. Mine was �?"Sandy, Shirley, Marty, Sue" �?"I mean, Betty Rose." Then she’d say, "I swuny, I don’t know what makes me do that."

Words can not express Mother’s courage or her love for God and family. Her children and friends adored her. Her grandchildren and great grandchildren worshiped her.

In the late evening hours of March 29, 1988, Mother had a heart attack and the angels took her home. She is now with her Lord and the babies she never stopped grieving for. The body of, Reverend Alma Rachel Gober Tillman, was laid to rest in the Greenleaf Cemetery at Brownwood, Texas, on Easter Sunday.

She was an Evangelist of the Pentecostal faith, was Pastor the Brick Yard Church, in Brownwood, Texas, in the mid-fifties. Her spirit still lives on in her descendants, who with great respect and gratitude dedicate this web site to the glory of God, in her honor and, the honor of all Mothers.

After a few minutes, I closed the Bible. Mother’s prayer had given the courage I needed, to finish writing - the last paragraph.

 1st Place winner MSU Cultural Arts Writing Short Story/Essey Award 2002.



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From: MSN Nicknamebase301Sent: 8/22/2003 4:42 AM
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