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| | From:  ¤pØ®®ĬÐĢĔ¤ (Original Message) | Sent: 11/27/2002 1:26 AM |
I am not here to dissrespect members to but understand you..... Hello to "HOH" members.....I will be upfront and probably blunt but please don't ban me as I NEED TO UNDERSTAND how and why people have a habit . I am very open minded but I want to understand why and what reasons you have become addicted to heroin! I am not a user and hope none of you are offended by this. In the last 2 months I have become very close to a friend who was a user ( clean for about 4.5 months now)..... Can any of you please help me to understand the in's and out's of herion using. I have children and seeing them grow is more than enough to make me content. Yes there are days where I feel like chit but it's just a day, tomorrow is a new day. You hold your future in your own hands and you can make it what you want to. I don't need to use any drug to make my days seem clearer or pain free. What keeps you wanting more heroin ? Why do you feel you need to use it ? What does it do for you ? feelings ? Why and what feelings you need to numb for the continued use of it ? What are some peoples different withdrawl symptoms ? I hope I am not asking too many questions Just if anybody is willing enough to explain their habit to me so I can try to understand why you need to use a drug to "blur / erase" the past or current problem or just feel good about yourself. I have read a lot about heroin use and different peoples reasons for the use and the way it can stem from "child abuse" or a "bad upbringing" or "just because you can" ... I know the list goes on and on but I would really like to understand each and every individuals opinions about their use.... I read an Australian book about a heroin user and her lifestyle leading up to, during and after the longest given jail sentence given in Victoria, Australia for a woman charged with drug possession... "Helen Barnacle " Don't Let Her See Me Cry", Bantam Books. I don't know if any of you have read it but I read it in approx 5 days. I couldn't put it down. I needed to understand how this drug worked but their wasn't enough information about "personal feelings" from the drug. I hope I am able to continue talking to you all. Thank you......... Porridge! |
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Dear Jen,
I read the response from Porridge and was waiting to hear
another perspective.
Let me start by telling you that my son died of a heroin
overdose 5 weeks ago today. My heart is broken and now I am left to
understand. His story is a little different. I can't not find any
reason for him to start using heroin other than maybe he was bored and thought
it was fun. I don't think he ever felt like he fit in as he got
older.
He comes from a middle class family, first child of
four. My husband and I have been married for 26 years and we thought we
had the perfect life.
I feel desperate to know why a boy with his circumstances
would get so deep into drugs. I have a 22 year old daughter that
experiemented with drugs also. I have a 10 year old daughter and a
13 year old son who I am terrified for.
After my son decided he was truly addicted and got tired
of chasing the drugs he checked himself into re-hab. That was last
April. After that he was so depressed and he has said on more than one
occasion that he felt like he was in a dark hole and didn't know how to get
out. If only he had more time. He fell off the wagon so to speak a
few days before the overdose. My husband caught him smoking crack in the garage
at 4:30 in the morning. I laid into him bigtime. I wish I would of
been more understanding and approach it as a mistake and lets move
on.
There isn't much I can do about it now. He
left a few days later and was missing for 10 days. He was found overdosed
one day after he left our house but nobody bothered to call his family
until the 10th day.
One thing that I have learned through all of this is that most
people treat addicts with despice.
Maybe through my son people will look at addiction a little
differently.
I watched a movie called trainspotting the other day and I can
see what a pull the addiction would have on somebody.
Sounds like you are on the right track. Hopefully things
go good for you in your new life and God Bless you, Karen
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Wednesday, November 27, 2002 6:19
AM
Subject: Re: ~Information Please~
~Information Please~
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| From: Jenbl4 |
Hi Porridge,
I am fairly new to
this group, but since I've joined I've noticed that there's a
few people who aren't addicts here, but have been affected by it
in some way or are just curious. I think it's safe to say that
no one here minds if people like yourself join. Infact, in my
opinion, I think it's great that you're here. Having people from
all walks of life gives depth and richness to discussions.
Anyway, I'll attempt to answer some of your questions by using
my experience with heroin addiction. I have a feeling this may
be a long post. Just to warn you now.
First, I'm female and
30 years old. Presently, I'm on a methadone program. I have been
for almost 5 years. When I first got on I almost immediately
stopped using and was clean for 2 years til I decided to get off
by using a wacky treatment that was in experimental stages and
illegal in this country. I won't go into that right now though.
Unfortunately, the treatment was a disaster and after a
miserable couple months off methadone I made the decision to get
back on. Now I've been clean for another 2 years and I'm doing
better than ever. Methadone isn't for everyone, but it has
helped me immensely. I do plan on getting off someday and I'm in
the process of slowly lowering my dose. So, I just wanted to
give you an idea of my present circumstances before I go
on.
I started using heroin when I was 18. As far as my
childhood goes, there were some really great parts but also some
damaging parts. I moved a lot so I was constantly trying to
adapt to my surroundings and was never able to develop an
identity as a child. I was pretty scattered. I was molested by a
baby sitter when I was 4ish, which I think has caused some
sexual issues for me. I watched my father smoke a lot of pot a
snort coke, but still be successful in life which I believe
helped to destigmatize drugs in my mind. I remember saying at
about 12 - 13 that I intended to try drugs to see what they were
like. When I was 17 I was raped and I think that's when things
really went down hill for me. I just want to say that I have a
really great relationship with my mom and step father and I feel
fortunate that I have such a strong support system in them. Many
people don't have that luxury.
Anyway, by the time I was 18 I
was a mess, but didn't realize it. I became very promiscuous and
had been drinking and doing speed etc. But it wasn't really to
the point of being problematic. I didn't really like any of the
drugs I had tried... til I found heroin. It made me feel great.
Sure when I first started I would just lay around puking every
30 minutes for hours on end, but I felt this warm contentedness
that was like nothing I had ever experienced. Without heroin I
was antsy and scattered I constantly needed excitement and never
felt satisfied. I was so out of touch with myself and heroin
helped me to stay out of touch. Like I said, I didn't know I was
in pain. I just knew that heroin made me feel perfect and dreamy
and I never wanted it to end. The first time I did it I hit
myself (shot up) and I loved it. My friend and I would shoot
cold water when we didn't have dope just because we liked the
whole process. Anyway, eventually I got strung out. It happened
slowly. I would come home from work with a back ache and just
feel generally crappy. When I'd do a shot of dope this crappy
feeling would dissipate immediately. I wouldn't just feel fine,
I felt wonderful. When you get to the piont with heroin where
you're not really sick but just achy when you're not high, the
full blown physical addiction is right around the corner. You
don't realize it til it's to late though. I don't think you can
fully grasp the idea of physical addiction and withdrawal til
you've experienced it. When you're dope sick (in withdrawal)
every fiber of your being is screaming out for relief and you
know the ONLY form of relief is more dope. So, needless to say,
I got strung out. I held a job for the first couple years, and
struggled along. But eventually everything fell apart. My
parents found out, I was fired from my job, my roomate
threatened to kick me out and I started losing my friends,
except the ones I used with. I knew I needed help. So I made a
really stupid decision and decided to move to New York City
(from Seattle WA) to get away from dope. The Lower East Side
(where I moved) of Manhatten at that time was an open air drug
market. Dope, Coke, needles were sold on every other block. The
dope and coke was half the price it was back in Seattle and
better quality. I'm going to make a long story short here
because so much happened and I could go on forever. Within a
couple months of being in NY I was a homeless prostitute. I had
lost everything. I was by myself except for the band of "old
boys" I stayed with at night at a little camp in East River
Park. Here I was a 22 year old little white girl hanging out
with homeless men twice my age. Looking back, I don't know that
person. Let me tell you, no one ever plans on being on the
street, and 95% of the people that are there came from back
grounds just like you and I. There is no "street person" type.
This is so weird to re-live. It's been a long time since I've
talked about this. A lot of really bad stuff happened during
this time. And I'm lucky I'm where I am today. One thing though
is that I never stole from anyone. The only person I ever harmed
was myself. If I thought I was in pain before... that was
nothing compared to in NY. I created this dynamic for myself
where in the process of trying to numb pain, more pain was
produced. It became a vicious cycle.
People who knew me then,
wouldn't recognize me in a million years now. I'm engaged, go to
college. I have a 3.87 GPA and I'm studying International
Relations. My fiance and I just bought a new car and we're
looking to buy our first house. I have a great relationship with
my family and his and great friends. And I'm a good mom to my
dog.
Well, I'm getting a little tired of typing. I hope I
answered at least some of your questions. I'll respond later
about the different withdrawal symptoms. I think it's wonderful
that you want to know more about this. I'm sure more people will
respond to give you more insight.
Oh, one more thing. I
wouldn't trade any of my experiences for the world. They've
helped me to be the person I am today, who by the way I really
like.
Take
Care,
Jen | |
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Heroin addiction- Heroin is mentally and physically addictive. Once a person starts using on a frequent basis they become physically dependant on it. If they do not use they experiance painful withdrawal symptoms such as: muscle aches-insomnia-severe anxiety-vomitting-stomach aches-loose bowels-restlessness-chills-sweats. Heroin belongs to the opiate family of drugs. There are natural opiates, semi natural, and synthetic. Opiates derive from the poppy plant. Here are some known opiates-heroin-opium-morphine-various pain pills such as Vicoden-Percocet-Codeine-and many more. Why do people use heroin? Well it differs from person to person. Most people enjoy the high and like not feeling any pain-emotional or physical. Also most people continue to use out of fear of withdrawal. They use to stay well. Why do people start? I started because I was in a low point in my life. I was having family problems and boyfriend problems. I was in a very self destructive phase. Heroin was offered to me and I tried it. I had used other drugs for years and I thought heroin was the baddest of all drugs. I was curious. I continued to use it because I liked the high and it killed any anxiety and emotional pain I had. I became addicted and then I used because I didn't want to get sick. Everyone uses for different reasons. I am currently not using, I haven't used in over a year. I tried many forms of treatment. Inpatient, outpatient treatment, detox, 12 step groups, sheer willpower, changing where I lived, changing friends, everything. I tried methadone treatment as a last resort and it has worked for me. I intend to stay on until I feel truely confident that I can stay clean on my own. Building a good support group, being emotionally stable, living in a good enviroment, associating with people that do not use drugs, replacing old bad habits with new good habits, becoming a active member of society such as working and or going to school, these are things that really make a difference. I have come along way and I think I will start detoxing around spring. Most people on this site are currently not using but have used in the past. Feel free to ask ??? Thunderkiss |
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Thank you Jen, Loving mum and Thunderkiss, for replying. I am glad to know I wasn't taken for a fool. Thank you. How can you have the need to feel "warm" ( by heroin ) by fooling your true emotional feelings when you can feel that way when you recieve affection by someone you love and loves you back and knowing : : That you have unconditional love : They smile and return your smile and you feel butterflies inside : That you have that contented feeling with every breath you take : Feel lost when they walk out of sight and your heart skips a beat everytime you see them again : Would sacrifice almost anything for them : Their touch makes you feel whole : Look in their eyes and see something special, that noone else ever has : To think of ways to keep them in your life ( geniunly ) so you can feel excepted without rascism. Geez that almost sounds like a habit in itself. I know a lot of you may not have that love in your lives but there has to be something else that you can do to feel accepted within yourself, reguardless of any situation. You have to understand yourself and be true to yourself before you turn to such a habit like heroin.... I know I may sound all "everything is alright" but there is something / someone else in your life that can give you that guidance... I am trying to understand this habit but I can't see why you need the drug.... there are so many things to do in your life.... think of something you haven't done before and want to do it, with a passion! I have been told about some people with a habit that can pay anything up to $500+ (AUS) a day. OMG!! I wouldn't know what to do with that amount money... anytime! I am totally speechless! Why can't people be constructive with that amount of money and use it to do things you haven't done before, get things they haven't been able to aquire through their lives. I think I am fighting a loosing battle trying to get the grasp of herion use but I suppose it is a case of " you have to try it, to understand it". Porridge! Dazed and confused.........still! |
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Every heroin user will probably have their own reasons, and answers to your questions. Here is mine. First off, I'm a 25 year ole female, and I've been totally clean and sober for over 4 years. I started using drugs when I was 10, back then it was pills and booze. I didn't realize it at the time, but I was undiagnosed and suffering from clinical depression. I believe I was self medicating. Anyway, throughout my teens I switched from drug to drug. Sometimes it was escape, a lot of the time it was partying. After high school I started doing a lot of cocaine and ectasy. One night, after being awake about 5 days, I decided to try heroin to try to calm down and hopefully sleep. At the time I was very nihilistic and somewhat suicidal, and I really didn't care about the consequences. From the first time I did it, I knew heroin was my new favorite drug. At first I didn't understand why it had such a bad reputation. I didn't get sick right away, and it was a lot mellower than crack. Aside from the puking when when I used, it was like a lucid, vivid dream. I remember thinking it was kind of funny how my skinny little body seemed so heavy, I didn't know it was the beginning of dopesickness. I had a lot of money at the time from an insurance settlement, and I was selling pot, so I didn't have anything stopping me from using as much as I wanted. College fell away, my job disappeared, and I lost interest in friends and a social life. I just stayed in my apartment with my boyfriend and did dope. It got to the point that I couldn't really get high anymore without going under. I ended up in the emergency room several times, all in an attempt to not be dopesick. I tried detox 4 times, always leaving as soon as I could stand just to do a little, but ending up just as wired. Then the money ran out, and things went got a lot worse. I lost my apartment, and crossed a lot of lines I said I would never cross. Day to day life was an absolute nightmare, and even though I desperatly wanted to quit, I couldn't get a single day clean. Finally I managed to make it through the detox, and I went through treatment and then a recovery house for 6 months. The first months were reallly horrible, my body ached and felt heavy for weeks after the intial detox, my hair fell out in clumps, and I didn't sleep much for months. Still I craved dope constantly. I relapsed for a year, and used for the last time Aug, 1998. The next couple year were slow and difficult. I got treatment for my depression, went to NA, and hung out with supportive people. Even though it's been a few years, heroin is still part of my life because I still here about friends dying, and I still get nightmares about being dopesick and unable to score. I don't regret anything though, because I have experienced some crazy extremes and I think it has made me really strong. Feel free to ask any other questions you have. I only used heroin for a year and a half, so I'm certainly not an expert, but I will be happy to answer as best as I can. -Curiosity |
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Porridge,
Everything you are saying is absolutely correct unless you are
a addict. I know you have seen my messages. I am the Mom who's son
died of a drug overdose 5 weeks ago. I have learned thru everything that
my son hated his addiction and would of done everything to end it including
death. In the perfect world there would be no heroin. I don't know
what the answer is. My Son had a girlfriend who loved him very much who he
loved more than life itself. The pull of the drug is stronger that
anything. I don't know from experience I only know what I saw from
witnessing my Son.
All you can do is support the addict and hope that they live
each and every day sober.
When I get stronger emotionally I think I will volunteer for
some sort of drug treatment center.
Thanks for listening Karen |
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I agree with Karen, totally. I lost my brother from a Heroin over dose, and I didn't know anything about drugs, until he died. I have talked with so many people and also know from experience how a drug...any drug...not just Heroin takes over you. It is understandable to not see how this can happen, if you have never witnessed it. These people DO NOT "want" to be addicted to Heroin. Karen is right...they would rather die than continue to fight this addiction...which IS a disease. This is probably why so many people that do it..they rarely tell anyone that truly cares about them, that they have a problem. They are ashamed. I took a bad road when my brother died, that I am not proud of. I never did Heroin, but the few things I did do, I can see how a person can try something, and it take over them. It is a long, tough road, that is soooooo easy to get on, but so much harder to get off of. Some obviously never do. You may not understand how someone can do drugs..no matter what kind..to make the pain go away, but trust me.. for a while, you honestly feel like you are coping with what has happened. you are numb, so you don't hurt like you normally would be. I am not saying it is a good idea, NOT AT ALL!!! But, after what I have been through, which was obviously the road I was meant to take, right or wrong in anyone's eyes, but I wouldn't change that part, because I learned so much about how this happens. It wasn't that my brother, or Karen's son, or anyone else didn't care about how we felt about what they were doing. (Although I did feel like that for so long!!) They are good people, just like anyone else...probably even more so, in some ways..but they are human too, and we ALL make mistakes..they just made one that cost them their life. You don't see anyone judging someone that has died from Cancer, or any other disease, so how is it so easy to judge someone for addiction, which is also a disease????? The families of addicts hurt just as bad as people that lose loved ones from other reasons. And no matter what, I am pretty sure there is ALOT of guilt in those families. Feelings of, "Why didn't I know?", "What if I had just...", "Why didn't he trust me enough to tell me?' And the worst one I can think of, which the list goes on..."Oh my gosh, I can not believe that was one of the last things I said to him?' Trust me, we get very irritated and say so many things that we don't mean, HOPING it will somehow make them see how bad they are hurting us. It's like, they are killing us with their disease. We are helpless. My twin sister is addicted to speed... I have seen what it has done to her, and I know she wants to be clean..but for some reason...she always goes back..it's because she is an addict. Our family doesn't even feel like a family anymore. We aren't even having Thanksgiving, because it has gotten so bad. I am not meaning to come across as being rude. I know how it is hard to understand something like this, and that is why you asked, but I have been on both sides. Mainly, I just needed to get this all out. No hostility directed at anyone...it has just been a very bad week. I knew it was getting worse, when I got phone call Saturday, from a drug dealer, saying he was going to kill my sister..then went on to say he knew where I lived and that I have a 1 year old little boy, and he wouldn't stop with him... Ya know, we had NO idea what he was even talking about. I was scared to death..and the other bad part... the cops, where I live didn't care at all.. thought it was a big joke.. I didn't mean to get off on this whole subject. I hate drugs and what they do to people...AND families. This is killing me, even knowing that my sister would have never turned into the person she is today..if it wasn't for drugs. You get so caught up in how much better you "think" you are feeling and somewhere lose sight of what you are doing to the people around you. It is sad, but people never "intend" to become addicts.. but it happens so fast... Sorry, ya'll..just having a VERY hard time..I think I may have started with good intentions, but I guess I just needed to vent, because I feel so helpless knowing there is nothing I can do to help her. Hope I haven't offended anyone. I have just learned recently how much better it is to say what you are feeling, and not just play like you are ok, to protect everyone from seeing the pain that is SO real! I have just about given up, and feel bad, but I can't sit back and watch what is happening. Does anyone have any advice? I sit and think of ways to talk to her, since I didn't have that chance with my brother..and NO MATTER how I say something...out of concern, she ends up screaming and yelling at me...Throwing things up to me that I have done...most of it a LONG time ago, and she does that to everyone. Trying to justify what she is doing.. I admit I am no angel, but after everything she is lost, she needs to see that there comes a time when you have to say..."My gosh. I am adult now..(she is almost 30)" And stop blaming everyone else that has come along for being the way she is. I know it is the drug and YES, it makes me VERY mad, but I also know she is hurting deep down, but I CAN NOT SAVE HER.. (unless someone has some advice I haven't thought of). Ok, I will stop with the sob story. I think I am just thinking out loud. Thanks for listening to me ramble on..
Christi If anyone wants to email me, my address is
[email protected] I can use ANY help you may have.
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| | | From: Jude | Sent: 11/28/2002 5:25 AM |
Hi. I started a new thread with this same post just to be sure you got this message, as I am not addicted to heroin but wanted you to know there are opiate addict who hear you. Here's my post: " Why would we "ban" you for asking questions? It's okay. Ask away; if no one wants to speak up, they won't. I don't think anyone here will blast you for wanting information. And from what I have already seen there has been a lot of response to your inquiry. I am not a heroin addict. But I am an opiate addict. You can go back through the archives and see some of my posts. Most of them are very angry and not very nice. That's just the way it has been for me, as my addiction is not a very nice one. If you would like to ask me about it, please feel free. If I do not want to answer any questions you might have I will say so. I will tell you now that I have been lucky that I have not had heroin in front of me because I would have grabbed every crumb of it I saw. And I cannot say I would not do that same thing right now, nor would I do the same thing ten years from now. I am an addict But I am working on it. My name is Jude. Feel free to write to me. I'll try to tell you my truth. I don't think I'll lie to you, why would I? Your innocence touches me deeply. Your pain touches me deeper still. |
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In a message dated 11/27/02 8:08:46 PM Eastern Standard Time, [email protected] writes:
! I have been told about some people with a habit that can pay anything up to $500+ (AUS) a day
i had a gross habit of $600 US a day, its easy to accumulate a habit like that when u sell the junk, its like i heard one time.......dealers usually become their own best customers.
-becky |
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| | | From: leo | Sent: 11/28/2002 4:38 PM |
| TO: ??? couldn't read your name. Alot of people have alot of different reasons for using one of the most common reason is it numbs the pain. Pain can be one of many abuses it is amazing what the mind can do after you've been physically or sexually abused by someone you love and is "suppose" to love you. Alot of us have child hood trauma/memories that are hard to deal with it effects our self image, our self esteem it hurts our soul and is easier to just escape(by using) . I am glad that your children are enough to keep you content - your lucky, my children are what helped to get me clean but unfortunatley it was me who got me started and addicted. Leo |
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| | | From: leo | Sent: 11/28/2002 4:42 PM |
| P.S Porridge You'll never understand what it's like because you've never been through the trama of being addicted. So if that is what you are trying to do you have just given yourself a very big task that you will never truly know or understand because you haven't been there. Some people just like the feel of the dope there's no other reason then that but a warm feeling inside and a nod that lasts. Leo |
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i have never used heroin, but i can understand how a person can feel like it numbed their feelings. not everyone has a person in their life that loves them unconditonally, and if there isn't someone in your life like that, you can't go out and make it happen. it is impossible to understand, if you have never seen the pain of just everyday life. no one "wants" to be addicted to heroin..or anything else, for that matter, but unfortunatley, good people make bad choices...i know i have made my share, and so has everyone around me. I don't know of anyone that is perfect.. i think most of the heroin addicts i have met.. they want everyone to think they are so strong..they take on too much..when really, they can't face what is going on in their life..i have sat with so many people, since my brother died and listen to them cry and see the REAL pain on their faces..it breaks my heart..because they ALL want to stop using..or at least anyone i have known... they are willing to do whatever it takes to not have to continue this constant battle they are fighting..even if they have to die to get away.. i have known people that stop using for months...only to start back... it use to make me so mad...but they have seen friends die, and keep using, that tells me it can really take a hold on you and it is very possible to never be able to get away from it, no matter how hard you try. i will never know how a heroin addict REALLY feels.. or what makes them do it in the first place..i seriously doubt that anyone ever did it thinking..."i want to be a heroin addict...." it is a trap...yes, they decide to do it.. but we all make mistakes.. ... i could never judge someone that does it, because i haven't lived their life to know what pain they may have, or what even caused them to use.. all i know is i have seen enough people to know that it wasn't what they planned to happen in their life...
i am sure i have just rambled...as usual...but thought i could make a difference for everyone i have known that has suffered from this disease...including the families and friends of the user...it is not easy for any of us....
Donna A <[email protected]> wrote:
~Information Please~
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| From: wildlibr |
I'm way behind in my reading so someone may already have made this point. I
think a lot of addicts are afraid of the very feelings you describe. They
are scarry feelings and I can see where the warmth of heroin could, in a
twisted way, seem to have less strings than a true relationship.
>Message 5 in Discussion
>
>Thank you Jen, Loving mum and Thunderkiss, for replying. I am glad to know
>I wasn't taken for a fool. Thank you. How can you have the need to feel
>"warm" ( by heroin ) by fooling your true emotional feelings when you can
>feel that way when you recieve affection by someone you love and loves you
>back and knowing : : That you have unconditional love : They smile and
>return your smile and you feel butterflies inside : That you have that
>contented feeling with every breath you take : Feel lost when they walk out
>of sight and your heart skips a beat everytime you see them again : Would
>sacrifice almost anything for them : Their touch makes you feel whole :
>Look in their eyes and see something special, that noone else ever has : To
>think of ways to keep them in your life ( geniunly ) so you can feel
>excepted without rascism.
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Thanks to all that wrote back but wild seemed to hit the nail on the head about telling me about "possible" feelings that may have been felt.....TY.... You explained : Sent: 29/11/2002 12:40 PM "I think a lot of addicts are afraid of the very feelings you describe. They
are scarry feelings and I can see where the warmth of heroin could, in a
twisted way, seem to have less strings than a true relationship." I can understand that anyone doesn't want to get hurt by someone they love / trust and using heroin would make it easier to not feel hurt or let people see you as a "weak" person and to "numb feelings". Heroin will be there for you no matter what situation lies ahead... it won't walk out when you need it the most , it won't abuse you or hurt your feelings... I can see where your all coming from BUT...... to me using heroin is falsifying feelings ..( What about the true feelings? They're unfathomable! ).... hiding yourself and not let people see you have problems....If we can't see you have a problem how can anybody help you?...I know some people don't have others to love them back ... there has to be something other than a drug to make you feel good about yourself....So be it if you feel it does you right..... I can see that some people choose to stay on it so they don't get sick or go through the pain of withdrawl or to feel excepted under any situation ~ the list goes on~... maybe opening your heart to someone ( with caution of course ) might start an emotional roller coaster to trust and getting clean and you could have someone to stand by you through thick and thin.... I would certainly help someone in this situation if I was put there.
When I was 4 years old, I was put into a very "SICK" situation. I was not mollested but I would consider it a form of sexual abuse , maybe even being used as a "sexual toy"... I was in the wrong place at the wrong time looking for my brother... My brother saw what happened to me and he never said anything about it to anyone.... I chose to deal with it my way and hopefully in the next few months I am going to visit and face the bloke that did this to me and tell him how I feel.... I am nearly 31 and still live with that situation everyday. Nearly 27 bloody years!!! and it still screws up my life.
We all have problems and I can see that different people use different ways to deal with them but I am choosing to understand why your choice is to use herion...some others use alcohol or another substance, even put themsleves in certain situations to feel better. I don't want to be one of the "NIAVE" ones.....I WILL NOT JUDGE ANY OF YOU AT ALL.... I want to understand and help if you choose to let me. Being here to talk to someone about their addiction, doesn't make me a better person, hopefully it can help them through a hard time. Maybe even leave a possitive impression on their lives. Porridge!
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Hi wild , I will have to make this a brief thread due to a major thunder storm heading my way...... I am not a user of heroin but my b/f was a heroin user .... I am here to understand about the withdrawls and ways to help him and to regain his fitness and stay clean ... so far a few different threads have made a lot of sence.. I was writing another thread the other day but was "cut off" the web.....here it goes
" Thank you for replying once again....... All of this is very confusing for me..... I read in some other threads about people crying and feeling so emotional all the time, during rehab. I have no doubt they were being supressed by the heroin use. I want to know about the emotions that the recovering users feel.... My boyfriend says he feels "raw" emotions.... We will be talking then all of a sudden his eyes will be consumed with tears and cry for no obvious reason. The tears will fall down his face and looks so lost and innocent. The closer we get and the more indepth we talk, some things are explained and others are still past my reach...."
I want to understand why any of you feel this way ( I want to know about details of anyones amotions but not to pry too deeply ).. If I can understand them I am one step ahead from where I was.... I might even have to help another close friend one day...... maybe even one of you... Thank you Porridge! (Sorry for any misunderstanding) |
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