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Hi there, Im a mom of a user,He's 22 Im not sure how much he used or for how long - heres a guess, 2-3 years approx as little as a few a week or as much as 30 a day. He went to jail a year ago, he did a programs & finished. He didnt seem to go through detox hard that I could see.He still has a year and a half left of time. I want to be ready when he gets out to face anything. He has a high IQ . I want to make sure that all the pretty songs I hear are coming true from the heart . I am so afraid that I dont see the big picture yet and have many problems to face when he gets out. He has a 2 yr old son that I take care of 4 days a week.This has been his insperation but will it be his salvation? I am just wondering where to start.... I dont want to do things wrong. Can it all be put in the past and not spoke of? Or should I try to know the extreme of it as we have never talked in detail since he has been in jail . There are some other things I would like to mention but I am looking for a experiance soul that is willing to correspond. Thanks in advance to all that reply |
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Welcome Vickilynn, I must start out by saying, that you have found the right place to get the answers that you will need, as a matter of fact we have a few Wonderful Mothers that are going through or have been through what you are about to expierence, your son is very fortunate to have someone like you to try to understand what is going on with this addiction. He will need alot of support. I myself have given up 22 plus years in prison for this addiction and I do not want to see your son make the same mistakes that I have made. You are going about it the right way by asking questions first before he gets out. We have a very wonderful mother that goes by the name of "Loving Mom" Karen, which we adore and I am certain that she will respond as soon as she reads your post, so Please keep posting and enjoy the ride cause I assure you that it will be very interesting in getting to know US, you will see. with that I'll close and leave with you my Blessings and Prayers. Love, Sporty |
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Vickilynn,
I want to welcome you to our loving dysfunctional family as I have affectionately coined.
First off I assume that your son received some therapy while in this program as it was not just a paper program where you are sent someplace and just go through the motions and they rubber stamp everything.
So was this an intensive drug rehab that he went through while incarcerated and do you know how long this program ran and what is he doing now while finishing up his time. Is he getting the tools needed to continue in his recovery and the skills for future employment.
Before he comes out I would talk to him over a period of time and find out what his goals and plans are for when graduation day arrives and the gate opens up.Do you have legal custody of your grandchild?
I would meet your son as if you just gave birth to him because this is going to be a new start for him and a new life so if you start at the beginning (you can bypass potty training and preschool,lol) (smile,just kidding) and put the past where it belongs,in the past and live for the day and just let him know that your door is always open whenever he wants to talk and leave it as that. Because when he's ready he will approach you if he knows that you are approachable but it has to be in his time and your trust will slowly develop as his actions indicates that he is truly sincere in his recovery. You never said what his doc(drug of choice was) as it is important to know when giving advice as each class of drugs are approached differently when trying to clean up. I'll assume for now it's heroin and you can correct me if I'm wrong or some other type of opiate.
God Bless
Claude
-------Original Message-------
Date: 09/24/04 07:56:52
Subject: NEW MEMBER WITH QUESTIONS
NEW MEMBER WITH QUESTIONS
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| From: Vickilynn_sargent |
Hi there, Im a mom of a user,He's 22 Im not sure how much he used or for how long - heres a guess, 2-3 years approx as little as a few a week or as much as 30 a day. He went to jail a year ago, he did a programs & finished. He didnt seem to go through detox hard that I could see.He still has a year and a half left of time. I want to be ready when he gets out to face anything. He has a high IQ . I want to make sure that all the pretty songs I hear are coming true from the heart . I am so afraid that I dont see the big picture yet and have many problems to face when he gets out. He has a 2 yr old son that I take care of 4 days a week.This has been his insperation but will it be his salvation? I am just wondering where to start.... I dont want to do things wrong. Can it all be put in the past and not spoke of? Or should I try to know the extreme of it as we have never talked in detail since he has been in jail . There are some other things I would like to mention but I am looking for a experiance soul that is willing to correspond. Thanks in advance to all that reply | | View other groups in this category.
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Dear Vickie,
Hi and welcome to H of H. My name is Karen/loving
mom, and I went thru my sons addiction with him not knowing anything about
addiction. It wasn't until after my son overdosed and lost his battle to
the damn drug that i decided I needed to know what was in his heart and in his
soul.
IMO I would try to be as open and honest with your son
when he comes out of jail.
His addiction is a family problem and he is going to need
your support to stay clean.
I wish you the best when he gets home from jail. You
must be a very loving mother
to want to learn as much as possible in order to
help your son,
God Bless you, Love Karen |
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