Heritics of Heroin

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Hey yall, flapj here. Well, been doin' dope at least two to five times a week. Been goin' like this for just about a year maybe a little more. In the beginning it wasn't like it is now, I mean as far as frequency and quantity go. Now our habits are three, meanig that we could handle three bags at once, of course testing half a bag first to determine stength. So in the course of a year our tolerance /has slowly grown from being able to get off on a half bag to needing at least two to get off decently, and three if we want the deep nod. Getting to the point, a person we used as our middle-man to cop for us was more or less cut out of the system we had had for a while because we were introduced to two sources. Great, right! We don't need the mid-man and can go straight to the source. Well the middle man did not take this to well. When ever we got through her we gave her at least on bag, if it was ten or more we'd give here two, same with the methadone pills. She got upset and went to the sources and cried and moaned that she needed our business so she wouldn't miss what we gave her when she scored for us. Anyway, we can ge the H no problem but the 'dones are the man's wifes business and our middle man convinced her not to serve us for the methadone because of lies. The lies were not serious but white lies that made us out to look like we were shutting her out of our lives completely, which is not the case. I just saw her earlier today and got ten 1mg. xanax tablets from her. So we're still pretty cool, but my girl can't stand her. So it's day two of getting off for us, a pretty hard week last week of running,(and the week before too) approximately $160-&170 on dope, $50 on xanax, and $120 on methadone. Fuck that's like $500 the past week and a half, so we decided to put the brakes on for a while, until New Years. We'll still be taking pills and I'll still be toking, but I see the tolerance on the rise and the sickness is getting worse too, so it's high time to lay off the diesel. Right now I'm on 20mg. methadone, 3mg. klonopin, and 1.5mg. xanax. My mate cooked up a wonderful spare rib dinner with steamed asparagus and garlic bread. It ws goo to come home to my mate and just chill professing my luck to have her love me and conversely re-proclaim my friendship and love for her. What a wonderful way to wrap up a miserable rainy day. Yeah, back to the story. The last few weeks have been fraught with miscommunication, manipulation, and a person going behind our backs telling our new connects wife not to serve us for the methadone pills. Then three days ago I learn the "biscuits", 40mg. methadone, double scored cost $25 pciece, meanwhile middle man is charging me thirty two and last week I got Four, gave her a half, and lent her twenty four dollars on top all that. Needless to say I was not pleased at how much she was gettin' over on me, and I thought I was treating her well obeying the "Heads etiquette", as it were when going through someone else when you've no connect of your own; y'know kick some down for them after they make the score. So that's been my doping experience for the last couple weeks. Shit last weekend I got six bags and twelve xanax... 4:30 am. My mate wakes me from my sprawled position on the floor and says "get in the bed honey pot", you gotta go to work in morning. Christ, I love that residual load the morning and in the day after a previous evening of indulgence. So yeah, me and the mte are gonna put the brakes on the heavy powder for a while. I got some bread coming in tommorrow or the next day and i'm gonna get some more methadone pills. I'm sure as all the users and ex-users know that right after you get off the methadone to get off the dope and you finnally ween yourself of incrementally with the methadone. It seems a few days to a week after the temptations to go cop are very strong. We're gonna try and be strong this time. Thanks for readimg my story of where Im at. Lately, I don't start any threads, which hopefully will change in the not too distant future. I'm signing out, take care and I will try too, much love to all the Heretics/psychonauts. Later on, flapjack --- Legalize It All! Education, treatment/rehabilitation,

Good for you and your mate...much Love and Luck to both of you....

My God, ever since my fits I've been having killer cravings. You know how when you quit smoking, and a sexy smoker walks past and all you want to do is lick thier tonsils? All I wanna do is snort it sip it smoke it shoot it smell it taste it. SIGH. Being good is so depressing!

I hope you and Lee figure out what to do before you both end up in the poor house, lol.

It sounds like the two of you have done alot of talking about it and trying to make changes.

I wish you all the luck in the world with this endeavor.

Man, Flap that middle man stuff stinks. I did that for some time, and the general rule is a bag. Even if ya got a bundle the middle man got one.

Absolutely I know where you are coming from. I had a chick cop for me for quite some time, and then I kicked. Well, you would have thought the atomic bomb blew up. She seriousy COUNTED on that bag. So said her boyfriend. Now I KNOW as this chick was a lifer, and every vein was sclerosed except in her neck that she had to be doing way more than that ONE bag.

Turned out later after I needed her again she started giving me beat bags. Had her own stamper, and saved bags, and who knows what the heck she put in there. We were junkies, but there's that unwritten rule ya don't go giving somebody a beat bag or TEN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Interesting is she kept her connections tip top secret. Hey, ya gotta do what ya gotta do, right? So she would never dare even let me see who they were, but when my girlfriend started having to use her she handed over the phone number pronto.

We still can't figure that one out. About a week later she OD'd this middle man/lady, and we wondered aloud is she knew subconciously it was going to happen thus handing over the number.

Hope it works out for you guys. Honestly, and this is in no way to offend you I am thrilled I ain't gotta worry about that anymore. It's another reason being clean is such a great thing. Again, you guys know what you are doing so I can't judge ya. Hecka I would not anyway, but I just wanted to add that for myself to keep it green as they say.

Postive vibes sent to you both.

Hey Gettinthere, flapj here. You know what? We had asked several times throughout the course of the past year for our 'middleman' to introduce us to a connect and she would say OK, but it never seemed to happen, we even offered to pay her one hundred dollars and she still wouldn't give up the names and numbers; and after we get the connects after all they already new who we were because I guess she told them about how she's helping her new friends out and they(the connects we got) told us that that is the way they knew about us; and they also said wtach out because the monkey on her back is a king-kong monkey. But she's never done us wrong. And I know she middles for a lot of people, at least five or six, if not more so our little bag or two a week she didn't need that desperately, but she's on a low fixed income and I guess that's how she maintains her habit. And I wouldn't have cut her off totally, I woulda popped over once in a while and shared a little what i got, but it didn't happen that way. Oh well. So We're gonna lay off the diesel and I'm just gonna go back to bein' a pill& weed head for a while, xanax, soma, valium, herb, the occasional beer. It's late, I'm bidding you all a restful sleep and sweet dreams, later on, with love, flapjack

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