Im going a bit crazy right now and have to keep busy couse im going to lose my mind. John and i have been fighting for a few weeks ,since his alcholic brother has been staying with us from Quebec. He got an apt but not till Dec 1,when hes bringing his girl and her 4 yr old. Hes a totally sellfish idiot,i went upstairs at 3am last week he was smoking crack with a hooker naked on my couch!!!!!I freaked made er leave and him get couch cleaned. When he called and asked John if he could stay here well he got a place john told him then that he was back in the program not drinking. His brother is drinking if hes not working,ive never seen someone drink beer like him.Anyways of course hes had beer here everyday and john cant just watch him drink. Its not the booze thats his problem(WELL IT IS IN A WAY) after 1 drink John wants coke,and then he goes on 3 day binge...BUT for a year now John has known that this weekend was my nieces bat mitzvah,were jewish,and  its a really big deal,we had relatives and friends come from all over the world,Chile, Toronto,New york,etc...Fri night there was diner for out of town guests and relatives at the tennis club (thats where i got married)then sat morn we go to synogogue and Mikaela,my niece does her thing lunch after. Then Sat night they had a party for all her friends and everyone else. There was 200 people at least,it was at a place called the terminal city club downtown vancouver. A very swanky private club,I dont think Johns ever been to a party like this. I mean black tie event ,it was beautiful,a bit overboard for a kid id say mind you it was way bigger than our wedding,but anyways this is what happened. Oh sorry one more thing,my family does SO,so much for John!!!!!!!From lending him money to signing loans,my brothers a lawyer done favors for him,it goes on and on,they treat him like there own,love him too.But to him haVING TO GO TO 3 EVENTS FOR THIS WAS LIKE WE WERE PUNISHING HIM. But all week he said he knew it was this weekend and he was looking forward to it and wouldnt fuck me over in any way. Oh my mom bought him a Hugo boss suit as his xmas present so he could wear it here. Plus 2 shirts,tie,shoes and different pants.Friday night was fine we went to the diner started drinking there. Back home Pat his brother was here and he started drinking more with him and called for drugs.I was doing them too but at 2am i said please get no more u promised u will get up tomorrow and go.We had to be at synogogue between 10-1030. He got more promised he would get up and not be mad at me for waking him .At 730 he went to sleep,i cried myself to sleep knowing what i was in store for.. I guess the alarm went off and he didnt wake me so my mom called at 10 so i woke him said hurry he was pissed off he had to go,but reluctantly got dressed and in the car.His brother had gone to work at 630 that morning already. We got in the car and he says "so whats happening here today,is it necessary for me to go to 3 things?" I was really upset said ya this was her actual batmitzvah part,and i said stop taking it out on mwe because your hungover tired. He told me im just a fucking bitch smacked me in the side of the head(im dressed up too,tired and trying to put on happy  face.I start yelling at him couldnt believe he hit me,he went in a store got smokes came back out said he wasnt coming to this part!!!!!I was lived!!!Yelling at him in the safeway parking lot,I opened the window said if he didnt come we were done,i threw his work stuff that was in back of car out the window and i guess he called a cab.He had no keys,his brother had them at work so i guess he went to get him.My family was so unimpressed but didnt say much i think they thought he just wouldnt get up..I got home at 130 and thought hed be asleep and that hed still go at night. But no he knew he was in shit and went to cheap hotel with his brother and started partying again. I went to the party,was so embarrased,and upset. I got home at midnight still no one. At 5am he called asked if he could come home i freaked out on him said u think its all ok now.So thats the last i talked to him.He snuck in this morning to get work boots i know because i put sonthing in front of the door and it was moved. So now i no that hes almost done work and will be showing up very soon....Ive had enough,im telling him to leave...Sorry i rambled all this but im trying to not go crazy waiting......He makes it seem like im wrong,turns everything around to be my fault.

What do i do,i hate him,for doing this,again?   samra