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♥Funnies�?/A> : Something to offend everyone
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Reply
 Message 1 of 3 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname†¤VøøÐøø¤�?/nobr>  (Original Message)Sent: 6/21/2005 4:58 AM
SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE
PART I
 
  
What is a Yankee?
  The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
 
     What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
   The position of the dirt bag.
 
  Why is divorce so expensive?  
   Because it's worth it.
  
   What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
   Doughnuts.
 
 Why is air a lot like sex?
   Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.


First  Previous  2-3 of 3  Next  Last 
Reply
 Message 2 of 3 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname†¤VøøÐøø¤�?/nobr>Sent: 6/21/2005 4:59 AM
SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE PART II (JUST WARMING UP!)
 
   What do you call a smart blonde?
  A golden retriever
 
   What do attorneys use for birth control?
  Their personalities.
 
   What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
   45 lbs.
 
   What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
   45 minutes.
 
  What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
  Through his chest with a sharp knife.
 
  Why do men want to marry virgins?
  They can't stand criticism.
 
   Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive,caring,and  
   good-looking?  
   Because those men already have boyfriends.
 
   What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?  
   After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
 
  What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
   The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
   driving.
 
   Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
   Because they have cotton balls.
 
   What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
  A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
 
   What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
   "Are you sure it's mine?"
 
  Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
   Mace will do that to you.
 
   Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
   Everyone has the same DNA.
 
   Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
   Breasts don't have eyes.
 
  
 
   Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on  
 Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?  
   Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Reply
 Message 3 of 3 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname†¤VøøÐøø¤�?/nobr>Sent: 6/21/2005 4:59 AM
SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE, PART III
   Where does an Irish family go on vacation?  
  A different bar.
 
 
   What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at  
   half-mast?  
   They're hiring.
 
   What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?  
   A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage  
   along with... "a recipe".
  
   How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?  
  Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
 
   What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern  
  fairytale?  
  A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."