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Hi countrydiva71,
I want to welcome you to our group. My name is Tami and I am an assistant here. I don't have RSD my husband does. We have gone through some emotions through all of this and still do after about 2 yrs of this RSD hell. We almost split after the first year because we were both in our own worlds with our own pain and suffering. We grew distant and that made it worse. We realized at that point that we had to change the way we were dealing with it all. Instead of dealing with things in our own separate ways and alone, we had to start communicating what each other needed to help get through the rough days. We had to find a way to lean on each other and deal together instead of keeping all the pain to ourselves. I know this sounds silly but share your pain and be honest. Allow your spouse to do the same. Talk about all the fears and how life has changed and educate yourselves on what this beast really is and how it affects everyone in the family. Don't pretend all the time that things are ok when they are not. They need to understand your limitations and when your are having a bad day because of pain they need to know that too. Otherwise they will feel like you are havening a bad day and unhappy because of them and you will all grow further apart. This is a life crippling dystrophy and your family is what will get you through it all. It is no different however than being in a horrible accident that takes your legs or arms and leaves you learning how to live life again. Families don't leave because you have a disability, they leave because they don't know how to cope with what is going on and are being pushed away. There is a lot of info on the internet that can help and you and your spouse should venture together to find answers to both of your questions that are causing fear. Pull together as a team not pull apart. Please invite your family to join here as well. It will help lead them to understanding and support too. We all need support. If things are getting too hard between you two then consider going to a pain counselor to help both of you cope and possible some anti depressants. I had to get on them myself because it became overwhelming for me to deal with and it has helped. My husband isn't on them but he should be because he gets so depressed. RSD will do that to you too. Don't be affraid to ask for help anywhere you can. I am adding more links about RSD to our RSD News board but there are some good ones there already for you to check out. Go to the menu on the left of this board and click on the RSD News link and then click on the RSD Related Links that is below that one. I hope all this helps.
I am glad you posted today.
Tami62
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