Thanks for your response Frank!
My name is Shawn and i live in denver colorado. i will try to remember that i'm not alone in this but after a year of living alone and doing this there are times when..... i read some of the postings and i don't know how anyone can possibly do this for as long as some of your bloggers, i admire and envy them and yourself. i really don't think that i can live like this for 9 years but i'll take your advice and seek out a group. I am having a hard time recognizing the fact that i am going to have to do this for the rest of my life. i'm currently being sent to a new specialist, a vascular doctor so once again i am hoping and praying that he has "the cure".
anyway, thank you again for your words.
Shawn