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Hey Meri.....Thanks for your answer. I appreciate your thoughtfulness, because you thought through all of the solutions I struggled to come up with over the years (and it took me far longer.) But it seems that I'm in a catch-22.
I am tenured and therefore cannot be fired easily. However, I can be messed with, and that is going on in a major way. How? My students don't get the placements they need. Mysteriously, they don't get paid for the month through some error in paperwork that no one can find; it takes weeks for the university to correct itself and pay them. My students are not selected for awards, even though they are highly accomplished. It's upsetting to watch.
In my evaluation, my work is nationally recognized and therefore difficult to completely ignore. However, I am told by our Chairman that I am clearly on a decline (the written evaluation is at least acceptable this year). He appoints other people of much less junior status to head my area, people I have even supervised earlier in my career. He threatens to take lab space away that is critical to my research operation, telling me that I'm not using it enough, even when it is clear that we are fully utilizing it. He accuses me of lying to him, telling him we have fewer employees on my projects than we do. I have to go pull the employment records to prove that I do employ these people. When our lab is vandalized, he claims there is no money to fix it, although other professors can get repairs paid for by insurance.
When it comes to functioning in the department, I am treated like I am invisible, so that tasks that are in my specialty area that I could easily complete are not assigned to me. These tasks often carry extra pay with them that I cannot earn. I am never nominated for any positions of responsibility, even when it is something I could do with my verbal skills.
One colleague apparently heard I was "on drugs" and accused me to my face at work of being an addict. Although my doctor provided a statement that I was taking medically necessary rx's at appropriate amounts with no indication of addiction or abuse, my supervisor declined to address the claims of my colleagues. The rumors made all the rounds. It was extremely painful.
The result of this process is that I walk into a hostile environment every day, hoping to just get along and do my work, but all day there are explosions-- and I have to drop what I'm doing and provide evidence that I'm not an addict, or that I actually did publish several manuscripts, or that some number of people do work for me. It makes it extremely difficult to get real work done.
I asked for a voice activated system and used one for a while, but with about 75% accuracy, I spent so much time fixing the 1/4 words that were errors that it became senseless. I asked for a secretary, with the support of my doctor, but the university refused to hire one or to allow me to use any of the existing secretaries in the university, even part-time.
I have graduate assistants-- but these students are supposed to do professional work during their jobs-- not help me. I would get complaints to the head of our department if I changed what they do. In addition, about half of my work consists of things they can't see-- grades on their friends and evaluations on other students. Privacy laws prevent one student from seeing another student's materials.
ARGH. There is a disability resource center. However, the university's EEOC officer specifically told me not to contact them. Instead, I made the request for administrative assistance through his office. He has completely turned it down, and it has been through all levels of appeals.
Money for a secretary would have to be approved from someone. In denying my request, I have no funds to hire someone from.
I have explored the university to see if there are any other people with disabilities, without success. They must be here; my bet is that they have had the same experiences as me.
I hate to "yes, but"--- yet this is the situation right now. I'm getting so exhausted trying to keep up with the normal demands of this job, that I'm completely demoralized. I do good work, but the work is all within the expectations of the job. It's just taking longer.
Does this help clarify things? I've even hired an attorney to help resolve things with the university. He could not do it. My alternative would be EEOC-- unlikely to improve the work atmosphere.
I will have to change cities if I change jobs, because of my specialized area, and I can't do that for another year or two at the earliest. Finding one less stressful would be ideal; but I feel stuck and scared.
So that's a bit more info on what I've tried so far. Can you help me think of anything else? I am so grateful for any info, including other people's experiences...
Blessings,
Annie
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