Life Explained

On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go
to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the
sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will
give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live
for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the
other forty." And God agreed.

On the second day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day
by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or
walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years
and I'll give you back the other ten." So God agreed.

On the third day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain
people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a
twenty-year life span."

The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years?
I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll
do too, okay?" And God agreed again.

On the forth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play,
have sex, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I'll give you
twenty years."

Man said, "What? Only twenty years! No way, man. Tell you what,
I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back, and the
ten the dog gave back and the ten the monkey gave back, that
makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You've got a deal."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, have
sex, enjoy, and do nothing; for the next forty years we slave
in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we
do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and for the
last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained.