Your Duck Is Dead
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid
her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to
the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly
and said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The
distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. The duck is
dead," replied the vet. "How can you be so sure", she protested. "I mean
you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a
coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the
room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever.
As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind
legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck
from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook
his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the
room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the
table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat
sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out
of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is
most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." The vet turned to his
computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed
to the woman.
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried,
"$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the
bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's
now $150.