The more elaborate your ceremony, the more things there are to go wrong, and naturally, the more worry you are going to have. There are two options you have at this point: you can elope and get rid of all the beautiful ceremony plans, or you can use a few simple methods to get rid of the stress so you can enjoy your special moment. To that end, here are five things you can do that will melt away your worst worries and help you relax. Try one of them or try them all. They are all easy, inexpensive and effective ways to take care of stress.

1. Plan to Succeed

In the manufacturing world, there is a plan for every contingency, called an OCAP (Out of Control Action Plan). Having your own version of the OCAP can help ease the tension of worrying about the “what ifs�? For instance, you and your soon-to-be-spouse can practice your first dance so you have it down cold by the time the ceremony comes around. Like the book says, “don’t sweat the small stuff, and it’s all small stuff.�?People are watching you get married, not judging your taste in flowers, after all.

2. You’ve Got a Friend

Don’t forget your support network when you start feeling stressed out. Your soon-to-be-spouse, future in-laws, parents, and friends can all help you by taking some of the load off your mind. If you need a favor from someone, don’t hesitate to ask. Most people are thrilled to be asked to help plan an event like a wedding. It makes them feel like you value their opinion, and they would be more than happy to help.

3. Don’t Be So Negative

You know the type: whatever you say, they have experience with that and it was bad. From their bunion surgery to their last birthday surprise party, these people are always talking about how everything went wrong. When you’re worrying about making your ceremony perfect, the last thing you need is a negative person constantly putting ideas in your head of all the bad things that might, possibly, perhaps happen. Surround yourself with those people who help you feel comfortable, and limit time with naysayers �?at least until after the ceremony.

4. Try a Little Tenderness

It can be easy to forget that the marriage ceremony is intended to celebrate the joining to two people who are in love. With rising tension can come doubts as to whether the whole thing is a good idea. When you start to feel like that, try adding a little romance to your life. Take your future spouse out for a romantic dinner or a picnic. Be alone with them and give yourself a chance to remember why you are getting married to this person in the first place. He or she is your biggest ally in the world, so take advantage of that support.

5. Getting Your Reality Check

What if you aren’t sure if the jitters are about the ceremony or about the marriage itself? In times of stress, things can get jumbled in your mind. If you are wondering about the entire idea of being married, it’s time for a reality check. Calmly think about your feelings and what is causing them. Is it nervousness about making the ceremony come off just right, or are you sensing something different? If your future spouse has changed their behavior significantly, get together and talk to them. You could find out that they are just as nervous about the public spectacle of a big wedding as you are. This is the person you are planning to spend the rest of your life with, after all. If you have chosen wisely, you will be able to talk to him or her about anything. After you have that conversation, you can relax, enjoy the ceremony, and get on to the important business of the rest of your life with this wonderful person who is sharing it with you.

Chris Simeral is the creator of The Ultimate Wedding Vow Toolkit, the wedding-coordinator-approved home-study course for couples personalizing or renewing their wedding vows. Sign up for the free wedding vow mini-course at <ATARGET="_NEW" href="http://www.weddingvowtoolkit.com/">http://www.weddingvowtoolkit.com.

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