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| | | From: Grace* (Original Message) | Sent: 2/11/2009 2:44 PM |
And per someone's wise advice, I'm going to take a vacation from groups. So I won't be posting much. I've deleted the MSN Live group.... we don't need it. The Multiply and Groupbox groups will stay... and if any of you want to post there, you are all welcome to. If you are not able to post at one or both of those two places, and if you are have trouble using the features, or are unhappy with either of them....I have nothing else to offer you at this time. And everyplace else is even more complicated and difficult to use and manage ....for someone like me who does not know HTML. I'm truly sorry I'm not more able. I'm dealing with 2 "ill" women at work... and am feeling pretty overwhelmed right now in my life... and feeling pretty worthless. It is Valentines Day this weekend.... and so that hurts also... being alone. I've been crying for almost 3 years now, hurting over one thing or another, about him and the marriage..never able to get a break and have something good last for a while. Feeling like life is never going to get any better than it is right now, and that I have to accept that for me. So.... I'm going to take that vacation... and leave you ladies to it for a while. I'll check for notices of the migration to the Aimoo place, and let you know if it went through.... the MSN deadline is starting to get to me as well. Things started piling up big time at work... at the most worst time in my life. Just a lot going on.... and I need to get my self there in 25 minutes. I'm sorry for all of this.... just too much going on at one time, and it's starting to get to me...  (I saved your messages Jeni... thank you.) |
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| grace, we probably know you better then anyone, and you the group, helped me over many a depression, so come in the group when you want to sound off, that helps more then any thing, in the meantime. in your spare time now, go to the beach, walk like you used to,talk to strangers, children you pass, be sure to smile at them, indulge ia a drink of your choice, munch a hotdog walking along the beach, smile and say hello to the man fishing off the pier, in other words, walk away from the house. leave inside all your woes, go look at all god has created just for you, we will hang on to the groups the best we can, go take that vacation away from the all the computer worries, we are here if you need us. jeni |
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Hello Grace, sorry to hear you are sliding into depression. So glad i dont have that. Forget the past, try to do things you like. I know, that is not always possible. We all had bad times in our lifes, but we make it in the end. I agree with Jeni. Take your vacation from groups. You can always find us, you have our e-mails. We wont forget you. I feel like that sometimes, those many different groups get to me, i just want to quit, but i dont, i just struggle a little while longer i tell myself. Wishing you the best. Sylvia |
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| | | From: Grace* | Sent: 2/12/2009 4:41 AM |
 .. thank you for the good advice. I'm so tired of crying... that seems to be all I do for the last few weeks. And the negative self-talk keeps gaining control lately... I just feel so very tired... of trying...of struggling.... I'm just plain tired.... I'll keep fighting... with your prayers. Hugs, Grace |
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Dont give up grace. You are so good in setting up groups. I also want to give up, but dont. Hope you have the strengh to come out ok. Sylvia |
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Hi Grace, Girlfriend, from one that knows, let me give you just a small piece of advise as I have been down that road several times. Once, years ago had to have professional help and this is what I learned. You have to know and voice what is really bothering you and take charge of it...and don't worry about what anyone else might think. If you feel like telling someone off, do it, if you need to cry, do it.........Do what every makes you feel better. The main thing is to realize what is really bothering you and have someone that you really trust and feel that you can talk to about it. And remember this above anything else..... If God brings you to it, God will get you through it! .........Love you girlfriend and we will all be around, please take care. Pat |
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| | | From: Grace* | Sent: 2/15/2009 4:57 AM |
Thank you Pat..... I so appreciate your wonderful advice. It happens that what you say I should do has actually been 'the' one most difficult thing for me to do all my life.  And, it's taken the 2 years I've been apart from my husband for me to just BEGIN to hear my own self... separate from other peoples voices in my head... especially his....limiting, restricting, controlling, criticising..... etc. This all started to go downhill at Christmas... and then by February... which is the anniversary of the last time he screwed with my head.... the memories just got to me. Working the long hours at work didn't help.... But... that is over....!.... and this coming week I am actually going to be off 3 days!... part of the 'take care of myself' advice from Jeni. I had to work enough to pay my rent first.... and now I can redo my schedule. I also took another walk at the park this morning... and that is where I had a new "self talk"... and decided to "take action" in my own behalf. So, I'm off Sunday, Monday and Friday!  I am so looking forward to being off for 2 days in a row!  Thank you again for your help. I have felt the 'hug' of everyones prayers... and I say again, I really did need it. They are working. I should have said something sooner.... I suspected I was slipping for a while, but kept hoping it would pass. And instead it just kept getting worse the closer it got to Valentines Day...plus the Full Moon last week. Boy...everything was conspiring against me. Health Care change #1... I will not work over 48 hours in one week. And I told my boss today, I can work 6 days a week if it's necessary.. BUT... a few of those days will have to for me to NOT come to work until 3 pm..... that way I will be able to still pretty much feel like I have the "day" off... and do things FOR myself at home that I need to do. You all are the only people I have that I can be myself with, and be open and honest about what I'm feeling and why... about anything. That's why you all get to hear me unload....lol.. Thanks again Jeni for reminding me to take my walks in the park! It's working!  Thank you Sylvia for your wonderful encouragement .... together you and I both will not quit on ourselves, about anything. Thank you for helping to pull me back out of my hole! Hugs to all.... from a happier Grace... who is going to drink some wine now and sleep like a baby. Told my son he is driving himself to work in the morning. .. |
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 Good for you, Gracie! Glad to hear that you are in better spirits this morning. You hang in there girl and remember to always put yourself first and do what is good for you! I was the same way for many years, always trying to please someone else and keep things on an even keel but that did nothing but make me miserable and unhappy. I had a good husband in many ways, he did not mistreat me or the boys but everything had to be done his way, where we went, how long we stayed, what we bought and on and on. Then I had a very dominating mother that wanted to come first in my life and I thought I had to keep her happy also......and that was not easy. What a mess I was for many years......After my breakdown I begin to realize that I had to put my feelings on the table in plain sight for everyone and not let anyone knock them off.....Things then begin to change and I begin to feel like I mattered. And also took the opportunity to tell them how I felt.......and trust me, it sure felt good! I still tend to have some depression from time to time but at least now I know what to do when I feel it coming.....get busy doing something and remember that I am important and so are my feelings......So, hang tough girl and know that we are with you and care very much about you............hugs, Pat |
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Wonderful girls, so everything is going uphill from now on. Right. I was always too gullible,. now i learned to say no to somethings. If i dont feel like doing it, i dont. And i tell them too. Dont happen often, i am always trying to help, but there is always a limit to it. In another way, we are always glad to help someone. Ok, i will go to antother thread now. Have a great day. I mean it. Sylvia |
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| | | From: junebug | Sent: 2/18/2009 1:31 AM |
You are my guiding star Grace. Please email me and send me an email addy I can reach you at. Jeni and the rest, do the same. I wwant to stay cose. We will be a gorup again I am confident. [email protected]. that is June, me! Please contact me there so I can email each of you . The new group format is over whelming Grace, I feel your pain GF. I love you all....this cant be the end of the road...xoTY TY TYTYT YTYTYYTYOOOOOOO! |
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| | | From: Grace* | Sent: 2/18/2009 5:19 AM |
Thank you Jeni....!... that was awesome.. and so true. I needed to see that. Amazingly.... I was going through some e-mails a few days ago... and someone had sent me the same thing. God wanted to make sure I saw it! Hi June... I got your address written down. |
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