RAGE #122
Singles/No Special
Cross vs. Jacob Mitchell w/ Loren Gabriel

So we're back ringside, and after a pretty controversial ending to the match, let's hope that all goes well with this match. "The End Of Heartache" by Killswitch Engage rips up the speakers as the fans immediately start to boo The Prodigal Son even before he shows his face. Soon after a video package of Mitchell rolls on the jumbotron. The lights turn to a maroon and golden color, and FSU starts to write out a lawsuit. Mitchell parts the curtains, and walks out to a crowd full of boos. He throws his arms up in a crucifix-like manner, not like Orton, because Orton is Canadian, and Mitchell doesn't like Canadians. Loren Gabriel pops his head out from behind the curtains, and follows Jacob down the ramp, and into the ring. He does his whole in-ring taunting as Binkle announces him.

Binkle: "The Following bout is a singles match. Introducing first from Honolulu, Hawaii. Weighing in at two-hundred and sixty five pounds. HE IS... THE PRODIGAL SON... JACOB MITCHELL!"

BOO! That's what the fans say! But they don't boo anymore as...

"Due to the graphic nature of this program... listener discretion... is advised"

Everyone freaks out as "Edgecrusher" by Fear Factory tears up the speakers. Soon after Cross appears on the stage with the lovely Lola Star at his arm. The men whistle, and the womenz just get jealous. Cross walks down the ramp, and high fives a couple of fans. Soon enough he gets into the ring, and looks at his buddy Jacob Mitchell.

Binkle: "And his opponent... from San Antonio, Texas (cheep pop). Weighing in at three-hundred and fifteen pounds... THE W2K FTW CHAMPION... CROSS!"

Speaking of the REAL W2K championship, Cross holds up the strap, and gets a pop from that. He gives the title to Lola, and most of the men pop boners. The rest are gay for Johnny Legend's hair, so their time already came up. The ref rings the bell, and the match gets underway. The two friends circle each other for a bit until the lock up. The two are pretty equal before Cross remembers he's like eight foot tall, and starts to use his height to his advantage. He backs Mitchell into the ropes, then irish whips him into the adjacent ropes. Jake rebounds back, and hits Cross with a shoulder block that actually effects him. Cross looks surprised, but remembers that it's Jake he's facing. Jake starts firing off jabs and hooks at Cross who starts to fire back at him.

Kewl: "Whoa, these two are really going at it here!"

Trunks: "Joey, you just keep opening yourself up for a momma diss. You'll never learn."

Jake somehow gets the advantage, and sends Cross into the ropes. But when Cross comes back, he lays Jake out with a HUGE clothesline. Jake hits the mat pretty hard, but regathers quickly, and is back in Cross' face. The two start throwing the punches again, and this time Cross gets the leverage with a mean right haymaker. Cross then snaps his knee into Jake's gut, and lifts him up onto his shoulders. Cross looks like he's going to take him, and throw him out of the... universe. But before he could do anything, Jake slips off his shoulders, and hits a nice neckbreaker. Loren is outside of the ring clapping with that reversal, while Lola looks displeased. Most of the men in the ring get pissed that Lola isn't looking AS provactive as she usually is, and start booing.

Kewl: "It's a good thing that Jacob Mitchell isn't easily distracted by Miss Lola Star, because half of the men inside this ring are."

Trunks: "Hmm... wha? I was too busy oogling."

Jake starts laying in the boots to Cross' chest until Cross catches his boot, and starts to stand up while holding Jake's foot. Jake looks like he's in a perdictament as Cross lifts him into the air with one hand, and spikes him down quickly. The rafters rattle after that one, and the fans are loving it, probably because Lola starts clapping. Cross looks like he's about to go for a pin, but knows Jake way better than that. Instead Cross locks in a quick armbar that has Jacob in a good deal of pain. What makes it worse is the ref bothering Jake with all these questions like, 'YOU GONNA TAP, JAKE?', 'WHY DON'T YOU GIVE SO I CAN GO HOME, AND FEED MY WIFE CAT FOOD?', 'IS THERE SOMETHING IN MY TEETH THAT'S MAKING YOUR GRIMACE LIKE THAT?'. But Jake is strong like the ox, and is able to roll out of the armbar into a quick schoolboy pin!

One...

Two...

Thr-kickout!

Kewl: "Jake almost had the match won right there, but Cross is able to kick out. Good mat technique though."

Kenni: "Your damn right good technique, he's the best around!"

Jake stands up off of Cross who also stands up. The two seem more winded now, but lock up again. This time Jacob pushes Cross into the turnbuckle, and starts laying in rights and lefts into the big man's torso. Cross, however, blocks one vital shot, and nails Jake right on the nose with a counterpunch. Jake stumbles back, and suddenly Cross charges out of the corner and NAILS Jacob with a wicked running big boot. Jake crumbles to the mat as Cross pauses for a moment to collect his breath. The fans are loving it so far, and start cheering Cross on.

Kewl: "These fans are really behind Cross!"

Kenni: "Kinda like how I was behind your mom last night."

Kewl: "Oh come on! Was that even neccessary?"

Kenni: "Yes, you're like a bleeding child in shark water, and I'm Jaws."

Cross, after taking a breather walks back over to Jake, and lifts him up to his feet. Jake seems woozy, but don't count him out yet. Cross hits him a couple times with some good elbow shots, and then looks like he's going to hit the Zig-zag, but right as he goes to do it, Jake reverses the momentum into an Icon Driver!

Kenni: "YES! THE ICON DRIVER! IT'S OVER NOW, JOEY!"

Kewl: "NOO!"

Jake makes the cover, and the ref counts like he has anything better to do.

One...

Two..

Thre--KICKOUT!

Cross barely gets his shoulder up, but does probably by instinct. Jake looks over at the ref, and simply can't believe it! He slowly gets to his feet, and starts waving Cross to get up. Cross eventually does, and Jake goes in for the kill. He dives out, looking to hit the Prodigal Drop, but Cross steps out of the way! Jake is still on his feet though, and turns around right into... AN EQUALIZER BY CROSS! The crowd erupts as Cross goes for the cover.

One!

Kewl: "CROSS MAY GET THE WIN!"

Two!

Kenni: "GET YOUR ARM UP MITCHELL!"

Thre--KICKOUT!

Mitchell's arms shoots up in the air, and the fans can't believe it! They start booing and what not, as Cross slams his fist on the mat, and probably causes a 8.2 earthquake on the Richter scale. Cross gets up, and lifts Jake up with him. He sends Jake into the corner, runs at him full speed, jumps into the air hoping to hit a Stoner Splash, AAANNND... JAKE MOVES OUT OF THE WAY LAST SECOND! Cross hits his chest hard on the turnbuckle, and stumbles back... RIGHT INTO THE PRODIGAL DROP! BUT WAIT... CROSS REVERSES IT, AND PUSHES HIM OFF!

Kewl: "!!!"

Kenni: "WHAT!?"

Suddenly we see Loren jump up on the apron, and smash his suitcase onto Cross' back. The ref obviously sees this, and tells the timekeeper to ring the bell. Does the timekeepr even keep the time, or is he just there to look goofy with that little hammer? Cross looks back at Loren.

Cross: "You done fucked up, boy!"

Suddenly Scott Blaze comes out of frickin' no where, and slides into the ring while Cross exits it. Blaze hits the unexpected Jake in the face with a mean right hook, and sets him up for the Dynamic Driver. Loren quickly gets into the ring as he sees this, and goes to hit Blaze with the suitcase, but Blaze kicks him. Whilst he does this he drops Jake, who rolls out of the ring. Blaze sees this, and waits until Jake's noticing. Then he picks up Loren, and hits the Dynamic Driver while Jake watches from the outside. Sending a painful message, probably to Loren's massage therapist.

Kewl: "The Dyanmic Driver on Loren! I bet that boils Jake's blood!"

Kenni: "What crack are you smoking?"