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The Squid and the Whale I just watched the most engaging, disturbing, intriguiging, thought-provoking film. It's an indie flick called The Squid and the Whale...about a family that is right screwed up. The film unashamedly, with no fear, unfolds the story of a family about to implode...the competition amongst people with similar careers, misunderstandings that fester, betrayals, illusions...and it forces us, as viewers, to engage this family's struggles. I think one would be hard pressed not to identify with some aspect of this film, and therein lies the rub. The points of identification chafe. Hurt. Are too close for comfort. Force one to engage questions that surface... If you're into thinking, into films that are rather than films that shoot something (repeatedly), then I recommend it. But be prepared to arrive at your own conclusions, for the writers refuse to wrap this one up and put a lovely bow on the top. But then again, that's only appropriate. Jenskill and Jenbert |
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Death Sentence Okay, I know what you’re thing; another “Death Wish�?only without Paul Kersey (Charles Bronson). I’ll give you that one because of this; they were both novels written by Brian Garfield. Garfield, though, hated the four sequels of “Death Wish�?because they didn’t keep with his original character and none of the sequels were influenced by the series he wrote; hence, his direct sequel, “Death Sentence�? “Death Sentence�?starts out with Nick Hume, (Kevin Bacon), as an easy-going executive and a good family man with a wife, Helen, (Kelly Preston), and two sons; Brendan, (a promising high school hockey player with dreams of going pro), and Lucas, who feels he is always second to his older brother.
The movie takes place in Columbia, South Carolina where Nick and his family live in the suburbs and much of his business is downtown in the “inner-city�?
Life is good for the Hume family, until one night on the way home from one of Brendan’s games, (which was played downtown), Nick and Brendan had to stop for gas at an inner-city convenience store and Brendan was murdered by Joe Darley as part of a gang initiation set up to look like a robbery gone bad.
Later, Nick discovers, form the prosecutors, that Joe will probably only get 3 to 5 years in a deal; the prosecutor and Detective Wallis explain to Nick that if it goes to trial the defense would pull out the stops and make Nick look like a fool and that the poor inner-city child was the victim, so their best bet was to make a deal. Well, that is not good enough for Nick and, later in the court room; he shocks the prosecutor by telling the judge, “I’m not sure�?
Now, if you don’t like violence; stay home. Remember, this is a movie about revenge; a vigilante. So, from this point on, the movie gets violent. Yes, there is a story to this film and you just might miss it because of the violent action that takes place; so pay attention.
Here is where Kevin Bacon is a little more adept than Charles Bronson at portraying a character that is bent on vengeance but, at the same time, vulnerable. When Nick Hume finally decides to “balance the equation�?you can see the layers of emotion in his face; from anger to fear to “is-what-I’m-doing-wrong�?nbsp; is expressed in Bacon’s eyes and in his manner through-out the movie. He doesn’t need words to express this, especially when he is talking to his younger son, Lucas, at the hospital and he switches from stricken father to vigilante.
Okay, I’m getting ahead of myself here, sorry about that.
When Nick gets home from the day in court he explains to his wife and son that Joe walked; but leaves out why. Then he says he has to go back to the office. When Nick stalks Joe and takes him out it is a clumsy fight that Nick finally wins by accident; then again, think about it, people you and me and Nick are not accustom to killing.
With Joe gone Nick feels that it is over, although his conscience is still bothering him. I mean, after all, the gang would just bury their dead comrade and go on, right? Wrong. The leader of this little gang is Billy Darley, Joe’s older brother, and it doesn’t take long for Billy to figure out who killed his brother.
Billy and the boys track down Nick at his down town office where they try to take him out as he leaves for home and, during the chase, Nick tosses his brief case to lighten his load; big mistake. As the fight leads to the upper level of a parking structure another gang member is killed and Nick escapes to Billy’s frustration.
Retrieving the brief case, Billy finds what he needs and threatens Nick’s family and Nick calls Detective Wallis for help. Here is where I get annoyed with Wallis; according to her, the “war�?is Nick’s fault, he started it by killing Joe and making Billy mad. Detective Wallis was a little too liberal for my taste, sometimes; it seemed to me, that she had too much empathy for the gangs that killed for fun and profit.
The violence escalates to a home invasion; Nick survives and in the hospital finds out Lucas, the younger son, is barely hanging on. He’s had enough, “the equation is chaos�?and it will have to end. He sneaks out of the hospital and starts his quest.
He discovers where one of the gang members lives and decides he will need a few guns. The gun dealer is none other than John Goodman who also turns out to be Bones Darley; Yup, the “loving father�?of Joe and Billy. Apparently “loving�?is a loose term in this family as Bones tells Nick, “Go do what you have to do.�?nbsp;
The war goes from a gang member’s apartment to an abandoned hospital, where the gang has a meth lab; Nick takes on the rest of the gang through out the hospital in a gun fight that gets pretty gruesome, (dismemberment by shot gun starts it out.) The final shoot out is in, what looks like, the hospital chapel. Nick and Billy, both shot up, run out of bullets and Billy sits next to Hume and says, “Look at you; you look like one of us�? Oh, but wait, remember�?Nick bought two pistols. Hume pulls out the .44 mag and says, “You ready?�?BR>
I liked this movie, it wasn’t great but it was good. I want to say invigorating, but that would be a little macho wouldn’t it? Sometimes, though, it’s good to watch a vengeance flick; I mean... it’s better to live out your frustrations vicariously through the directors eyes than actually do it yourself.
Kevin Bacon and Garrett Hedlund, (Billy Darley), were really great in this one; I feel they really pegged their characters, alone; they make the movie worth seeing. As for John Goodman, (oh my, does he look bad in this movie), well, I don’t know what to say about his role, it is what it is.
I’ll give “Death Sentence�?three clouds out of five. It was good, and worth seeing, but it wasn’t great. The movie was predictable so it’s not so much a crime drama as it is a vigilante film; but it still has some surprises and Kevin Bacon adds a little more depth to the vigilant character. Here again, take your testosterone pills, you might need them. 
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3:10 To Yuma First let me tell you this; no I did not see the 1957 version with Glenn Ford, (as Ben Wade), and Van Heflin, (as Dan Evans), but it had to have been a great movie�?those are two great actors. Anyway, I say that to let you know that I can not compare it to the first movie; or neither can I compare to Elmore Leonard’s novel�?I didn’t read it.
Now, let’s get to the 2007 version�?OUTSTSANDING!!!!!!!!!! Oops, sorry, I got a little ahead of myself. Allow me to explain the movie just a tad.
Most westerns are either about: “A�? a lawman trying to save a town or, “B�? a rancher, or farmer, trying to save his land and feed his family. Well, �?:10 To Yuma�?is in category “B�?
Dan Evans, (Christian Bale), is a small time rancher, (who also has a wooden leg, he lost his leg in the civil war), trying desperately to save his land, which is about to be closed on by that nasty old Glen Hollander, (the banker or what ever he is). Hollander has even gone to the extent of sending men out to Evans�?ranch to harass him, and his family, by burning the barn down. Hollander needs Evans out soon because the rail road is coming through and there is money to be made.
On the other side there is Ben Wade, (Russell Crowe), the leader of a vicious gang of train and stage coach robbers. The gang has a serious problem in that they not only like the money, (rail road payroll), they get from the hold ups, but they enjoy the killing while they are at it. This, in my opinion, is where is a little different; to him, killing is merely part of the business; he neither enjoys nor has any regrets about it. It’s business, even if he has to kill his own men to prove a point.
Needless to say, the rail road and Grayson Butterfield want them badly; preferably dead.
During one such robbery Wade meets a foe, Byron McElroy, (Peter Fonda) that was a gun for hire on a specially outfitted stage coach. He kills everybody but McElroy, for some odd reason Wade likes him. As they leave the robbery they run into Dan Evans and his two sons, they take their horses promising to leave them tied up near Bisbee, Arizona. (Excellent little town by the way, I’ve been there and plan to go back some day).
After the robbery the gang stops at a saloon to split the booty. The gang goes on their way to where ever each man wants to go but Wade stays behind, he decided he wanted to make a little whoopee with the local saloon girl; bad move on his part, it gets him caught by the posse.
The next move is to take Wade to the nearest rail depot and get him on the 3:10 To Yuma to stand trial then be hanged. (Wow, talk about quick justice!). Anyway, they needed some good men and were offering good money. Well, Dan Evans needed the cash so he volunteered for his services. The group met at Dan’s ranch and made their plans. The trip, they knew, would be perilous; not only would they end up going through an area had rogue Apaches that hated white men, they knew that Charlie Prince, (Ben Foster), Wade’s, self-appointed, second-in-command, would get the gang back together and come to his rescue. Ah yes, a suicide mission at best. So, Dan, Byron McElroy, a Pinkerton agent and a few others set of with Wade in shackles; leaving Dan’s wife, Alice, at the ranch with their two sons.
Well, Dan’s oldest boy, Will, wasn’t having any of that. He snuck out of the house to join up with his dad; at 14 he felt he was old enough to be a tough guy.
From there the movie was building around the odd relationship between Ben Wade and Dan Evans and Dan’s son Will. As much as he didn’t want to, Ben Wade began to like Evans; even admire in some sort of way. Wade knew that that was a bad thing and he fought it in some pretty mean ways.
On the other hand, as they came closer to the show-down with mean Charlie Prince and the dirty half-dozen Dan became more concerned in proving to his son he was more than a cowardly rancher that lost his leg in some accident rather than battle; he needed more than his son’s love, he needed his respect.
So, do they make it to the rail-head and get Wade on the train? Does Dan get the money to save his ranch and, finally, the respect and love of his son? I ain’t going to tell you.
I did read a review, a few weeks ago, that said �?:10 To Yuma�?was the best cowboy/western ever made. Well, there I disagree; I still think that “Tombstone�? (1993), with Kurt Russell and Val Kilmer was the best western ever made. But �?:10 To Yuma�?is a very strong second. If you like westerns, you’ll love it. If you like something that has character relationship more than shoot-em-up, you’ll love it. Go see it, I mean it.
I will give, without apprehension, �?:10 To Yuma�?5 Clouds out of 5. I really liked it. 
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The Bucket List To start with, I am sure everyone knows, by now, what “The Bucket List�?is. It shows it in every commercial; but in case you didn’t catch it, I’ll tell you. A Bucket List is the list of things you would want to do, or accomplish, before you “kick-the-bucket�? The movie is a bit deeper than that; it apparently reaches out to the things you should do and just don’t realize it; if you don’t, or didn’t, catch that part than you just weren’t watching, go back and watch it again, it’s the best part of the 97 minutes; so put down the popcorn and pay attention.
We start with the amiable, and knowledgeable, auto mechanic, Carter Chambers, (superbly portrayed by Morgan Freeman), that finds out he has cancer and is hospitalized for treatments.
A quick scene change: A board meeting where billionaire businessman, Edward Cole, (excellent job by Jack Nicholson here), who, in his most arrogant way, is offering to buy a hospital and make a “for-profit�?hospital. His prime rule; “I run hospitals, not health spas. Two beds to a room, no exceptions!�?nbsp; During the meeting, Edward has an unusual coughing fit and coughs up blood�?Oops!
Edward is taken to the hospital and given a series of tests then is taken to a room where he immediately meets his roomy, Carter. Not good; he turns to his personal assistant, Thomas, (another great performance by Sean Hayes), and says, “I want my own room.�?To which Thomas replies, (whose name is actually Mathew, but that’s too Biblical.), “You run hospitals, not health spas. Two beds to a room, no exceptions.�?nbsp;
And there the fun begins; and the heart starts to beat to another rhythm. Dumb statement, but I had to say it.
During their stay at the hospital, the two men start making friends, for some reason the differences between a Black mechanic and a White billionaire start to fade. After a few days they both discover that their lives are limited and a “Bucket List�?is started; the doodling idea of Carter to begin with turns into a quest for both men.
The list is made, and added to as time goes by. All expenses paid by Edward they try to live out their wanna-dos. Of course, Carter’s wife, Virginia, is not happy and lets Edward know. But the quest, they decide, is a two man thing.
Their adventures go from sky diving to visiting the pyramids; from India to Hong Kong. All of this time Carter shares his wisdom and knowledge with the lovably stubborn and, at times, obnoxious, Edward. Over those few months their friendship grew and their relationship bounced from love to hate. Even when Edward tempted Carter’s virtuous nature and Carter pushed Edward’s stubborn resolve their friendship only grew stronger.
From his hospital bed, where Carter was worn and at his worse, Carter managed to cross off another item on the list; he laughed until he cried.
In my opinion, The Bucket List was a wonderful movie and well worth seeing. Even putting aside the few goofs I picked up, (for those of us that like to do those things), I will give The Bucket List 4½ out of 5 clouds.
Rob Reiner, (director), Morgan Freeman, Jack Nicholson and, yes I believe, Sean Hayes did great jobs in this flick. And let me say; if you didn’t snivel just a little bit�?you are one cold hearted son-of-a-b****. 
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Harry Potter
By
J.K. Rowling (A Book Review) Someone once told me that the “Harry Potter�?series was written for the prepubescent crowd or, at the most, middle teenagers. Well, let me say this about that; I just finished book seven, “The Deathly Hallows�? and, to be perfectly honest, that was the most fun I had in reading a series of books in a long time. Bravo Ms. Rowling for writing a story for kids that can, and does, entertain adults.
If you’re like me, when you start reading book 1, “The Sorcerer’s Stone�? and even some of number 2, “The Chamber of Secrets�? you’ll wonder to yourself, “Why am I reading this? It’s about an 11 year-old boy?�?nbsp; But, for some reason you’ll keep reading and, before you know it, Ron and Hermione have become your friends and Fred and George, well, they’re just plain fun guys. Somewhere between “The Chamber of Secrets�?and “The Prisoner of Azkaban�?you’re hooked!
The characters become real, more so, they become your friends; Harry, Ron, Hermione and the Weasleys along with Dumbledore and Hagrid are in your mental address book.
The series starts out with eleven year-old Harry, who was raised by his Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon Dursley who adored their spoiled, bully son, Dudley. Harry, in all of these years, was led to believe his Parents were killed in a car crash. To the Dursleys, Harry was less than family and was mistreated, bullied by Dudley and always given hand-me-downs. At 11, he got a surprise; an invitation to attend Hogwarts, a school for those with magical ability. Uncle Vernon tried over and over to hide these invites to no avail; the Ministry of Magic was insistent. So, Harry was off; it is at Hogwarts that Harry discovers his abilities and realizes why odd things would happen around him over the years.
The most surprising discovery was that he was marked, quite literally, as an infant, by the man that wants him dead. He was a legend and didn’t know it. He immediately had admirers, Ron, Neville, Seamus, Luna and others. At the same time he had distractors, Draco Malfoy among them.
With each book you cover a year in Harry’s life and education; his pick-me-ups and his let-downs. I found myself growing up with Harry; (Yeah, I’m 60 years old but I was a kid with a friend called Harry), his friends were my friends and his enemies, (Draco and Snape and the others), were my enemies. It was hard not to get wrapped up in Harry’s experiences. Yes, I even prickled from head to toe every time the beautiful Cho Chang walked by�?nbsp; Okay, that’s getting carried away but it was part of the experience to be with Harry as he tried, constantly, just to be a typical teenager, well, as much as a wizard can be. His life teachers, (Ted Lupin, Mad-Eye Moody�?no, not him, Mad-Eye Moody, and the others), were fun and informative.
Every book had new friends and, the big surprise, a godfather, Sirius Black, who was offering Harry the love and guidance he missed with the parents he never knew. Well, Ol�?Padfoot may not have been the perfect idol, but he tried.
I learned a new language; Death Eaters, muggles and mudblood. Discovered new places, Hogwarts and Hogsmeade; and even learned of a new sport, Quidditch. And the new animals; oh my! I can’t even begin to name them all.
I reveled in Harry’s joys and clutched in his tragedies as I read on through the series; chapter by chapter�?page by page; and when I discovered, head deep in the Pensieve of Severus, at Harry’s side, what was ultimately expected of him; I was as shocked as he was.
When I closed the final chapter on Harry Potter I was saddened; something would be missing now; (sigh)�?BR> When I think of all the magical things I read about, all the things witches and wizards can do; hide myself under the Cloak of Invisibility, look for my friends with the Marauders Map, the curses and potions�?hmph, all so believable. There is only one thing I would really like to have at home; The Room of Requirements, a place where anything is possible, a Room that is exactly what you need it to be, even if it’s different every time.
I can't completely cover all seven books in one short review; almost 5,600 pages in less than 2. But I liked Harry Potter and I'm going to give the booka 4.75 Clouds out of 5. I knocked off a little because of the slow start in the first two books. Read them!!! You won't regret it.
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I Am Legend First�?(Sigh)�?How do I say this? Okay, I read the book, (written in 1954 about 1976 Los Angeles), and went to see the movie, (made in 2007 about 2012 New York), and, to be honest, I liked both.
Go right ahead; read the book first then watch the movie. Trust me; you will get the feeling that you experienced two different stories.
Now, about the movie; the only thing that really bugged me about the flick is that the producers just had this stupid idea that New York is a better place to make a picture. (I heard Will Smith say this during an interview.) Maybe it’s because I am getting a little tired of New York having to be the center of everything; I’ve been there and had fun but, honestly, isn’t New York just a tad overrated? My apologies, I digress�?BR> “I Am Legend�?is about what may happen when a man-made medicinal virus goes awry and nearly wipes out human kind, (as we know it), in a pandemic of sorts. What is left are herds of night-seeking creatures with the one in New York being led by its alpha male, played by Dash Mihok, (see “Cavemen�?episode 1, he played Jamie). Our hero, Dr. Robert Neville, played by Will Smith, (excellent, Excellent, EXCELLENT actor), has survived for years living alone with his trusty side-kick, Sam, played by Kona�?okay, it’s his dog. Anyway, Robert is determined that he can cure the night-seekers and make them human again�?Well, at least more human than they are. Why, you ask? Because Robert is immune to this virus and he is sure that, with the right combinations of his DNA mixed with whatever else he works with, he can find a cure.
Most of the movie is centered around Neville’s eccentric exploits while foraging for food and broadcasting his presence over different radio bands looking, in high hopes, for someone else that is immune, or at least more human, that will hear him and show up at the dock where he spends his days practicing golf off the tail end of an aircraft carrier�?or was that the front end? Which ever�?BR> Other than that his entertainment are the night-seekers, (which howl at him from the darkness of abandoned buildings), and the mannequins, yup, the mannequins. Now, Fred, (mannequin #1), is his buddy that he talks to at the video store and there are a few other customers and the clerk; although, it appears, that Robert has the hots for the little chickie in the back. (Oh my, this is getting sad.)
At nights he returns to his bat-cave, (which is a beautiful two-story affair in the suburbs of NYC), and locks himself, and Sam, in for the night; I mean, literally, locks it up; wow, talk about a fortress. Here he fires up his generators and he and Sam settle in for the night of dinner and videos.
Did I fail to mention that the night-seekers look at a normal human as a tasty treat? Must’ve slipped my mind; blood thirsty zombies is what they are.
Anyway, an unfortunate incident with his buddy, Fred, puts Robert in a predicament with the night-seekers. Robert loses his best friend and, in anger, goes out for vengeance�?which turns his world upside down, quite literally. Just as it seems it’s the end for Neville, as luck would have it, someone answers his radio calls!
From this point on it slips down hill a little. Robert and his hero, Anna, disagrees on the health of the world. Anna feels that there are others gathering in a fortress in an effort to bring back the human race. Robert feels that, well, this is it. Somehow, I think, he feels that this is punishment from God for dabbling in the wrong places.
In the end�?Well, I ain’t gonna tell that part; I’ll only say that, as weird as this may sound, I liked the end of the book better.
I liked the beginning of the movie and really enjoyed the escapades of Robert and Sam through most of the movie, but the end�?well, it left something out. I can’t explain it, it just missed the mark. I’m afraid that I will only give “I Am Legend�?3 out of 5 Clouds, and only that much because I enjoyed the performance of Will Smith in the lead role; very credible performance.
Well, that’s it; rent the movie, it’s worth the price of a rental and an evening with friends or family.
So, until the next time, remember,�?Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.�?/FONT> |
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We Own The Night “We Own The Night�?was potentially a good movie that somehow wasn’t. Somewhere in the making of “Night�?something went awry; I can’t quite put my finger on it or say, exactly, why; it just didn’t make it.
The cast was pretty good; Joaquin Phoenix as Bobby (Grusinsky) Green, Mark Wahlberg as Police Captain Joe Grusinsky and Robert Duvall as Deputy Police Chief Albert “Bert�?Grusinsky. (Ah yes, a father and his two sons.)
Then, of course, there was Eva Mendes as Bobby’s girlfriend Amada. If you ask me she was just the eye-candy to take your mind off the poor production. Oh, sorry ladies; Mark Wahlberg was there for you but�?BR> Anyway, our story is, of course, about a family, (in 1988 New York City), with a tradition deeply rooted behind the badge. And the prodigal son that even forsakes the family name, (Green is mom’s maiden name), to hide the fact that his family is all police. Bobby prefers the glitzy life style of running a night club; and a huge one at that! The club is owned by, one, Marat Buzhayev; a Russian immigrant gentleman with money to spare. Marat is so impressed by Bobby’s management he offers to make him manager of two clubs and, eventually, he will be more involved in the “family�?business. To keep the club rising in popularity Bobby turns a deaf ear and a blind eye to the drug dealers that permeate the club on a nightly basis. Bobby even denies knowing the existence of members of the Russian mafia when questioned about them by his dad and brother.
One night, Police Captain Grusinsky, and his anti-drug team, raid Bobby’s club and make several arrests; which include Bobby himself, and Vadim Nezhinski, (a known dangerous lieutenant in the Russian mafia.) Bobby is livid and, when no one is looking, gets in his brother’s face and faily ties are strained; Bobby turns to his adopted family, the Buzhayev family, for some love and relief.
Well, needless to say, Bobby isn’t the only one that is fit to be tied. Contracts are made and hits are gonna be made. Captain Joe Grusinsky is shot in the face by an unknown, masked, assailant outside of his home shortly before Thanksgiving. The word reaches Bobby and he is stunned. More over, he is hard pressed trying to make amends with his family. So, on the side, with another drug enforcement officer he offers to go under cover, (against Deputy Chief Grusinsky’s orders), and things go wrong.
Bobby has to be hidden from the mafia hit men and the police are still scratching their heads as to who the “Big Boss�?of the Russian Mafia is.
In a jumble of events Vadim escapes from “high-security�?lock-up and, while Bobby is being transferred from one hidey-hole to another, the Grusinsky family takes another hit�?A bad one. And in a blink Captain Joe rises from his near-death-bed and Bobby is sworn in as an honorary police officer for this one case; to take down the Russian Drug ring. (Honorary cop? Can you do that?)
Anyway, Bobby becomes disheartened when his good friends at the club aren’t as friendly as he had hoped and he is stunned when he pressures his best bud, Jumbo Falsetti, into telling him who the Grand Poopa of the Russian Mafia is. The only thing that surprised me is that Bobby was surprised; c’mon man, it was obvious! (And just how did Jumbo know where Bobby was all that time? Ooooh!)
The ending was predictable but I still ain’t gonna tell you. Even Captain Joe’s post-stress-whatever.
After the introductory scenes the movie became jumbled and confused. Somewhere along the line Bad Bobby became the hero and Hero Joe, well, coulda did better. Even with the steamy scenes that included Eva Mendes I can only give “We Own The Night�?two starts out of five. But if you want to rent it and kill a few hours, it’s still worth three bucks as long as six of you share the cost.
Well, that’s it for this one y’all, so ‘til the next time remember, “War does not determine who is right, war determines who is left.�?/FONT> 
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Iron Man Okay, okay; I’m a bit late here but I still had to write this one. It was a busy week last week; one boss just took me out to lunch and another called me to his office to discuss a possible promotion but I’d have to take a transfer to get it. After some thought, (and a talk with my real boss), I said, “Okay, how many zeros come behind that $? Now I’m waiting to hear from another boss; geeze, multi-national corporations are a pain in the butt�?Alright, it’s only Canada and the States, but that is still multi-national isn’t it?
Oops, lost in my thoughts there, let’s get back to “Iron Man�? One Sunday morning my wife, (the real boss in case you didn’t guess it), some friends and I decided to take in a movie although the choices, for adults, were dismal. After some discussion we settled on “Iron Man�? we figured, what the hell, we take in the cheep-o, early AM shows so what is there to lose but time and a few bucks�?and $20 worth of gas!!! Kidding�?a little.
Anyway, we settled in with low expectations, watched the ads and upcoming trailers, (Star Trek 2009!!!!!!, Eeehaw!!!), sorry, sorry�?where was I? Oh yeah, then the flick began; and, you know what? We were very entertained! Even the boss enjoyed it, and for my wife to say she liked a fantasy hero pic is something.
We start with an arrogant billionaire business tycoon and genius, Tony Stark, (Robert Downey Jr., GREAT performance by the way!), getting caught up in something he never, ever though would happen to him; I mean, after all, he’s rich and famous. He gets kidnapped by terrorists! For a moment I was confused here because of the flashback thing movies do, but it clears itself up after a bit.
Anyway, While he’s in Afghanistan showing off his new weapon, (Stark Industries is a weapons manufacturer), Tony’s convoy is attacked by terrorists and, while trying to escape the carnage, Tony whips out his trusty cell phone to call Jim Rhodes, (his best friend, confidant, and military attaché to Stark Ind.), to come and get him when a small bomb lands next to him�?to his surprise and dismay it’s logo is none other than Stark Ind.! (Who could this dastardly bas***d be that sells his weapons to the terrorists?)
When he comes to Tony discovers he is attached to a car battery; his fellow captive, Yinsen, explains it is needed to keep him alive due to the shrapnel near his heart. Now; enter Raza, grand-poopah of The Ten Rings, (the terrorist group). His request is simple; build a missile for the terrorists to use against non-believers, or whatever, (I get lost in all that religious/political poo-pah). Tony says, not gonna happen and�?after some torture and all sorts of bad experiences, Stark finally gives them the list of things he will need to develop the weapon�?As it turns out, not just any old weapon, but The Weapon. Part of this handy-dandy weapon, though, is a portable power pack that, coincidentally, fits right in the middle of Tony’s chest; the car battery was a bit cumbersome.
The first use of this modern day suit of armor was a bit clumsy but fun none the less. (Don Quixote would’ve been proud.) After his escape from the caves of Afghanistan Tony makes a graceful crash landing, (is there such a thing?), in the desert and is immediately rescued by his friend, Jim Rhodes. Puzzling; how did Rhodes know where he was?
Upon his return to the States Stark gathers his closest people and announces that Stark Ind. Would no longer be making weapons of mass destruction and immediately starts to refine his suit of armor. This is not good news to his share holders and they tell him that much through his right hand man, and good friend, Obadiah Stane, a surprisingly good role by Jeff Bridges. I say that because I was surprised when I got home and realized who the actor was; an interesting new look for our Mr. Bridges.
Then Tony gets his personal assistant, and good friend, Pepper Potts and asks her to help him find out who is betraying his trust by selling weapons to the terrorists. Pepper, of course, is played by Gwyneth Paltrow; I don’t know what to say about her role but she’s just so darned cute! Especially when she sticks her hand in his chest to replace his power pack! Eeewww!!!
So, what do we have now? Three associates and good friends? I believe I first head this said in “The Godfather�?and it went something like this; “Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer.�?nbsp; Well, Tony discovers that they can be one and the same.
The movie is fun as Tony develops his Mark-2 Iron Man suit and takes out a few his high priced cars in the process; then, of course, there’s the high speed race across the ocean with a few high-tech jet fighters.
During all this, the Iron Man does manage to destroy an arsenal of Stark Inc. weapons stashed in the mountains of North Afghanistan and kicks some serious butt of the baddys that were harassing the local citizenry.
The finale is, of course, somebody�?some dastardly bad guy develops his own Iron Monger outfit using the plans he copped from Tony’s original; but he had a big problem�?he could not figure out the Ark Reactor technology, (the power pack)�?Hmmm, just where could he find a power pack ready made? Ah ha! Tony’s chest!
It’s a fun and entertaining movie and I don’t want to say more, except to say; go watch it.
I will give it, hmmm, oh 4 out of 5 clouds just because the characters are so superbly played and Pepper is just so darned cute.
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“You Don’t Mess With Zohan�?BR>(And I’m Not Sure I Want To.) Sigh. Sigh!! SIGH!!!!!! What can I say about Zohan except, save your money. No, don’t even rent it, wait until it makes the Late, Late Show circuit and you can’t sleep and have absolutely nothing else to do. Not since “Ishtar�? (1987), with Warren Beatty and Dustin Hoffman have I seen a movie so profoundly stupid; “Ishtar was so bad it didn’t even make it to “It’s a Bad, Bad, Bad Movie�? (an on line movie reviewer of, possibly, the worst movies ever made.) Now, somehow I feel “Zohan�?will do the same; well, except for the cult movie bunch and the Adam Sandler fans who, apparently, will watch anything that moves in front of them�?and a few things that don’t move, (i.e. old T.V. test patterns.)
Okay, okay. This is my opinion and who cares about my opinion? Me for one.
I mean, if you’re into such things as watching someone catch grilled fish in his butt crack, snatching bullets with his nostril and feeding his weenie to a carnivorous sea creature, (Most of the time he’s naked or in his circa 1962 cut-off Levi’s.), you’ll love it. Alright, alright; I’ll tell you about Zohan, if I can. Zohan, (Adam Sandler), is one of Israel’s best; his abilities to track down and capture terrorists are only outmatched by his arrogance about it. Alas, our hero has tired of being a top Mossad agent and decides he wants to be a hair stylist in America. So, one fine day while trying to bring down a Palestinian Terrorist, the Phantom, Zohan fakes his own death and, with a 20 year-old Paul Mitchell in hand, heads for the good ol�?U.S.A�?in the cargo hull of a passenger jet with two dogs, Scrappy and Coco, as his companions.
Upon his arrival he changes his name to, (ready?), Scrappy Coco and sets out, (in a really bad 1980’s shag hair style), to build his new career. He is soon let down when he realizes that the first thing he needs to do is learn how to style hair, DUH! Scrappy settles into a Middle-Eastern neighborhood and settles for a job sweeping hair at a local salon owned by a Palestinian woman. Soon he is styling hair and giving macho favors to the elderly ladies in the back room; life is good. That is until the neighborhood starts burning and the Jews blame the Arabs while the Arabs blame the Jews and soon the fight is on, none of realizing that the bad guys were hired by a greedy developer, (“Are you ready to Rumble?), who wants to change the area into condos and an upscale mall. In the mean time Phantom becomes a hero and grows wealthy by opening a chain of Fast food restaurants in Palestine. Life is good; that is until a call from America tells him that Zohan is alive and his hero life is a fraud.
Anyway, the whole thing culminates during a hackey-sack, (is that spelled right?), championship when the local terrorists, (a bunch of rednecks hired by the developer), start burning up what’s left of the Mid-East ‘hood. And then�?and then�?and then the battle of battles comes down to the rednecks vs, none other than, the Phantom and Zohan fighting them off back-to-back. Want more? They are being cheered on by Mariah Carey!
I don’t want to go on; please don’t make me go on, the memory’s are really bad.
Well, I will gladly give Zohan zero Clouds! Sorry, I just couldn’t take it anymore. If you are a Sandler fan you probably will like it; if not, save your money. Actually, I’d give it three clouds if they would take it out of the theatres. 
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Get Smart Back in the beginning of his career our favorite bungling CONTROL agent 86, (Steve Carell), was an analyst with constant daydreams of working in the field with CONTROL’s super star agent 23, (Dwayne Johnson). One fine day the American headquarters of the spy agency is bombed and the identity of all their field agents is compromised, so the Chief, (Alan Arkin), is left with little choice but to put Maxwell Smart into the field partnered with, (who else?), agent 99, (The gorgeous Anne Hathaway). For some reason here, agents 99, 23, 13, (Bill Murray), 91 (Terry Crews) and a few others never have names�?just numbers.
Anyway, it’s up to Max and 99 to uncover the latest plot by KAOS to dominate the world. While searching around the world Max and 99 discover a hide-out with, what appears to be, “yellow cake�? (nuclear material). Before the CONTROL teams could move in their plan is foiled by KAOS and Max is suspected of being a double agent. WHAT? Our Maxwell Smart? Our favorite CONTROL agent 86? Nahh!
With Max in custody KAOS moves to blow up a concert with the President, (James Caan), and other world leaders in attendance. While in his cell, the analyst, agent 86, figures out the devious plot and, some how, escapes and uses a few museum pieces in his valiant effort to save the world�?again. Oh, the museum pieces you ask? Well, a classic sports car and a shoe phone, what else?
The plot thickens from here and the true double agent is uncovered, whom, you wonder. You’ll have to see for yourself.
Get Smart was fun and it was funny. At many places laugh-out-loud funny. To you classic television purists, I apologize but, 10 minutes in to the movie Steve Carell was, is Maxwell Smart, agent 86. And Anne Hathaway did a super job as 99; in one part while Max and 99 were in disguise she even donned the classic Barbara Feldon coif.
Hymie’s even in there, for a moment.
A great job was done by all and Get Smart is smart�?and funny, it is well worth $7 and an afternoon out. I have to give it 4½ clouds; hmm, maybe 4-3/4 clouds but that’s all. What about 5 you ask? Missed it by that much!
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Hancock Wow! Where do I begin here; this was a pretty damned good movie for something the script writers tried to screw up! Sorry, you’ll have to go watch the movie to understand why I said that. Granted, the movie could have been better but, with Will Smith as the lead character, it’s just hard to figure out how. Have I confused you enough yet? Figure it out; Will Smith could play a cadaver and give an award winning performance.
Sometime in the late 1920’s a man woke up in a Florida hospital unaware of who he was or how he ended up in the hospital. The doctors say that, apparently, somebody beat him pretty bad, especially about the head. What confused the medical staff is his body became impenetrable, (needles bent when they tried to give him a shot); and it healed itself. When he left the hospital the nurse asked him to sign his John Hancock right there; he though that was his real name and he kept it. This isn’t shown in the movie, they just explain it somewhere.
Circa, 2008; the good, the bad and the ugly, (my apologies to Sergio Leone and Clint Eastwood, I stole that one). The good thing is, Los Angeles has a super hero by the name of John Hancock, (Will Smith); the bad thing is, every time he does something heroic he does so much damage everyone hates him for it; and the ugly is…well, Will Smith playing a washed up, passed out on a bench, drunken hero is just ugly, even for Will Smith. His antics are so bad that rather than applaud their hero, they want him to pack up and leave town.
One fine day Hancock saves the life of one, Ray Embrey, (Jason Bateman), a Public Relations Executive and in the process destroys a train engine, about 50, or so, rail cars and a few automobiles in the process. So, nobody’s perfect. Anyway, Ray Embrey feels beholdin�?to Hancock and makes it his life’s journey to help Old John improve his image and have the crowds cheering their hero rather than jeering him and referring to him as “a**hole�? Which he hates.
When Ray goes home and advises his wife, Mary, (Charlize Theron), of his idea she, for some odd reason, is not as excited about helping Hancock as her husband. In fact it almost seems that she is trying to shoo Hancock away. (Hmm, what is that is going on here? I can’t tell you! Ha, ha ha.)
Ray’s idea of cleaning up Hancock’s image is to him John turn himself in to the authorities, (apparently he has a few warrants for his arrest but no one wanted to cuff huff him), and serve his time like a good boy, and then maybe, in his absence, things will get so bad the city will want him back. Well, going to prison is not always the best thing for a guy that put about half prison population in there. While serving time Ray makes a Super-hero Uniform for Hancock and begs him to use it when he gets out. Also, while in the big house, May comes to visit and tells Hancock not to let Ray down. Hmm, Hancock senses that there is more to this plea than meets the eye. She wants him out of their lives, but why? He’s never done anything to her�?BR> The time comes and the hero is needed. The bad guys have hostages and the police don’t know what to do but call Hancock and pray that he has straightened his act up. Well, the good-guy, super-hero shows up in his new “uniform�?and does a stupendous job and all is forgiven and everybody loves him; well, except for Mary. Uhm, well�?BR> Following a heroic episode there is dinner at the house of Embrey and afterward Ray retires as Mary cleans up and, what’s this; a romantic moment between Mary and Hancock? Aw, what the hell, what’s one little kiss between friends. And the next thing you know, KABAM, Hancock is dragging his self off a car parked on the street feeling fortunate that the refrigerator landed near him and not on him.
Okay, now I can’t explain after that moment; whether it was a shift change at “Script-Writers-R-Us�?but the movie lost some of its luster at that point. It’s hard to describe but, although still entertaining, something was lacking in the last third of the film as Mary and Hancock flew all over LA, seemingly, trying to beat the tar out of each other; don’t ask, you have to go see it.
Then, just to add good-guy-bad-guy to it, four bad guys decide to join forces (and hands…sorta), and go after Hancock, the man that caused them to lose face.
After one hell of a battle in a hospital, no less, Hancock realizes that the best thing for him to do would be to get as far away from Mary as possible, (something else that has to be explained in the movie; sigh, sorry about all this).
Anyway, all’s well that ends well; Hancock finally realizes his place in society and Mary and Ray go off to live, (hopefully), ever after. Oh, and the Moon has a new look.
Even after slamming the last part of the film I will still give it, mmmm, 4 Clouds out of 5. Will Smith brings out the best in a so-so situation. 
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WALL-E WALL-E is a movie that has all the promise and hope to be a cute movie that could be totally heart-warming and entertaining enough to draw, not just the kids but, the adults in and make them all feel warm and fuzzy; and, ya’know, somewhere in this 90 minute, (plus or minus), animated flick�?it misses. I know, I know; I’ve seen the sweet little robot getting 9 out of 10 stars and great raves and I really looked forward to seeing it; especially being it is a, sort of, namesake. I go by Wally to friends and family. But I can not even begin to tell you how seriously let down I was when the movie was over. The wife and her friend, Sylvia, quietly whispered through the whole film and my friend, Fred, slept while I tried as hard as I could to remain interested.
Okay, here it is. In the not too distant future the Earth becomes too filthy and polluted for human life so a greedy mega-corporation, (no, not Wal-Mart; although that would have been funny), Buy N Large, builds a giant space station and takes a bunch of human beings and shoots them into the depths of space to get fat and stupid while leaving behind a robot, WALL-E, (only one?), to clean up the mess they left behind. WALL-E would spend his days compacting the garbage and junk and arranging it in nice neat little squares, or piles, (or what-ever), all the while saving trinkets and doo-dads in an old cooler. One day, while cleaning up, WALL-E found a small plant growing so he scooped it up and put it in an old boot to add to his collection.
His main entertainment was his collection of trinkets and an occasional musical that he would play on his VCR, (I think), and his pet cockroach. Needless to say he was very lonely and would moon as he viewed the happy couples holding hands in the musicals. I mean, after 700 years anything could get lonely; I’m surprised the cockroach wasn’t attacking the old Twinkie wrappers!
Well, lo and behold, Buy N Large would send a drone ship out every once in a while that would leave a recon-robot behind that would search the planet to determine if it could sustain life once again. The latest robot left behind was a beautiful, (well, to WALL-E), but wildly dangerous. Yup, she was built to defend herself at all costs.
WALL-E watched from a safe distance as she searched the landscape for signs of life until, by accident, WALL-E reveals his self. After introductions, (WALLLEEEE. EEEVUH.) WALL-E becomes immediately enamored by this new critter and begins to get ideas�?of holding hands. But, Eve’s job is finding life and she must continue, (I guess cockroaches don’t count), although she is amused by WALL-E and his pet cockroach.
WALL-E’s systems pick up and approaching wind/sand storm and rescues Eve from certain destruction, (or, at the very least, a serious sand-blasting), and takes her to his little home�?whatever it is. WALL-E tries desperately to entertain her with his collection of trinkets and toys and junk he has collected over the 700 years that he has been there; including spare parts of his own kind. But, when he tries to woo her with a potted-plant, (or would that be booted-plant), she immediately grabs it, places it inside her, and shuts down to a catatonic state while sending a signal to the space station; life has been found.
For several days WALL-E watched over the inert form of Eve protecting her from wind, rain and lightning. And then the giant drone ship returns and snatches Eve and prepares to take off. WALL-E orders his pet cockroach to stay and latches on to the ships ladder and goes for the ride of the millennium; in his case almost quite literally. After experiencing a few of the sights space has to offer they arrive at the Buy N Large residential ship. WALL-E scrambles to keep up with still form of Eve dodging in and out of robots and men and women that spend their lives on hovering lounge chairs eating food through a straw and too busy watching monitors right in front of their faces to see what is around them, (“We got a pool?�? All of the humans are so fat they can hardly move out of their chairs.
Okay, this is getting long so I’ll condense what’s left�?if I can.
Eve is re-activated by the captain who is surprised that a probe actually returned with some sort of life form. Soon there is a battle, of sorts, between WALL-E, Eve, the captain and a handful of broken robots versus the misguided automatic co-captain, Auto, who was preprogrammed to halt any efforts to return to Earth. Auto, of course, has control of all the police robots and various machines of destruction that are trying to destroy the “Living Plant�? WALL-E, Eve, M-O and their rag-tag band of broken machines go on the chase of the plant while the captain, who can barely move, struggles with Auto for control of the ship. How would a fat, lazy captain out-fight a robot you ask? Ahhhh, the manual over-ride!
Alright, it’s a Disney animated feature; need I tell you how it ends? Invite a dozen friends over next month and rent the video; it’d be worth a quarter each; two and a quarter if you want some drinks and micro-wave popcorn. If you’ve read this whole thing you can see that it really had potential; it’s just that, somewhere along the line, it missed.
Sigh! So sorry WALL-E, my little buddy; I can only give you, at the most, 2 Clouds out of 5.
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(Note From TheCloudWalker: Please excuse this as I was interrupted several times and haven't had time to check it out so I do hope it doesn't seem disjointed or confusing. That being said...) BATMAN: The Dark Knight Warning; if you are going to see this movie anytime soon, go away. I don’t want to ruin it for you. On the other hand, stick around; I’ll try not to tell you too much about this latest episode about our brooding hero that seems to have a lot of plastic surgery. Okay, in guess you didn’t get it, that was a joke. You know, how many actors played Batman? Just ask how many movies there were; there was “Batman�?in 1989 with Michael Keaton as the masked hero; followed by the 1992 “Batman Returns also with Michael Keaton; Take a bow Michael, you’re through. 1995 brought us “Batman Forever�?starring Val Kilmer as the caped crusader; this one was backed up with Tommy Lee Jones, Nicole Kidman, (Eeeyah, hot hot.) and Jim Carrey. Hmm, the supporting casts are getting better.
1997 introduced the next one, “Batman and Robin�?with George Clooney and Chris O’Donnell as the dynamic duo, backed up by Uma Thurman, (oh yeah!), and Hizzoner Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger as the freeze-inator. Then in 1993 there was “Batman: Mask of the Phantasm�?with Mark Hamill as the Batman�? Was that a movie? Wait, that was an animation, sorry.
Moving right along, faster than Hollywood, “Batman Begins�?shows up in 2005 with Christian Bale’s first shot at playing the man. And here it is 2008 with “The Dark Knight�?and Christian Bale, once again, as The Batman; also, Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine and Gary Oldman return to take up their roles as Lucius Fox, Alfred Pennyworth and Lt. James Gordon, respectively.
New to the mix, (I hope I’m not blowing this), is Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent/Two-Face; Maggie Gyllenhaal as Rachel Dawes; and�?and�?and the man that stole the show right out form under Christian Bale’s feet, (Chris! You are supposed to be the hero here right?). Last but far from least�?Heath Ledger as “THE J-O-K-E-R�?
Sad but true, the bad guy, I mean the really bad, no-good son-of-a�?well, you know. He stole the whole show; my God what a performance.
My apologies, I wandered off.
“The Dark Night�?was a really, really good movie and well worth the money to see it; you want to know why it’s breaking box office records? People are going to see it twice because it is really good�?BUT! Don’t get me wrong, it is not great; it is not an epic or what ever you want to say. It is just really good SHOW and I will probably rent the movie so I can watch it at home; don’t want to ruin my reputation as a cynic ya�?know.
Okay here we go; the flick was pretty long so I’ll try not to prattle here. The movie starts with an elaborate bank robbery pulled off by the, one and only, Joker. To make things more interesting, the bank is a money-laundering operation for the mob; but the Joker tells the Capo bank manager to shove it�?Quite literally actually.
Next we have a clean cut, and totally honest, assistant DA, Harvey Dent in court trying to put mob boss, Salvatore Maroni (Eric Roberts) in prison only to have his key witness, while on the stand, turn on him; he lies about the mob boss and then pulls a gun on Dent. To which, Harvey disarms the thug and punches him in the face! The judge is not happy.
Yup, Gotham City is in the clutches of the mobs, (there is more than one), and it becomes clear that it will be up to the city’s cloaked vigilante to settle the matter. To make things worse for the Batman there are some citizens that feel Batman needs help so they dress in cheesy costumes and try to intimidate hoods into believing that they are being chased by the caped one himself. This part’s a little dumb, but it has its reason that you’ll see later in the film.
With multiple plots and the line between the good guys and the bad guys gets a little blurred some times, so you really gotta keep up; and I’ll try not to ruin it for you. There’s the mobs posturing to rule the city; the Assistant DA Dent out to stop them; the Joker doing what the Joker does; and the love triangle between the Batman, Harvey Dent and the beautiful Rachel Dawes�? (Somebody go see the movie and help me here; I’m not saying she’s homely or anything, but I’m having trouble with the beautiful part.)
The mob starts off as being really ticked at the Joker but is desperate to get rid of the Batman. Batman has an iffy reputation with the general public so they look for a way to expose him as a not-so-good guy. While in a teleconference with the money man, Lau, (Chin Han), (Money man for all the mobs), the Joker just strolls in and, after a gruesome magic trick, makes a deal with the mobs; for half of all the money he will take care of the Batman once and for all.
The one thing that nobody expected is that the Joker has no remorse and plays by no rules; he does what ever he wants and that’s all; oh, and he really doesn't care about the money as you will see in the movie. He can’t even make up his mind who gave him those hideous scars he covers up with his war paint. At one point he is tossed off of a building and laughs as the many stories rush past him; was it no fear or did he know that Batman would lasso him and pull him back to safety? Still laughing he looked at Batman and said, (I’ll paraphrase here), “You can’t kill me because of your pathetic rules and I won’t kill you because you’re so much fun.�?nbsp; Sorry, got ahead of myself.
The Batman has a lot to do here; he hast to travel to Hong Kong and bring Lau back to face a courtroom, (awesome jump!). And he has to run down the Joker before he kills everybody in Gotham City. All this is tied together, really.
Only one person seemed to have an idea of what made the Joker tick, and that was Alfred. He told Bruce Wayne the Joker reminded him of a man that he tried to hunt down years before; but every time they thought they had him, he disappeared into the forest, befuddling them all.
The PG rating amuses me; I mean the Joker kills a lot of people and blows up hospitals and boats and all sorts of mass destruction. Well, you know Hollywood.
Just when Batman figures he’s got the Joker locked up he is told that their clean cut, heroic Assistant DA, Harvey Dent and the love of their lives, the beautiful, (sigh, sorta), Rachel Dawes are both in peril and Batman, “…You only have enough time to save one of them; the choice is yours.�?nbsp; Or something like that. Oh my, choices, choices. Any way, I won’t say who, but he truly only had time to save one of them, the other had to be sacrificed.
And the Joker laughed as he created havoc in the lock-down cells and moseyed through the cell block to finish the job; the reason he got himself arrested. Tsk, tsk; such a devious little ruffian.
So much more to tell, but, you’ll just have to go see it; hell, this would take ten pages just to cover the main. Anyway, the Joker seems as maniacal as the Batman is morose. Our boy, Bruce Wayne, nearly seems depressed as you watch him wade through the bad guys; (and believe me, that, sometimes, got awfully confusing), and trying desperately to salvage a love life. The only sane people in the whole movie were Alfred and Lucius. Lucius resigned and Alfred�?well, Alfred, always loyal to Master Wayne; his advice was, “Burn the forest down.�?/FONT>
Okay, now the rating; 4½ Clouds out of 5, sorry, I don’t do�?Okay, in this case I will; I rate it at 4 ¾ Clouds out of 5. And that’s pretty good really. I’m not knocking it; I reiterate�?it was really good, just not great.
Okay, have a great day y’all and remember, “Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn’t have in your home.�?/FONT> |
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Mamma Mia! Well, it happened; my precious lady pulled out the collar and leash and, quite literally, dragged me to a chick-flick, dot, dot, dot; “Mamma Mia�? I was warned early on that some of the cast members were not singers, and Pierce Brosnan, (as Sam Carmichael), proved that point right away. Okay, I’ll give him this much; he could carry a tune which is more than I could do. Also, now I am thoroughly convinced that Meryl Streep can make anything work; she pulled this one off with panache and style.
Yes, I completely enjoyed the movie and even caught myself toe-tapping to many of those great ABBA songs; I wasn’t a huge ABBA fan back in the old days when I used to party a lot and dot, dot, dot; but many of their songs were memorable.
Alright, alright; the movie. The film is about 20 year-old Sophie, (Amanda Seyfried), that is about to be married, and is about to put the finishing touches on her wedding party, (dot, dot, dot,), by inviting her father to walk her down the aisle. (I’ll explain the “dot, dot, dot,�?in a moment.) You see, Sophie’s mom, Donna, (Meryl Streep), never discussed the father with Sophie; mostly because she didn’t know who the father was! Apparently she had an affair with three different men at about the time of Sophie’s conception and, as time passed, didn’t want to have to deal with figuring out who the father was. Besides, she pretty much raised Sophie all by her self and didn’t want to be upstaged by “an ejaculation�? as she so eloquently put it.
Now; scene two, stage left; Sophie meets two of her friends at the dock, (her and Donna live on an island in an aging resort of some sort), and tells them of her plans of inviting her father. When they asked her if she knows who daddy is she says no, but explains that she read mom’s diary, and then she opens the said diary and begins reading, “We danced on the beach, kissed on the beach and dot, dot, dot.�?nbsp; To which, she explained that “dot, dot, dot,�?was how they did it in the old days! Then she said, “Honey, honey, how you thrill me, ah, hah, honey, honey…�?nbsp; (I’ll stop with the dot, dot, dot, now.)
Next to join the party are members of Donna’s old singing group, “Donna and the Dynamos�? this consists of Rosie, (Julie Waters), a writer of some ilk, and Tanya, (Christine Baranski), an aging hottie that still got it! Amazing enough, the Dynamos�?are pretty damned good; their renditions of “Dancing Queen�?and “Super Trouper�?will amaze you; it did me!
The island fills with guests when the, unbeknownst to them, the would-be fathers show up. Role call gents: Bill Anderson, (Stellan Skarsgard), a well known adventurer who swears to remain the “lone wolf�?type. Then there is Sam Carmichael, the well to do architect. And, bringing up the rear and nearly falling in the sea well doing it, is Harry “Head Banger�?Bright, the very well off, banker who swears that Donna was the first girl he ever loved�?actually, the only girl he ever loved.
Try as she may, Sophie is just not successful in hiding the fathers from her mother until she can surprise her mother on her wedding day. Uhm, this whole movie takes place in, I believe, three days. While searching through the goat house for, whatever, Donna hears noises coming from the upper level and she peaks through a crack in the flooring only to see�?
“Mamma Mia, here I go again My my, how can I resist you Mamma Mia, does it show again My my, just how I’ve missed you…�?/DIV> And the beat goes on�?Oh wait, that was somebody else!
For the next few days Donna does what she can to avoid her ex-lovers and Sophia does all she can to keep the daddy-trio from leaving.
Although predictable, the movie is fun to watch; the good, the bad and the�?Mamma Mia, there I go again; mixing my songs and movies. All during the flick you just knew in your heart Donna was going to end up with somebody of the three ex-beaus; unless you were like some of us, you knew right away Harry Bright was out for obvious reasons.
Although I did admire Brosnan’s efforts at “SOS�?and “When All Is Said and Done�? he�?well, he tried his best. My pleasant surprises were Donna and the Dynamo’s version of “Super Trouper�?while entertaining the girls at the bridal shower; and, as I said earlier, “Dancing Queen�?while jumping on the bed. Another surprise was “Our Last Summer�?sung by Harry, (Colin Firth); whoudathunkit? The guy’s good. And I really got a kick out of “Take A Chance On Me�?marvelously done by Julie Waters.
Everybody, it seems, had an aria to be proud of, so I don’t want to leave out Amanda Seyfried’s “I Have a Dream�? Christine Baranski having fun with the boys and belting out “Does Your Momma Know�? And Meryl Streep, once again, with “Slipping Through My Fingers�?
Okay, so you don’t like chick-flicks and this wasn’t an Andrew Lloyd Webber classic; it wasn’t meant to be! If you aren’t tapping you feet to “Dancing Queen�? “Honey, Honey�?and “Voulez-Vous”�?you died.
I am giving “Mamma Mia�? (drum roll please), Four Clouds out of Five; four because I had a good time with it; only Four because it wasn’t a Webber piece. |
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Tropic Thunder On Sunday Karen and I went to Harkins Theatres at Chandler Crossroads and met up with our friends, Fred and Sylvia, to take in a movie; Tropic Thunder. Grabbed a box of popcorn, (a day at the movies just ain’t right without popcorn), joked around as we strolled into auditorium 12, climbed the steps about halfway up and settled in�?About 2 hours later we walked outside; I looked at Fred and said, “Huh?�?nbsp; To which he said, “That was the dumbest movie I’ve seen in a long time.�?nbsp; Then we all laughed.
Yup, it’s that kind of movie; it’s so dumb it’s funny. But I guess when Ben Stiller, Justin Theroux and Etan Cohen wrote it, that’s what they were after.
Trust me though, if you’re thin skinned or prone to some sort of protesting against someone or other being picked on; don’t go. There are some who just may be offended by this movie; I wasn’t. Then again, I had no reason to be.
Well, the flick deserves at least�?oh wait, I bet you want me to give you a little idea of what the movie was about huh? Not sure I can; this film, (do they still call them films?), had so many big names in it, it was hard to keep track of who the star was; but I’ll give it a shot.
Where do I begin? Because it starts before it begins!
We were all shooting the breeze as the ads and trailers rolled by on the screen when one trailer came on about some absurd flick about a family that spends their entire life far…Uhm, flatulently happy, called “The Fatties�? or something like that. It starred some guy that looked a little like Jack Black called Jeff Portnoy. I told Karen, “No way!�?nbsp; That was closely followed a promo about an energy drink called Body Sweat, (or was that Booty Sweat? Whatever!), put to loud rap music sang by some idiot called Alpa Chino; I heard Sylvia mumble something about, “…Disgusting!�?nbsp; The next trailer was some overdone super-hero called “Uhm, Something-or-other Six�? I missed that part. Anyway, it starred some look-alike called Tugg Speedman; “Kinda looks like Ben Stiller doesn’t he, hon?�?
Finally “Tropic Thunder�?begins and, as it turns out, “Tropic Thunder�?is a movie about the director and actors making a big budget “bomb�?called “Tropic Thunder�? a so-so successful book written by Four Leaf Tayback, (Nick Nolte), about the Viet Nam war.
Here we go; the movie, in its fifth day of shooting, is a month behind and the director, Damien Cockburn, (Steve Coogan), is taking serious heat from the producer and money-man, Les Grossman, (Tom Cruise). On top of these problems the two main starts are having trouble coping with each other as they bicker about who should do what. The vanity problems between falling star Tugg Speedman, (Ben Stiller), and still a star Kirk Lazarus, (Robert Downey Jr.) increases as Kirk starts to lose himself in his character; a black sergeant of the Viet Nam-era. Of course, the actor who really gets bent about Kirk’s over-done performances as the “black sergeant�?is the only black actor in the movie, rap singer Alpa Chino, (Brandon T. Jackson).
Next on the list is the drug-addicted comedy-wanna-be-serious-actor Jeff Portnoy, (Jack Black). Remember the trailers and promos I mentioned earlier? Pay attention to them, they are actually part of the movie.
Oh yeah, the last guy in the group, a young up-and-comer that idolizes Lazarus and Speedman; Kevin Sandusky, (Jay Baruchel), that somehow ends up being the only guy in the group that has any sense.
As I said, the filming has gone awry and Cockburn is under the gun. So, on the advice of the phony Viet vet, Four Leaf Tayback, the director takes his band of prima-donnas and drops them out in the middle of some jungle out in the middle of Viet Nam, so he says. He explains that there are cameras everywhere and the jungle is rigged with explosives to give some excitement to their trek; they are to make their way back on their own. Unfortunately for our wanna-be heroes all this excitement attracted the attention of a band of heroine smugglers.
Tugg, Tayback and the chopper pilot are captured and it is up to the remaining four to rescue them, with only past movies for combat experience and rifles filled with blanks to take on their vicious foes.
Did our heroes make it back? Does the movie never get made? Does Tugg Speedman beat out Jon Voight for the Best Actor Oscar and revive his career? Does Leo Grossman do a little celebration dance for his successes? (That guy is just plain weird!) Go see for yourself; yes, it’s worth the early show admission price. It was meant to be dumb/funny, and it was.
Although I have to say; I’ll only give Tropic Thunder Three out of Five Clouds. Worth going to see for a laugh, just not that good of a movie.
Well, that’s it for this time y’all, so ‘til the next time remember, “Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for a ten dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you actually had hair.�?/DIV>
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