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Couldn't get the pictures for these. 1. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion
frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain, and
large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.
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2. Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red, while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead.
Comes with handheld fan and tiny tissues. |
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3.. Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror. |
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4. Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new,roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, two-MuMus with tummy-support panels are included. |
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5. Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have
definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules. |
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6. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.
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7. Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheerleader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root
for Babs and Ken, Jr.. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white
and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.
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8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Alonzo (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered,
along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading
for the Napa Valley to open a B&B. Includes a real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do." |
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9. Divorced Barbie Sells for$ 199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's car and Ken's boat.
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10. Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up with the ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps, instead of dance steps. Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously. Comes with a little copy of The Big Book and a six-pack of Diet Coke.
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11. Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through the channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this year, the book "Getting In Touch with Your Inner Self" is included. |
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I can relate to Flabby Arms Barbie.....lol |
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A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap. Santa asks, 'What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas'?
The little girl replies, 'I want a Barbie and G.I. Joe'.
Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says, 'I thought Barbie comes with Ken'.
'No', said the little girl. 'She comes with G.I. Joe, she fakes it with Ken.' |
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